Tag Archives: College

Laundry Survival Tips for Your College Student (and You)

Laundry Survival Tips For Your College Student and You! It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

First and foremost: THEY CAN DO THEIR OWN EVER-LOVING LAUNDRY!

Ellen: In a very few short weeks my daughter is traveling 1,147 miles away to college. In related news, I may personally make headlines if one more person asks me: “Wow, that’s far. Are you going to miss her?”

While that makes me want to kick a kitten, there is a dumbfounding twist to this irritating conversation that makes my jaw drop. They will say to my daughter: “Well that’s too far away for your mom to do your laundry. What are you going to do?”

“Um, do it myself,” she replies speaking veeeerrrry slooooowly. My high school sophomore daughter generally just stares in disbelief.

One woman of a soon-to-be college freshman even went so far as to tell us, “I told my son if he is coming home every weekend to see his girlfriend, she needs to do his laundry.”

My high school daughter (once again staring in disbelief) replied, “Or he can maybe do it himself?” To her credit, she saved, “Well, isn’t THAT a lucky girl?” for when we were back in the car.

At a party, the subject of laundry came up yet again (really), and a woman looked at me like I was Hermione Granger incarnate and breathed, “But HOW do you get them to do it?”

My high school daughter jumped in with, “Well, when we were too short to reach the buttons, she bought us a step stool.”

The woman may have lost some of her awe as she mentally lumped me in with the orphanage supervisor from Annie, but it’s whatever because this woman (me! it’s me!) is not her family’s laundress.

Erin: But it’s not only about how it benefits you, the parent, it’s about how it benefits your kid. While Ellen is getting an inkling of the laundry ineptitude at college, I KNOW about the lack of skills. My son was the hero of his freshman floor because he knew how to work a laundry machine and what products to use in it. He made lots of friends and he should have gotten a thank you note or two from some parents.

So to recap thus far:

  1. If your precious is smart enough to attend college, they can work a washing machine.
  2. It is not Quantum Physics. (See number one.)
  3. Girlfriends are not for laundry. (Neither are mothers.)
  4. Laundry skills = instant popularity.

Even if your kid has never lifted a stain stick, it’s not too late! Don’t let them learn about it on the streets . . . er, on the freshman hall. Bonus: they probably won’t even need a step stool. Here’s a laundry checklist/tutorial/pure genius to share with them.

Syllabus for College Laundry 101 |It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Syllabus for College Laundry 101

Supplies:

  • Laundry bags, hampers, and/or baskets (Basically, containment for the filth.)
  • Zippered mesh washing bags (Sometimes called lingerie or delicates bags.)
  • Detergent pods
  • Stain stick
  • Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus
  • Dryer fabric softener sheets
  • Optional: Drying rack (Over-the-door models are great space savers.)
  • Optional: color catching sheets

The Basics

It’s all about the sorting.

Darks get washed with darks and lights get washed with lights. Don’t be the cliché who turns their underwear pink with a red sock; it’s sad.

Either have two separate hampers (the preferred method) and sort as you take the clothes off or sort at the machine. Have a bunch of mesh washing bags near your hamper(s) for things you don’t want to go in the dryer like bras, the tissue paper that passes for Forever 21 clothing, and sports jerseys. Put these items in the zippered bags AS SOON AS YOU TAKE THEM OFF to avoid mishaps.

Also, treat stains with your stain stick before you put them in your hamper. Chances are pretty good you won’t remember about that ketchup blob on laundry day. But take note of this: nothing sets a stain like a spin in the dryer.

It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

What to do with an item that is both light and dark? Most likely wash it with darks because then it becomes all about the water temperature (see below). There are also color catching sheets you can add to your load to “grab” any dye that bleeds.

Besides color, there is another consideration: texture and weight. For example, jeans are best washed in a load by themselves. Think about denim grating against your t-shirt for 40 minutes. It might not have a good outcome. If you have more than one towel, you may want to consider washing them by themselves. A couple of towels bunched up in a load can throw a washing machine off-balance, but this is not as big of a deal in a commercial machine.

One important note: don’t tightly stuff the tub with your clothes. They need room to agitate.

This is a good time to brush up on your reading.

Hey, when confusion sets in, read the label! It’s jammed packed with all sorts of information like what wash temperature to use and whether you should hand wash it. There’s a chart available here to help you crack the code of those symbols.

One caveat, cheaper clothes are often labeled “hand wash.” We often get away with washing them in mesh bags in the machine on a cold water setting. It’s all about the risk. If you would be devastated that your favorite shirt got ruined, hand wash it. If it was SUPER expensive and/or made of wool or silk and it’s labeled “hand wash,” you should heed the instructions. Buuuuutttttt, if it was a twelve dollar shirt that you probably won’t wear past one season anyway, it’s up to you to see what you can get away with.

It’s also about the temperature.

If you want to keep it simple starting out, wash everything in cold. But remember darks should always be washed in cold water. If you are feeling a little braver, lights can be washed in warm with a cold water rinse. Towels, sheets, and your gross light colored gym socks and basic underwear can be washed in hot if the labels say it’s okay.

SO many buttons.

The good news is that commercial washers are pretty straightforward and generally have instructions printed on them. Home washers tend to try to be fancier and more confusing, but all you have to do is Google the model to find the instruction manual.

In general, the “Normal/Cotton” cycle has a high agitation level good for dirtier clothes, “Permanent Press” is a warm wash followed by a cold rinse, and “Delicates” has the least rambunctious agitation and spin cycle.

Don’t forget the detergent.

Detergent pods are the best thing to happen to college students since their acceptance letters. No more schlepping heavy detergent bottles around. One note: the pods go in the bottom of the washer before you put your clothes in, not in the soap dispenser.

It’s dry time!

Back to that pesky label reading thing. Drying instructions should always be heeded. If a tag indicates an item should not go in the dryer, IT SHOULD NOT GO IN THE DRYER. For those things that can go in the dryer, throw in a fabric softener sheet and set the machine for the recommended temperature.

A good life practice is to fold/hang clothes as they come out of the dryer. For those of you snorting over this suggestion, see the next step.

Ironing.

Hahahahahahahaha! More jokes! Ironing barely happens in our own homes.

It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Here’s Ellen’s situation.

Here’s what the ironing organizer is really used for on the daily.

Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus | It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!! | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Which leads us to our next step . . .

Wrinkle releasing.

Here’s assuming your clean laundry is in a wrinkled heap in your basket. (We tend to be realists.) You can A) seek out the kid whose delusional mom actually thought she would use an iron or B) whip out your Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus. Just spray, tug, smooth, and hang and you’re good to go (remember to allow for a very wee bit of time for drying).

Laundry denial.

So you let your dirty clothes pile up under your bed, in your closet, or beneath your sleeping head? Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus can fix that too. Spray it, spray it real good, to eliminate the odor and ensure peaceful cohabitation with your roommate. (You can even spritz their piles if they are the offenders.)

Laundry karma.

Listen closely to this one. Never, EVER, pull a person’s clean laundry out of the washer and dump it onto the floor. You do NOT need to send that kind of bad juju out into the universe to bite you in the butt when you least expect it.

ONE LAST TIP!

It’s not an urban legend that a majority of students do NOT change their sheets. It’s a joke because people are laughing through the tears . . . because the funky sheets are making their eyes water. While we firmly believe kids should do their own laundry, we acknowledge that parents might have to do this trick at move-in.

  1. Put down the cushy mattress topper.
  2. Cover with a mattress protector.
  3. Put on a fitted sheet.
  4. Layer on ANOTHER mattress protector.
  5. Top with ANOTHER fitted sheet.
  6. Make bed up with the flat sheet, blanket, and comforter.
  7. Artfully arrange pillows.
  8. Take a picture because it might never look this way again.

So the thought is, that after a week or fifteen, your student can just peel off the top sheets and mattress protector and have a fresh bed. Of course this isn’t foolproof because your precious still has to tuck in a clean top sheet and change the pillowcase, but it’s worth a try. You probably should recommend frequent spritzes with Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus just to be safe.

One last picture because we’re ironic like this. Okay, we know it’s not irony, but we at least qualify for punny. Right!?

Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus | It's never too late (or too early) to teach your child life skills! Comprehensive laundry survival tips, advice and how-to for your college student and you! The bed-making and wrinkle busting tips are amazing!| Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

While we were compensated by Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus for this post, all love for this product and hard-won advice about college laundry are all our own.

Get your coupon for Downy Wrinkle Releaser Plus here!

Follow them on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter for more great tips!

 

Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

I Just Want to Be Perfect

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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Why This Mom is on Snapchat

Well, I guess the number one reason I’m on Snapchat is rooted deeply in my psyche. I always wanted to be a dragon for Halloween and because of gender bias stereotypes in the 1970s I was coerced into being a princess year after year instead. With Snapchat filters, I can realize my dream while parked in my driveway—no glue gun or sewing skills required.

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Just kidding. I always got to pick my costumes. I’m on Snapchat because I have teenagers—and not for the reasons that may immediately come to mind like monitoring their activity and just plain understanding what they’re up to on their phones. Articles about managing your children’s social media have been written. Heck, we’ve written one.

No, this is more of a “if you can’t beat them, join them” sort of thing . . . or maybe it’s more like a “beat them at their own game” deal. Either way, I sound uber-competitive and that was not my intent. My point is that I’m on there to interact with them through their preferred mode of communication. My theory is that if I make it easy for them, I am going to get more frequent interfaces with them. I bet your grandma loves letters, but when was the last time you sent one? Hmmm?

This grooming them to share their day with you may seem trivial when you can just get the recap around the dinner table or on the way to lacrosse practice. It can cause a mild panic attack when it hits you that you are sending your babies away to college.

This has nothing to do with “helicoptering” either. It’s just that some of my favorite people in the world are the ones I created and I like to see their fun and joy. Just because they have the freedom to spread their wings and leave the nest doesn’t mean we have to be incommunicado. That’s not how family works.

My descent into Snapchat began when my senior in high school went with her marching band to Disney World. I felt fine sending her on her own because in seven extremely short months she would be on her own in college anyway. It’s just I was bummed missing out on the fun of it all. I love Disney and I ADORE watching my kids experiencing it. With Snapchat, she was able to quickly share tidbits (like taunting me with the balmy temps) and I could follow her “Story”—the photos she strung together to represent her day.

Do you feel like I have crossed over into a different language? Watch this quick tutorial I put together. Many of my friends complain that Snapchat is not intuitive, but they didn’t have two teenagers giving them the guided tour. I tried to recreate the same thing for you  . . . minus the exasperated eye rolls.

I do recommend downloading the Snapchat app to your phone and opening it up for the first time before watching the video so that it makes some sort of sense to you.

Also, here are two terms to help you orient yourself as you get started. (You can view more here, but once again, they will not make much sense until you tool around the app a bit.)

  1. Snap: a video or a picture captured and shared on the Snapchat app.
  2. Story: Snaps shared to all of a user’s Snapchat friends are compiled into a series of photos or videos called a Story. Unlike individual Snaps, which disappear almost instantly, Stories stay on the app for 24 hours. The snaps sequentially disappear as they reach their 24 hour expiration marks. Snapchat users may also download their own Stories to keep a permanent record of each day’s events, if desired.

 

Here’s Why I Like Snapchat

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

  • It doesn’t last forever. I like to think of them as the telephone conversations of yore. It’s communication in the moment without a trail (and without taking up storage on your phone). While you can replay a Snap, you’d better do it quickly because you only have a minute or two.
  • It is communication on-the-go. While you might annoy your college freshman with a “check-in” call or text while they are in the middle of something, they seem to always be up for sending a goofy face.
  • It shows your interest. Getting on Snapchat should be the opposite of stalking your kids on social media. It’s about fun and showing your kids they’re important enough for you to meet them where they “live.”
  • It lets me know where I am. This was an unexpected bonus. When we were traveling up to Boston University this past spring, I could snap a picture along our way up I-95, swipe right, and the geofilters would tell me exactly where we were. (Note: not all locations have geofilters.) I could also check my husband’s speed without being obvious. Ahem.
Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Janel Mills (from 649.133 – Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.) and I definitely already knew we were in Atlantic City. It was just fun to share.

  • It has given me unexpected insights. Back to Boston University. My daughter and I followed the School of Communication “Story” and it made a huge impact on her decision that students were still wearing parkas to class in April. And there was snow on the ground. In April.
  • It has given me cool points. My kids’ friends CANNOT believe I am on Snapchat. Added bonus is that I can stay in touch with them even when they are no longer parading through my house because my daughter is off to college. (The “sob” is implied.)
  • It’s just for me. This point might just pertain to myself and bloggers like me, but this is my only social media account that is not a “platform” for me (although some bloggers are using it that way to fabulous ends like Mommy Shorts.) I can just go on here to play, not create content for the world.

Minor Etiquette Points

  • Inform your teen before jumping on and explain you are doing it to communicate . . . and get the kickin’ filters. My youngest daughter usually blocks me from viewing her story . . . and I’m okay with that. If she wants to send goofy things to her friends (don’t worry, we have the sexting/bullying/strangerdanger talk about ever 52 hours), I don’t have to be a part of it. I liken it to the way I would have felt if my parents listened on the extension to my teenage phone conversations. (Could there be a more 80s sentence than that?)

On the flip side, she is the only one I have a “Snapstreak” with. Once you and a friend have Snapped each other (not Chatted) within 24 hours for more than one consecutive day, you start a “streak” . . . and the pressure builds not to break it. I broke our last one and I’m still hearing about it.

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

  • You don’t have to respond to pictures by sending a Chat. One of the reasons often cited for teens’ love of the app is that it reduces the pressure for feedback in terms of “likes” and comments. When sending pictures and videos, teens don’t have to worry about whether their “like count” will indicate their level of popularity like it does on Instagram.

With that being said, my friend, the profoundly talented, outrageously hilarious Rebecca from Frugalista Blog sent me this Chat when I was posting all those Snaps on My Story as examples.

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Chats like these are ALWAYS welcome, no matter what any whipper-snapper says. Just know that the pressure is off because people don’t expect you to respond.

  • If you do need to respond to the under-20 set, they will probably expect a Snap back. Either just take a random (often blurry) picture of the floor or wall, and caption your response on it or you can take a selfie of your expression.

Got a teen? Then you should be on Snapchat . . . and not for the reasons you might think. Find out why this mom (spoiler: the mom is me) is on there. Great and easy Snapchat tutorial, too. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

This is not everything by far, but I hope it helps. The biggest takeaway is that if you have teens, you are missing out on a huge way to connect if you are not on Snapchat with them. Also, don’t be afraid to swipe and tap around on the app. You never know what you’ll unlock.

Happy Snapchatting!

-Ellen

 

Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.

I Just Want to Be Perfect

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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7 Things You Can Do to Get a Kid Ready for College

If you have a high school senior, you are sprinting towards the finish line. You might feel a bit whoozy as you rush from that end-of-year banquet to that awards ceremony while simultaneously planning a graduation party, but buckle up. If you are getting ready to launch your first chick from the nest, this is the roller coaster ride you will be riding all summer. Time certainly feels like it is running out now: time together as a family, time to just enjoy your kid, time to tell your kid everything he needs to know about having a beautiful, safe, happy life, time to just love her in the easy way that is a family. But the truth is that we never stop parenting, it’s just HOW we parent that has to change over the next few years. Here are some things you can do to get a kid ready for college. These ideas will help you all!Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Ride the wave.

Let yourself and your kid feel whatever you need to feel. Pride, joy, a sense of loss, apprehension, even grief—all of these emotions might bubble up. Or not. You are an individual and so is your kid.  Just like there is no real compass for how to handle sending your kid off into the great blue yonder we call The College Years, there is no one right way to feel about them leaving either. You can’t help yourself from wanting a way to navigate the vast sea of unknowns and unknowables, but you can help you and yours by being honest about where you are and what you are feeling.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you gonna be able to muster a thumbs up? Or a mopey hug? Either way, it’s OK.

2. Ask for help.

As in all things in parenting, reach out to the those who have traveled this road before, either virtually or in real time. We have made a great booklist to help you, but don’t dismiss the value of the internet and great posts like this one about how to send your firstborn son to college or this perfect guide to college. Sometimes, the short, sweet observations from the road ahead will be just what you need when you need it. Similarly, we think of the ladies over at Grown and Flown as our internet big sisters on this road. They have great posts about nearly every aspect of this next phase of life. Of course, we have a short and simple guide for how you can help your girlfriend send her kid to college too. The bottom line? For some things like sending your kid to college there is no way to go but through it. Just know that you don’t have go it alone.

3. Create a space to come home to.

Special traditions can be a pain with all the planning, time, and expense, but every time Erin made her husband tape up a pinata for Cinco de Mayo or order special treats for their Doctor Who party, she said the same thing: “Kids come home for stuff like this.” We both always wanted to create our own little country that my kids would want to keep visiting. We invested in experiences over things and hoped that not having a pony would pale in comparison to all the happy memories we made. Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 4. Be honest about what you need.

 All we parents really want is to have a good relationship with our kids especially as they move up and out. But an 18 year old’s ideas of what that entails differs wildly from his parent’s. Between texting, Facetime, Skype, and Snapchat, there is no end to the ways to stay connected as the miles between you stretch, but a good relationship requires open and honest communication, not just easy access. Tell your kid what you want but tread lightly. Even if you asked him to call you every Sunday, don’t nail him when he doesn’t. Text often and leave the lines of communication open. Then when he goes radio silent on you, hopefully, it won’t be for too long.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 5. Sit on hands, close mouth, open ears.

Active parenting is over, but actual parenting is not. It is so much easier to say than do, but plan to listen 90% of the time and only offer advice when asked. Young adults need to wrestle through decisions and make their own conclusions. If you want to be the sounding board, start acting like one.  

 6. Set goals and make clear expectations.

Things are gonna get awkward. Someone called freshmen “high schoolers who happen to be in college. ” Your child and his peers won’t have all the life skills figured out by October. Being honest about what they can expect, what we expect, and what we want for them and what they want for themselves will do much to create a positive relationship this year. It’s also a good time to mention that college is not a magical place of unicorns and rainbows. These years are also hard work, crappy roommate drama, and bad food. There are plenty of goods to outweigh the bad, but it’s life and if it’s crappy sometimes, that’s ok today.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 7. Be flexible.

An open heart and an open mind won’t just benefit everyone, it will make this parenting an adult thing a smoother transition. Vow to be open to talking about your own college experience as well as to hearing that his isn’t great. Vow to ask open-ended questions as well as be ready for answers that you aren’t ready for. Vow to let her follow her own path and to check your own stuff.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

You CAN do this!

You are about to have one of those summers that can’t be captured in a postcard or photograph. The emotional roller coaster and the super warp speed time travel may be disorienting and draining. But remember: this new hard thing called college may not be as unfamiliar as you might have thought. A lot of this summer is really just getting ready, physically and emotionally. You will need to outfit the perfect college dorm and find bargains to make it all affordable. Let these last steps together bolster your resolve and boost your confidence. You didn’t get through the last eighteen years of parenting without knowing how to rock a back-to-school list. You can do this. You HAVE done this. This can be done. Sending a kid to college may not be as easy as checking off boxes, but it’s just the next phase in this parenting ride you are on with your child. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

-Erin and Ellen

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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How to Stay Connected with Your College Kid

We are on a wild ride here at The Sisterhood: The Express Chute to College. It goes from 0 to 600 without any brakes, takes surprise hairpin switchbacks that leave your disoriented for days, swings your emotions from elation to heartbreak on the turn of a dime, and grinds your bank account until it physically hurts . . . but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s a blessing, but, oh my goodness, it’s exhausting. Between the two of us, we’ll be on this ride so long we may need a rehabilitation program to adjust us to life without SATs and submitting the Common Application on the regular.

Just so you can be sure to follow along on your scorecard, Erin has five kids–four sons and one daughter–and Ellen has two daughters. Erin kicked this party off by sending her oldest son to college last year, Ellen sends her oldest daughter away in August, Erin follows up the next year with her daughter, then we both get a two year break until “Boom!” Erin sends another son while Ellen sends her youngest daughter for a double graduation year. But wait, there’s more! Literally. Erin has two more sons.

And we’re not going to sugarcoat it, it’s hard adjusting to the shifting dynamics of your family. You almost feel like you need a guide. Luckily Erin wrote one: Handle with Care: A Sweet and Simple Guide to Helping Your Friend Send Her Kid to College. If you need some commiseration or direction, this is it.

But just to cut to the chase, there is one lifeline that will trump all others. Staying connected. We’ve written oodles of advice about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids, BUT . . .

Sometimes it’s not about leaving yourself open to their ideas and opinions.

Sometimes it’s not about leaving your own agenda behind and following their lead.

Sometimes it’s not about keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.

SOMETIMES IT’S ONLY ABOUT THEM HAVING A CHARGE ON THEIR EVERLOVIN’ PHONE WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK TO YOU.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Seriously. Sometimes it’s that simple. And what is simply wonderful is that this is one of those moments where blogging has made our parenting easier and better. We have been lucky enough to partner with myCharge several times over the past couple of years, but this time they really came through for us by gifting us the myCharge HubPlus 6000mAh. (By the way, we’re able to gift you with a 40% off coupon code and a chance to win an iPad mini and a HubPlus of your very own, but more on that in a bit, also known as “at the bottom of the post.”)

We’re not even kidding when we say myCharge gave Erin one of the best conversations of her life.

Erin: Since my son went to school 300 miles away, texting has been our connection. There have been some calls and Face Time with the whole family boisterously talking over top of each other as is the dog pile M.O of the Dymowski clan, but calls between just my boy and me have been few and far between. Until The Call.

I hadn’t shared an actual conversation with him since our good-byes as he went back to school after winter break. So while I was pleasantly surprised when HE called me out of the blue, my first words were a panicky “Is everything ok? Are you bleeding?” But he babbled right over my initial nervous blurt, we bantered a little, and then he talked NON-STOP for the better part of an hour. It was Christmas in April, a ticker tape parade, and perfect haircut all rolled up in one! I heard all about his summer internship (which I knew nothing about), his new girlfriend (who I sort of knew about. Thank you, Instagram feed!), his classes (which his sister said were kicking his butt), and his work on the television and radio stations there (which I watched or listened to each week). Never underestimate the power of real spoken words in real time over the airwaves to warm a Mom’s heart and keep the connection going strong.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This picture with myCharge was posed when I picked my boy up from school, but the moment myCharge gave me with my son was 100% authentic. We call this one: Call your mother!

Ellen: And remember those hairpin switchbacks we were talking about on The Express Chute to College? My family was thrown for its own loop. Just eight days before a commitment had to be signed, we were visiting the University of Miami–an eleventh hour addition to the Common App. A school that was ultimately added because of its academics and opportunities, but was initially thought of because I asked my daughter to apply to a school in a city that was not a past terrorist target. See, the applications were due just weeks after the Paris bombings and her school choices were all located in either Boston, New York City, or Washington, DC.

So, Miami wasn’t the top choice–at that point, she was pretty set on Boston–so only my daughter and I went down because, well, airfare. But our trip seemed worthwhile from the get-go because our meetings with students and the assistant dean impressed us. And as we texted, snapchatted, instagrammed, facebooked, and tweeted our way through the campus (to keep my husband and family in the loop), my daughter knew this was the one. The joy in her face and voice can still choke me up. And all I could think of was “I can’t believe this is the one Frank missed after going all over the East Coast.”

I told her, “You have to call your father and explain to him how this feels to you. Texting is not enough”

And I’m not even kidding, because of myCharge she could. Snapchat can kill a battery.

She dialed her dad for an actual conversation which is almost like spotting a unicorn except more rare.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And they talked . . .

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 And talked.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Because we had the battery power, her Dad was able to share in the magical moment, I was able to take pictures of the whole thing, we were able to continue using Google maps to get us around, and we both never missed a beat on social media. Did I mention my daughter and I both fully charged our phones off of a single HubPlus charge??

But enough about us! Let’s talk about what you can get! If you’re a US resident you can enter to win your own iPad mini and HubPlus! We’ve been talking about all that it has done for us phone-wise–like extending talk time by a whooping 45 hours–but this baby is so powerful it can charge an iPad! And no cords to lose! The wall prongs, micro-USB cable, and Apple® Lightning™ cable are all fully integrated. And one of our favorite features is the pass through charging. You can plug this into the wall, plug in your device and the powerbank and connected device will charge simultaneously. We never knew how much this was missing from our lives until MyCharge introduced us to it.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. myCharge HubPlus can help. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you don’t win the giveaway or unable to enter because you’re not a US resident, you can still come out on top.

Go here to myCharge, enter promo code CONGRATS and receive 40% off your very own HubPlus! (The code is valid until the end of June 2016.) There is free shipping on all orders over $25. These would make swell graduation or Father’s Day gifts!

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Good luck and stay in touch!

Ellen and Erin

We were compensated for this post, but all love for our college kids and this product are genuinely our own.

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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Advice for My Daughter as She Graduates

by Ellen Williams

Dear Daughter Who is About to Blow This Popsicle Stand,

I can hear you now, “What? Where do you find a Popsicle stand? I’d rather go for ice cream.” And that right there is why I’m writing my advice in a letter instead of sitting you down for a heart-to-heart: no interruptions, no tangents.

But while you’ve got me on this tangent, for the love of search engines, can you promise me when you don’t know something you’ll Google it? Say for instance, things like idioms and colloquial turns of phrase. You’re post-Millennial for goodness sake. They’re proposing calling your generation Digital Natives, and yet, I always have to remind you to stop shrugging when you don’t know something and pull that super computer of a phone out of your pocket to look it up. When I was your age, it wasn’t that easy. We had to go to shelves containing these books of knowledge known as encyclopedias arranged compulsively in alphabetical order . . .

Okay, sorry about that, but it’s just hitting me hard that I’m not going to be there when you have questions about the little things in life. Sure you can text me, but we’ve already established you may have a tendency to “oh well,” a situation when you don’t have the answer.

You’re about to leave the nest for college and embark on life on your own. Well, more accurately “life on your own” heavily encased in air quotes since dad and I are footing a majority of the bill. Until you’ve chosen between paying the rent and buying name brand cereal for dinner, you haven’t quite sipped from the pool of adulthood.

ANYWAY, my point is I won’t be around to interject my everyday-years-of-experience-old-person knowledge into your life on demand; like that time I stopped you from cleaning the outside of the toaster with nail polish remover. Seriously, acetone and plastic do not mix.

To head these catastrophes off at the pass, I’m going to list as much as I can think of here. In no particular order, here is my “Advice to Make You Look Like More of a Genius Than an A in Calculus.” What? That title may need some work,  but it’s accurate. Calculus may be impressive, but knowing how to clean a toilet is forever.

ANYWAY . . .

A practical love letter filled with advice for a graduating high school senior. Childhood is fleeting, but a mother's love and wisdom are forever. | Parenting | Advice for My Daughter as She Graduates | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

  1. Always open the toilet cleaner pointing AWAY from your face.

  2. Oh and never mix anything with toilet cleaner. My friend forced the evacuation of a summer camp because she mixed ammonia with Sparkly Bowl. Don’t trigger a hazmat situation. It’s embarrassing.

  3. By the way, clean the toilet. Using the brush.

  4. And while we are on the subject of using cleaners properly, never put regular dishwashing liquid in a dishwasher . . . unless you want a flood of suds of Brady Bunch Hijinx proportions.

  5. If “someone” living in your abode makes this mistake, white vinegar will slay those bubbles in an instant.

  6. In fact, just always keep white vinegar around. Unlike nail polish remover which should only be used on nails (it’s in the name, they’re not trying to fool you), white vinegar can be used for just about everything from deodorizing to unclogging shower heads.

  7. What vinegar can’t be used for is a grease fire on the stove. Never throw a liquid (including water) on a cooking fire. You’ll just scatter that sucker around. Use flour or a pot lid or that special fire extinguisher graduation gift—that you rolled your eyes about—to smother the flames. Don’t forget about 911.

  8. You’re not going to walk away from a pan on the stove anyway, right?!

  9. And turn the oven off when you’re done.

  10. And speaking of turning things off, know how to shut the water off before Old Faithful makes a cameo in your kitchen.

  11. It’s righty tighty, lefty loosey.

  12. Always use the right tool for the job. For the love of all that is good, stop opening things with your teeth. The portion of your life where your parents pay for your orthodontia is over.

  13. In general, if it should be moving and doesn’t, blast it with WD-40. If it is moving and it shouldn’t be, duct tape it.

  14. Speaking of things moving, don’t leave your dirty dishes and snack scraps lying around. I saw my first cockroach in college. And mice? Your cat is not going with you to the dorms. I do at least get to keep my fur baby.

  15. Hairspray will kill a cockroach in a pinch. But maybe not in Texas or Florida. Those monsters could survive a nuclear blast. Just. Run.

  16. Never use a paper towel (or Windex) to clean sunglasses, computer screens, or televisions. You would think that at their price points, they would be made out of stuff that could survive a paper towel. They are not.

  17. In general, don’t eat your feelings, but if you must, go for something primo. Don’t waste the calories on a Twinkie.

  18. But really, don’t stress too much about what you eat. Eat healthy because it will make you feel better, but don’t deny yourself that cheeseburger. You have your forties and beyond to do that.

  19. But do stress about drinking enough water. You need at least 64 ounces a day.

  20. But honestly, exercise really is a better stress reliever than eating.

  21. Do at least ten push-ups a day. Push-ups are seriously the perfect exercise. They require no equipment and they’re like the speed dating of upper body workouts, hitting your shoulders, arms, chest and core all in one motion.

  22. Take the stairs. Bonus: unlike an elevator, you’ll never get trapped with a pervert, a screaming baby, or an incontinent grandma.

  23. If you have the choice between staying home in your pajamas or trying something new, even if you think it may be lame, change out of those pjs.

  24. However, there is no shame in “pajama days.” Everyone needs a break.

  25. But for the love of not flashing what the good Lord gave you, never leave the house in pajamas. Even the cute ones.

  26. Remember to put on sunscreen when you do leave the house.

  27. Treat others as you want to be treated. If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for you.

  28. Always assume the person you are talking about (talking is just old-timey speak for texting or Snapchatting) will find out.

  29. If you always get stuck with a task you hate, train someone else to do it.

  30. Crumbs do have to be cleaned out of the toaster.

  31. Clean out the lint trap in the dryer, too.

  32. And never dump someone’s wet clothes from the communal washer onto the floor. That’s the brand of karma that will get your good bras hanging from the trees.

  33. If someone dumps your clothes, you know what to do. Wink, wink.

  34. Scratch #33 and remember #27. See? Adulting is hard.

This list could be endless and I’m sure I forgot something, but don’t worry. Just like the encyclopedias you know nothing about, there will be routine updates. Via text of course.

And if you find yourself in doubt here is the biggie:

CALL/TEXT/SMOKE SIGNAL YOUR MOTHER!

(Or at the very least, Google it. I repeat myself because I have to.)

Some of this advice may seem random or trivial (well, except for the fire safety and hazmat avoidance), but here’s why those are the things I worry about. You have the big things covered.

You are so talented and yet, you have finally grasped “hard work beats talent when talent hardly works.” You brim the confidence that I didn’t even know existed when I was seventeen. You know you deserve to be respected. You know there is more to finding your joy and setting your goals than just being good at something. Happiness doesn’t exist without balance.

You are primed to find the people who honor your soul and fuel your happiness because you believed me when I told you that your classmates were just the luck of the draw. They didn’t have to be “your people” and their opinions didn’t have to hold weight.

Now go fulfill your commitments, tackle your dreams, and dominate your goals. Just remember to always lock your doors while you’re doing it.

I believe in you more than you could ever imagine.

Love,

Mom

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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How to Deal with Sending Your Kid to College

Last year Erin sent a kid to college, and this year Ellen is sending one. True to our dog and cat personalities, we handled the experience of launching a chick from the nest very differently. Check out our latest podcast to hear us talk about our different responses to this big change in our families. Bottom line: there doesn’t need to be one right way to deal with sending your kid to college.

Sending Your Kid to College? Listen to our podcast about parenting our kids through the college admission process and how we dealt with it emotionally |Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Here are some of the posts we reference in the podcast that we either wrote in the midst of the college process or right after:

We also talked about this one about judging other moms: She is Not Your Yardstick.

Thanks for listening!

-Erin and Ellen

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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Wanna hear a great podcast? Just click here | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

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There’s More to High School Sports Than Scholarships

5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Both of our high school freshman did something so crazy, so borderline nutty, so outrageous in today’s youth sports culture that we feel like revolutionaries admitting it: they tried out AS NEWBIES for high school teams!

That’s right. With no resume filled with travel teams, regional championships, or even skills beyond rudimentary, Ellen’s daughter tried out for field hockey and Erin’s son tried out for lacrosse. What’s more, they MADE their respective teams. Say what?!

Now we harbor no dreams of Tokyo 2016 for these two, but we’ve both found the experience of being new to a game more beneficial for our kids—and us—than we could have imagined. In fact, we dare say their experiences actually highlight what sports is at its best and most profound. You know we’re both big fans of sports and what they can do for kids. Now, we’re also big fans of stepping out on that ledge and trying brand new ones because there’s much more to them than superstars and scholarships. Here are five great reasons to let your kids try something new.5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

1. Taking Measured Risks is Good for Kids

Teens love that rush of adrenaline, breaking the mold, and trying out new identities. Learning a new sport provides this without detrimental consequences.

Erin: My son decided two weeks before Christmas that he was going to try out for lacrosse. He took a quick 6 week crash course in lacrosse at the local rec center before try-outs. I think he appreciates lacrosse as much for its newness to him as for the game itself. I appreciate that it gives my hard-playing son a proper outlet for his energy. It doesn’t just keep him off the street, it keeps him off his brothers’ backs, and for that we are all grateful.

Ellen: I have always loved sports because it’s a place to learn the difference between failure and taking the chance to succeed. The most successful athletes often “fail” the most. Michael Jordan revealed, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” I saw my own daughter growing out of her need for perfection—one of the biggest success killers out there—when she jumped into field hockey.

5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

2.  New Friends

For our kids and for us. Stepping out of the comfort zone of friends they have been hanging out with for years is great. We get some fringe benefits too: a fresh crop of sideline sitters. Sure, their earnest talk of the best sports camps, trainers, travel teams, and coaches might needle us, but we can just move our seat at the next game.

5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: My son was convinced before he went to his new high school that he would play tennis, a game he enjoys and actually plays. But he also plays in the band and, in our school, there is a huge overlap between kids in band and tennis. A factor in his decision to try lacrosse wasn’t just the newness of the game, but the fresh faces he would meet there. If high school is largely about trying on the different hats to see which will fit, this is not such a bad strategy, especially at a new school.

Ellen: Girls have cliques. My daughter has been in the same school system for her entire education. Trying a new sport put her with some new girls, and let her see some old faces in a new light. It was a great way to add some freshness to her freshman year.

3.  Sports, at its heart, is supposed to be about challenging yourself mentally and physically.

Nothing pushes both of these limits like learning a new sport. The truth is, in our small pond here, we’re not overrun with college scouts. This means the competition level is such that kids have opportunities to try on a new jersey if they want. They can actually reshape their idea of who they are as athletes and people as they give their peers and family a new lens to view them with.

5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Erin: Lacrosse is hard. My son’s soccer skill set doesn’t really help a whole lot, so there is quite the learning curve. My son is literally falling and failing a little every single day. However, he is also getting better every day. He’s seeing the benefits of following directions. He’s learning from teammates and asking questions about the sport in ways that he just doesn’t have to about soccer with his decade of experience.

Ellen: When, my daughter decided in July to try out for field hockey in August, we went out and got her a stick . . . that she swung like a golf club. I suggested she might want to check out a YouTube video or twenty. And she did. She also spent hours in the backyard putting those YouTube pearls into practice. She knew the game so well by the fall that she became JV co-captain.

4. If you are at the fundamental stage of learning, then you can still have fun.

Sometimes high school sports can be so focused on the “what comes next” stage of things that they lose the joy of the game itself. This is just not true if you are a true beginner. Everything is still shiny and new as you are falling in love with a game.

Erin: My son said, “It’s just like when I was a little kid and someone kicked me a soccer ball. I don’t know exactly what to do with this stick and ball yet, but figuring it out is just fun.”

Ellen: There’s a lot of space for fun when you don’t have the weight of being the veteran leader resting on your shoulders. It allows every pass, dribble, and blocked shot to feel like a victory.

5 Reasons Why There's More to High School Sports Than Scholarships. Sure sports can be about the big college pay-off, but there's much more to universally value about high school sports than just scholarships. | Parenting Advice | Teens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. New coaches means new potential mentors

Teens benefit greatly from adults who challenge, correct, and compliment them. Sure, parents are great cheerleaders, but we want to fill our kids’ lives with as many fans as we can find. It is so good for the fragile teen ego to hear from a fresh new voice that they “like what they see.”

Erin: My son loves to talk about lacrosse, but his favorite story so far centers around when they were discussing positions to play. The coach asked all the boys where they liked to play. Having barely played, and with no real experience anywhere, my son said, “Wherever you need me to, Coach.” Well, his coach LOVED that, and they started to develop a solid coach and player rapport after that.

Ellen: We’ve had some less than stellar experiences with coaches through the years. I try to take the bad with a grain of salt and craft positive lessons out of them. Sometimes I even succeed. I didn’t know much about the field hockey coaches at the high school, but boy was I pleasantly surprised. My daughter landed in one of the most supportive and positive sports environments in the school. Hooray for good role models! It makes my job that much easier.

There you have it, our reasons why scholarships shouldn’t be parents’ only focus for high school sports. It is fantastic to be that one in 7.4 million superstar to compete in NCAA athletics beyond high school, we’re just gratified there’s so much benefit for mere mortals, too.

-Erin and Ellen 

Need even more convincing? Read 5 Reasons Youth Sports Are Worth the Time, Sweat and Price Tag.

5 Reasons Youth Sports Are Worth the Time, Sweat, and Price Tag

New sport, no friends to depend on? Read How to Create a Carpool.

How to Create a Carpool

 

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10 Books to Read Before You Send Your Kid to College

Sports and prom and graduation day, oh my! Even with our spring overstuffed to-do lists, we managed to pull together a booklist for you of our favorite reads for getting yourself and your kid ready for college. Even if it will be a little while before your baby crosses that stage and moves that tassel, even if you are just overcome planning all the things you want to say to your graduate, even if college is still very much a SOMEDAY rather than a couple of months from now, try to find some time to open up one of these great books. Time moves super fast in the teen years, so you might want to get started today.

Got application anxiety? College admission angst? 10 books to read before your kids goes to college | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. The Admissions by Meg Mitchell Moore

Any parent who has been through it will tell you: college admissions is an emotional pressure cooker. Nothing quite captures the high highs and the low lows quite like this utterly delectable piece of fiction. The Hawthornes are a family so familiar you feel from the first page like you might be reading about your next door neighbors. As their oldest gets put through the wringer applying to Harvard, dad’s alma mater, so do the rest of them. As the pressure is on, things start to unravel and secrets are revealed. Bottom line: an immensely enjoyable read for you that will make you grateful for your own process in comparison.

2. Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania by Frank Bruni

We get the anxiety around getting into college.  It’s not just about getting into college, but the right one that makes a difference, right? Bruni has made it his life’s work to smack that idea right out of your head. With frank, honest talk and persuasive arguments for why you are looking at this whole college admissions thing all wrong, Bruni turns everything you think you know about it on its head. His passion is palpable and his research thorough. In the end, his argument that motivated kids can get a good education almost anywhere feels like just the balm you needed just when you needed it.

3. Colleges That Change Lives: 40 Schools That Will Change the Way You Think About Colleges by Loren Pope

Snuggle this one up beside that big honking behemoth, Princeton Review’s The Complete Book of Colleges . Honestly, this book gave us a different way to talk about college and all the different reasons you matriculate to institutes of higher learning besides just the great job opportunities. We love, love, LOVE the acknowledgement that kids, like colleges, are not a “one size fits all” commodity. So many great ideas here for kids who might not fit the mold of the high achiever but who would thrive in college. A great resource that opened up lots of great discussions with our kids!

4. Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman

Before you launch your young man out into the world at large, read this book. Frankly, anyone who spends any time at all around any boys age 11 through 18 needs to read it too. With over 200 interviews with boys and strong research guiding her conclusions, Wiseman draws the adolescent boy in sharp relief and gives us not only a true picture of the more complex lives of boys, but some ways we can help them through the next few years.

Our favorite insight is that we as a society do boys a disservice by dismissing their emotional lives as simple when they most assuredly are not. There is even a free e-book for boys themselves to read about what to do in difficult situations.

We know what you’re thinking: Wiseman is kind of a superhero. Or a superstar. In any case, she has written a book that can save you and any special boys in your life and help get them ready for that eventual big step up and away from you.

5. Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman

And Wiseman works a similar magic for girls. Erin read this book when she first started teaching middle school and it fundamentally changed the way she looked at girls, their friendships, and their struggles with each other and themselves.

Wiseman offers sage, sound advice for how to guide girls towards treating themselves with dignity and grace and treating each other fairly, but there is so much more than that in this book. Understanding girl power plays, how boys fit into the big picture of girl relationships, and the different roles girls play really helps anyone who knows or loves an adolescent girl guide her to her best, most authentic self. Thanks again to the wonderful and very wise Wiseman for helping us prepare our daughters (and yours) for the big wide world.

6. Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour

When it comes to advice about college, we listen to our friends Lisa and Mary Dell who write over at Grown and Flown, a great online resource for parenting through this next phase of life. They told us to buy this book, and we are ever so grateful they did. Chock full of great research, stellar examples, and good advice, this book is a gem, but what we felt was most helpful was the overall tone. Damour’s message time and time again is that we, as parents, can do this very hard thing of parenting our girls through this tough phase of development.  With the cool confident tone of a priest or a hostage negotiator, Damour emphasizes  that there is more than one way to “get this right.”  Our harried teen mom hearts wish we could clone her and carry her around in our pockets to talk us down off our ledges when the time comes. In the end, this is one book that will deliver all of you to the other side and get you ready for the big, beautiful things that lie ahead.

7. Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by John Krakauer  

This one might make you want to lock up ALL of your college aged kiddos, but you HAVE to read it. You know how we love to talk to kids about everything from sex to drugs to alcohol. Well, Krakauer lays out why we need to talk to our kids about alcohol and campus rape too. YIKES! But why, you ask? WHY?! We get that this is a tough read in many places, but Krakauer’s firm steady journalistic hand makes this one of the best, most important (but still immensely readable) things you can read, especially if you have kids filling out college applications or already cozied up in dorm rooms. It is a book that launched a thousand conversations for us. We are sharing it with you in the hopes that it will do the same in your family. A MUST read!

8. How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims

This, from Julie Lythcott-Haims’ Amazon author page, is one of the reasons we love her and her book:

I am deeply interested in humans – all of us – living lives of meaning and purpose, which requires figuring out what we’re good at and what we love, and being the best version of that self we can be. So I’m interested in what gets in the way of that.

Um, yeah, all of what she said. This is not a book about helicopter parenting, per se, so much as a path through the fears that can interfere with our parenting and foil our relationships with our kids. Lythcott-Haims tells us how we as a society evolved to this style of parenting and how to break the bad habits that threaten the job we are trying to do. Such insight in such a readable form! A book we keep coming back to again and again!

9. The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults by Frances Jensen

You know our science-loving hearts love us some fine research. This one is top notch while also keeping it real. Jensen is a mom to two boys as well as a neurologist. She gets that we don’t want to just know why our crazy teens act the way they do, but what we can do about it. Brimming with good science and better ideas of how to use that research to improve our parenting, this book won over our hearts and minds.

10. The Naked Roommate: For Parents Only: A Parent’s Guide to the New College Experience: Calling, Not Calling, Packing, Preparing, Problems, Roommates, … Matters when Your Child Goes to College by Harlan Cohen

When Erin sent her oldest to college this fall, she desperately needed a place to answer her five million questions. Her friends were all, “we haven’t done this before, make a new friend.” Harlan Cohen was that buddy. Erin loved his straight-shooting, non-preachy tone and oodles of relevant advice. If at times it felt like he had peered into her soul and presciently written chapters just for her, well, that was just gravy. Though the 600 pages look daunting, this book is one you pick up and put down. Think of it as the Bible of Letting Go. There is a companion book for kids headed to college which we did not purchase. Erin knows her kid and the sheer volume of it meant that it would be a doorstop, not a resource. But THIS book was perfect for her and, hopefully you too, as you and your family take this next big step.

So whether you have a kid heading off to college in the fall or a few years from now, these are all books that will help you not just survive but enjoy this brave new world you are entering.

-Erin and Ellen

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What It’s Like Waiting for Your Kid’s College Admission Letters

Even though it’s March, my high school senior is still receiving mailings from colleges.

What It's Like Waiting for Your Kids College Admission Letters | What is it like waiting for your kid's college admission letters? It's a burrito of emotions, locked behind a glass case, just begging you to set it free. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

To quote my youngest daughter, “Who was the marketing genius behind this?!”

But for her, the “where to apply” question has been answered, her die has been cast, that ship has sailed and whatever other cliché can cover NO MORE APPLICATIONS. However, “where will she go?” is the question on everyone’s lips from her grandparents to her dentist, and the one that has me perching expectantly on the edge of my seat.

As is often the way with Facebook, College Admissions: How to Survive While Your Kid Waits came through my feed at exactly the time I needed it. Full of commiseration and tongue-in-cheek chuckles, it got me to thinking about what this waiting period really is like. Before the calendar flipped to March, I just used that age-old coping strategy employed by horror film damsels and political candidates alike–I denied/ignored/squashed my apprehension. But as the trees start to bloom, so does my perturbation. Wait, back that up, I’m not really perturbed or filled with dread so much as the suspense is killing me. It’s a lot like waiting for Christmas morning.

Yes! It’s like Christmas morning: the wiggly ants in your pants anticipation, that giddy feeling that makes it hard to fall asleep, the wondering what you’re going to get and when you can show it to your friends. Except St. Nick ends the torture on the same day every year. There’s no “is this the day?!” Yeah, and no one gets their presents four months ahead of everyone else just for making a short list and turning it in early. (I’m looking at you early decision-ers.) Hey, but Santa does make parents foot the bill so this analogy still works on some levels.

Maybe it’s more like sitting by the phone waiting to get asked to prom. The whole “will he or won’t he?” layered over “will today be the day?” Calm down, I’m talking back in the era of landlines and bad perms because of course modern young women don’t have to wait to be asked. I’m just trying to channel the fluttery hope, the endless dissection of what might happen, but this probably isn’t right, either. One rejection letter could transform this “High School Musical” into the blood bath from “Carrie.” Also, I’ve tweaked my own feminism with this example, so let’s just agree there was more wrong with the 80s than just the sky-high bangs, and move on.

Maybe it’s more like winning The Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes! (Oh yes I just googled to see if it’s still a thing, and it is!) That Prize Patrol captures the manna from heaven, out of the blue, gift of it all excitement. I would totally not be against dumping the contents of the paper shredder over my girl to celebrate the moment. But you know what? This isn’t right either. Even though admissions are tough, my daughter has better odds of getting an acceptance than 1 in 200,000,000  because it’s not just up to chance. My girl has worked hard, tested well, and thoughtfully chosen schools. While there are so many wonky factors that go into admissions and fabulous candidates have to be in the rejection pile, too, this isn’t a game of roulette. Also, we’ll be the ones handing over the check so “womp, womp.”

You know what this is like exactly? A continuation of the wild ride that is motherhood: never knowing exactly what is around the corner and meeting that unknown with high hopes seasoned liberally with apprehension. I’m a mother who has loved her daughter with all of her heart since the moment I laid eyes on her. The loving was easy, but navigating motherhood? Not so much. I was so completely overwhelmed and floored by all it took to mother my daughter through childhood, and now here she teeters on the brink of adulthood waiting to see where she can take that next step and I am electric with excitement. All I can do is continue to love her, trust in God that she will end up where she belongs . . . and totally and completely keep ALL of my nervous trepidation to myself. Shhhhh!

-Ellen 

What It's Like Waiting for Your Kids College Admission Letters | What is it like waiting for your kid's college admission letters? It's a burrito of emotions, locked behind a glass case, just begging you to set it free. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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