Tag Archives: Sisterhood Secret

How to Stay Connected with Your College Kid

We are on a wild ride here at The Sisterhood: The Express Chute to College. It goes from 0 to 600 without any brakes, takes surprise hairpin switchbacks that leave your disoriented for days, swings your emotions from elation to heartbreak on the turn of a dime, and grinds your bank account until it physically hurts . . . but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s a blessing, but, oh my goodness, it’s exhausting. Between the two of us, we’ll be on this ride so long we may need a rehabilitation program to adjust us to life without SATs and submitting the Common Application on the regular.

Just so you can be sure to follow along on your scorecard, Erin has five kids–four sons and one daughter–and Ellen has two daughters. Erin kicked this party off by sending her oldest son to college last year, Ellen sends her oldest daughter away in August, Erin follows up the next year with her daughter, then we both get a two year break until “Boom!” Erin sends another son while Ellen sends her youngest daughter for a double graduation year. But wait, there’s more! Literally. Erin has two more sons.

And we’re not going to sugarcoat it, it’s hard adjusting to the shifting dynamics of your family. You almost feel like you need a guide. Luckily Erin wrote one: Handle with Care: A Sweet and Simple Guide to Helping Your Friend Send Her Kid to College. If you need some commiseration or direction, this is it.

But just to cut to the chase, there is one lifeline that will trump all others. Staying connected. We’ve written oodles of advice about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids, BUT . . .

Sometimes it’s not about leaving yourself open to their ideas and opinions.

Sometimes it’s not about leaving your own agenda behind and following their lead.

Sometimes it’s not about keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.

SOMETIMES IT’S ONLY ABOUT THEM HAVING A CHARGE ON THEIR EVERLOVIN’ PHONE WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK TO YOU.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Seriously. Sometimes it’s that simple. And what is simply wonderful is that this is one of those moments where blogging has made our parenting easier and better. We have been lucky enough to partner with myCharge several times over the past couple of years, but this time they really came through for us by gifting us the myCharge HubPlus 6000mAh. (By the way, we’re able to gift you with a 40% off coupon code and a chance to win an iPad mini and a HubPlus of your very own, but more on that in a bit, also known as “at the bottom of the post.”)

We’re not even kidding when we say myCharge gave Erin one of the best conversations of her life.

Erin: Since my son went to school 300 miles away, texting has been our connection. There have been some calls and Face Time with the whole family boisterously talking over top of each other as is the dog pile M.O of the Dymowski clan, but calls between just my boy and me have been few and far between. Until The Call.

I hadn’t shared an actual conversation with him since our good-byes as he went back to school after winter break. So while I was pleasantly surprised when HE called me out of the blue, my first words were a panicky “Is everything ok? Are you bleeding?” But he babbled right over my initial nervous blurt, we bantered a little, and then he talked NON-STOP for the better part of an hour. It was Christmas in April, a ticker tape parade, and perfect haircut all rolled up in one! I heard all about his summer internship (which I knew nothing about), his new girlfriend (who I sort of knew about. Thank you, Instagram feed!), his classes (which his sister said were kicking his butt), and his work on the television and radio stations there (which I watched or listened to each week). Never underestimate the power of real spoken words in real time over the airwaves to warm a Mom’s heart and keep the connection going strong.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This picture with myCharge was posed when I picked my boy up from school, but the moment myCharge gave me with my son was 100% authentic. We call this one: Call your mother!

Ellen: And remember those hairpin switchbacks we were talking about on The Express Chute to College? My family was thrown for its own loop. Just eight days before a commitment had to be signed, we were visiting the University of Miami–an eleventh hour addition to the Common App. A school that was ultimately added because of its academics and opportunities, but was initially thought of because I asked my daughter to apply to a school in a city that was not a past terrorist target. See, the applications were due just weeks after the Paris bombings and her school choices were all located in either Boston, New York City, or Washington, DC.

So, Miami wasn’t the top choice–at that point, she was pretty set on Boston–so only my daughter and I went down because, well, airfare. But our trip seemed worthwhile from the get-go because our meetings with students and the assistant dean impressed us. And as we texted, snapchatted, instagrammed, facebooked, and tweeted our way through the campus (to keep my husband and family in the loop), my daughter knew this was the one. The joy in her face and voice can still choke me up. And all I could think of was “I can’t believe this is the one Frank missed after going all over the East Coast.”

I told her, “You have to call your father and explain to him how this feels to you. Texting is not enough”

And I’m not even kidding, because of myCharge she could. Snapchat can kill a battery.

She dialed her dad for an actual conversation which is almost like spotting a unicorn except more rare.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And they talked . . .

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 And talked.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Because we had the battery power, her Dad was able to share in the magical moment, I was able to take pictures of the whole thing, we were able to continue using Google maps to get us around, and we both never missed a beat on social media. Did I mention my daughter and I both fully charged our phones off of a single HubPlus charge??

But enough about us! Let’s talk about what you can get! If you’re a US resident you can enter to win your own iPad mini and HubPlus! We’ve been talking about all that it has done for us phone-wise–like extending talk time by a whooping 45 hours–but this baby is so powerful it can charge an iPad! And no cords to lose! The wall prongs, micro-USB cable, and Apple® Lightning™ cable are all fully integrated. And one of our favorite features is the pass through charging. You can plug this into the wall, plug in your device and the powerbank and connected device will charge simultaneously. We never knew how much this was missing from our lives until MyCharge introduced us to it.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. myCharge HubPlus can help. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you don’t win the giveaway or unable to enter because you’re not a US resident, you can still come out on top.

Go here to myCharge, enter promo code CONGRATS and receive 40% off your very own HubPlus! (The code is valid until the end of June 2016.) There is free shipping on all orders over $25. These would make swell graduation or Father’s Day gifts!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck and stay in touch!

Ellen and Erin

We were compensated for this post, but all love for our college kids and this product are genuinely our own.

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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Inspirational Quotes for Graduates That Aren’t Cheesy

Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

It’s the season for endings, for new beginnings, and for change. It’s the season for both reflecting on the past and embracing the future. It’s the season for . . . graduation speeches galore. Nothing centers a speech—or even a graduation card sentiment—like a good quote, but enough with the “reach for the stars” and the “follow your dreams.”

Follow the road less traveled and skip the Robert Frost quotes. Be the cool aunt who throws down some Game of Thrones or the Valedictorian who kicks off their speech with a little wisdom from the Terminator. We’ve done the research, now all you have to do is deliver the clever.

Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

-J. K. Rowling

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

-Will Rogers

Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

-Arthur Ashe

 

Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are . . . to everyone else, it’s just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on.

-Jerry Zucker

 

Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

-Bo Bennett

"Opportunity Dances With Those Who Are Already On The Dance Floor." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.

-Jackson Browne

"Do. Or do not. There is no try." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

-Yoda

"The harder you work, the luckier you get." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

-Gary Player

"Once you've accepted your flaws no one can use them against you." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Once you’ve accepted your flaws no one can use them against you.

-Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones

"Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.

-Arnold Schwarzenegger

We know we’ve hit a nice even ten, but we couldn’t resist just one more. Graduates or the graduate in your life might not appreciate it, but if you are of certain age, this will make you smile. Consider it our gift to you.

"When I was your age, we didn't have the Internet in our pants. We didn't even have the Internet not in our pants. That's how bad it was." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 When I was your age, we didn’t have the Internet in our pants. We didn’t even have the Internet not in our pants. That’s how bad it was.

-Dick Costolo

-Ellen and Erin

Want some more reading about graduation?

Ten Things I Want to Say to My Son Before He Graduates

Graduation got you a little verklempt? 10 Things to Say Before They Graduate

 

Advice for My Daughter as She Graduates

Advice for my daughter as she graduates

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But we will have none of that gobbledygook about “competent at many, but master of none” because we rock just about everything. We’re moms, it’s what we do . . . buuuuttttttt . . . do we really have to rock them all by ourselves? Clearing the sink of dishes or scooping the litter box is not high level functioning.

And sure we support the hard party line of giving our kids responsibilities, but you know when the chips are down, the laundry is piling up, and the lunches still need to be packed, mom is the last line of defense.

So what’s a mom to do? Take a deep breath, repeat the mantra “it’s lovely to be needed,” and have a laugh at your own expense. Here, we’ll help you with thirteen spot-on-laughing-through-the-tears mom jobs we all can relate to.

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Labor Union President

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Homeland Security

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Estate Manager

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Groundskeeper

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Short Order CookBeing a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

IT Specialist

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Editor-in-Chief

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Distribution Specialist

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Interior Decorator

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Uber Driver

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Timekeeper

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Supply Manager

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Judge and Jury

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

What would you add?

 

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms

As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. Time spent scrolling the internet instead of soaking up Sunshine’s every little ray can never be recouped. Um, by that logic any and every job would make you a bad parent. So there’s that . . . but we’re also pushing back with this: blogging actually has the power to make you an even better parent. Just soak that up for a minute.

If there was such a thing as a parenting genie who would grant our wishes with a rub of a magical sippy cup, we would ask for two things: a mystical rear view mirror and a telescope into the future. With the rear view mirror we could relive those fleeting childhood moments of chubby knees and downy heads. With the telescope, we could gaze into that fuzzy future to see how our every parenting decision impacts our children’s growth into adults. But we don’t need magic because we have something better: blogging! Unconvinced? Let us present our case.

As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Improves our Time Management

All parents know time is THE hot commodity. Learning how to use those precious minutes wisely is a better gift to the whole family than a subscription to Netflix (although our kids might not immediately agree). Like most mothers, our schedules were jam-packed . . . and then we decided to blog. The idea of shoehorning a new job into our already overflowing schedules seemed crazy. Right?! Dash away visions of abandoned children sacrificed at the Temple of Blogdom because a miracle happened! Budgeting our time for writing and promotion spurred us to mindfully carve out minutes for what matters most, and to put our phones down during those moments.

2. Develops Us into Better Role Models

Good parenting is telling kids what to do. Better parenting is modeling it. We talk a good talk with our kids about taking advantageous risks to put themselves out there, but it wasn’t until we started blogging that we put the proverbial money where our pie holes are. Putting our words, beliefs, and advice out there for the world to see—and critique—takes a fair amount of hitching up our big girl britches. Blogging makes us doers, not just preachers.

3. Expands Our Horizons

Stepping outside our comfort zone was one thing, but launching into different time zones was unexpected gravy. Conferences and summits and advocacy, oh my! Blogging is not about isolation, but opening up the world in a whole new way. We’ve gotten lost on our way to yoga in Chicago, promoted a foundation in Atlanta, spoken about podcasting in Baltimore, and advocated for global vaccines on Capitol Hill.

Acting as Shot@Life Champions | As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Acting as Shot@Life Champions

Don’t start lamenting over our precious little ones left behind. They have actually gotten to tag along on some occasions, been sponsored by our employer to go to a leadership conference, and have been published on a sponsor’s website. Not too shabby.

4. Introduces Us to New Things

Social media may conjure up visions of moms staring at their phones while their kids beg “hey Ma, look at me!” from the monkey bars, but we found that blogging and the attendant social media required, blasted open a window into our kids’ worlds. We were beyond savvy before any of our kids even asked for an Instagram account. The social media boot camp gave us some serious parenting stripes.

5. Gives Us Time to Reflect

Never underestimate the power of the pause. The discipline of writing weekly means we are also processing our lives as parents each week: the good, the bad, and the disappointing. Our blog is not about cute kid stories, but focuses on analyzing our experiences on the parenting crazy train. This “pause button” has prompted us to actually reset our practices at times because no job needs chances for a do-overs quite like parenting.

6. Introduces Us to New Friends

Yes, we have friends in our computers. Yes, we’re sure they’re not trolls of the 50-year-old unshaven Limp Bizkit fan variety because we’ve actually met them. Our internet tribe has some of the most intelligent and kind-hearted women you would ever be lucky enough to have in your corner–professionally and personally. Wherever our kids decide to attend college, they will be within thirty minutes of a blogger friend—no, a surrogate mother. You can’t buy that kind of peace of mind.

BlogU Conference | As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Some friends at the BlogU NickMom Prom

7. Gives Us New Ways to Talk to Our Kids

Want to talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol with your kid? Of course you don’t. But if you have a writing deadline, suddenly you can broach touchy topics with very little preamble. Our kids are conditioned to respond without flinching to questions like “Hey, I need to write an article about kids and alcohol, come talk to me!” or “Hey, do you know anyone who abuses cough syrup?”

Interviews notwithstanding, our kids retain rights to their stories and hold the right to veto us sharing them. Our writers’ hearts hurt for the tales we can’t tell, but these discussions stress the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries between private and public lives. For a generation cutting their teeth on social media, and for their moms who need to keep up, this is the greatest prize of all.

8. Encourages Us to Model Good Friendships

We were friends before we were business partners, but blogging took our friendship to a new place. That new place was the world of compromise and generosity. While we think the United Nations would appreciate our skills in diplomacy and cooperation, we know our kids are learning from them every day.

9. Gives Our Kids Fodder for Their Own Memoirs

Our blog is not a baby book, but it is peppered with memories that will last as long as their digital footprint (as long as we keep paying our website hosting bill). In the final analysis, we hope our kids see that blogging is another way we share our experiences not just with each other or the internet, but with them.

10. Gives Us Another Dimension 

Hear that noise? It’s us roaring. We’re proudly showing our kids what women can achieve.  We have become coders, graphic designers, speakers, advocates, and parenting experts. We’re professionals who have learned to negotiate and put a fair price on what we’re worth as we cobble together an income. Blogging has prodded us to lean all the way in.

2014 Baltimore Listen to Your Mother Cast | As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We were so happy to be a part of the 2014 Baltimore Listen to Your Mother Cast

So basically, blogging has made us happier, more skilled, and more greatly fulfilled moms. To flip that annoying saying to the positive: everybody knows if momma’s happy then everybody’s happy.

The evidence is clear. We rest our case.

Ellen and Erin

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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How to Create a Carpool

If you’ve got school-age kids, chances are extremely good they’re involved in sports. If you have more than one child, yeah, those practice schedules and games are NEVER going to weave together in copacetic harmony. Unless you have a chauffeur, a nanny, or a flux capacitor to split yourself in two, you’re going to need a carpool. And if you do have the luxury of a staff or a futuristic gizmo, what the hell are you doing here reading this advice? Go get yourself a nap, a merlot, and a pedicure.

In the land of youth sports, it’s the luck of the draw who you get to hang with for the season. Chances are they won’t be your dear friends, but you need to swim in the pool you paid for, so to speak. The kicker? You’re floating in a sea of strangers when you’ve never needed help more. When older brother has to get to fencing, your Pele-in-the-making needs to get to the play-offs two towns over, dad is trapped at work . . . in Dhubai, and the cat is puking out its pancreas, you need someone to have your back. A carpool takes this situation from doomed to doable by at least taking Pele to soccer. You’re on your own with the hurling feline.

The secret to the carpool is to choose wisely and develop it early.

How to Create a Carpool | Got kids in sports? You need to create a carpool! Tips to put together your own sanity saver because friends don't let friends drive both ways to practice two days in a row! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Preparation starts at home. The first practice is not the time to be rocking your best boots, manicure, and perfect blow-out. It makes you look like you don’t really need the help. If you’re self-sufficient, then rock it out, Sister, but if you do need help, you might want to dial down the mom glam for now.

But don’t let the pendulum swing too far the other way. Holey pajama pants and grungy slippers gives off the impression you feed your kids PopTarts for dinner, your entire family is sharing one towel, and most importantly, you don’t have your shizz together enough to transport someone else’s precious babies. Remember, the carpool is all about reciprocity. Aim for approachable–best yoga pants, snazzy top, and neat ponytail. We’re not suggesting being Ms. Fakety-Fake, just don’t let it all hang out until, let’s say, practice six.

2. Get to the first practice early. With carpooling, safety comes first. Watch the other parents roll up in the parking lot. If a driver doesn’t at least slow down to 5 mph before opening those minivan sliding doors to eject her spawn, then you might want to mark her off the potential chauffeur list.

3. Follow the herd. When everyone is sitting together like ducks in a row, line your chair up too. If the group decides that selling blood is the best way to pay for the team’s new warm-ups, roll up a sleeve and offer a vein. On second thought, you may want to run, but in most cases now is not the time to be the Lone Ranger. Your kid’s not the only one who joined the team. Every time you make an effort, you’re upping your carpool potential.

4. Start chatting parents up to see where they live. Carpooling only makes your life easier if it doesn’t take you a tank of gas to take the extra darlings home. Try not to be creepy scoping out addresses, though. If you feel like you can’t ask where someone lives without being awkward enough to trigger a background check, work that smartphone. Take a picture of the team and show it to your potential carpool comrade, “Look how cute they are!” If she just grunts, consider the screening process successful and move on from that dud. If she coos, say, “Hey, are you on Facebook? I could tag you in it.” If you become friends on Facebook, you are golden! You not only have access to location, you can make sure they don’t participate in demonic goat square dancing . . . or at least they’re discreet enough not to post about it.

WARNING: Do not scroll through and “Like” every one of her pictures once she friends you because you’ll be taking a hard left into Creepytown. Remember, you were trying to avoid that?

5. Work your kid. Carpooling will go a whole lot smoother if you correlate your connections with your kid’s buddies. Don’t fall into the trap of setting up a carpool with the second baseman who wipes his boogers on your son’s bat. Building friendships is not just good for crafting carpools, it’s good for your child, too. You may not want to hear it, but nothing builds friendships faster than sleepovers: buck up and send out an invite. Just make sure your bathrooms are clean and you remember to feed the kids. Passing out bananas for dinner doesn’t put you at the top of any carpool lists.

6. Be the carpool member you want to attract. Offer to help a mom you see in distress, carry that über fantastic first aid kit so you can save the day, create the hang-out spot for the kids on your snazzy waterproof picnic blanket, hand puppies out from the back of a van . . . wait, scratch that last one. Heading into Creepytown again. Just be a team player.

7. Send up a flare. If subtle action fails, don’t be afraid to beg. In fact, lay out your situation in an email or just work it into a conversation during that 3 hours on the sidelines. It’s time to tamp down that pride, put on your big girl panties, and ask for exactly what you need. The people who respond when they know your chips are down are just the type of people you want in your life anyway.

Bottom line:  Carpools are the secret of experienced moms for making all these extracurriculars possible. So hitch up your britches, get out there and make a carpool buddy today! You may not only save your sanity, but you may make some forever friends. Remember: Friends don’t let friends drive both ways to practice two days in a row!

How to Create a Carpool | Got kids in sports? You need to create a carpool! Tips to put together your own sanity saver because friends don't let friends drive both ways to practice two days in a row! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

-Ellen and Erin

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Yes! Junior Year of High School is Stressful!

Yes! Junior year of high school is stressful, maybe the most stressful of them all. Here's what's going on and what to do about it. | Teens | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

You think you remember high school well. Those growing pains, that distinctly angsty angst, those teeming hormones–those memories should be burned into your gray matter, right? Well, we thought so too until we were blindsided by how stressful our kids’ junior years were. Our fuzzy teen spirit memories had us focused on the apprehension of freshman year and the roller coaster college anxiety of senior year. Thanks for nothing hard won experience. We forgot that to even get to senior year, you have to survive the juggernaut of the junior year where the social, academic, and personal trials and tribulations of adolescence multiply and pile up with crushing ferocity. Here’s what’s going on.

First and foremost: “This is the most important year of your high school career!!”

This is pretty much how the school year tees off for a junior. Their guidance counselor is talking about grades, their friends are talking about prom and driver’s licenses, their coach is talking about play-offs. The prevalent soundtrack is THIS IS THE YEAR COLLEGES ARE LOOKING AT!  So really, no pressure. But at least the trips to the guidance office to work out their dreams are scheduled in the middle of the calculus class they’re struggling through.

Every well-meaning adult transforms into an FBI interrogator.

“So what are you going to do?” becomes the opener to every. single. conversation. Most people mean well, but it truly is astounding how many really get in there and poke where the anxiety lives. “Wow, engineering, huh? You really need perfect math scores on the SAT to get into a good school. Are you taking a prep class?” When they’re not sure of their plans themselves, every random person’s needling can cause them to pop. Our “Life Lesson: Toxic Questions Don’t Need to Be Answered” can give some much needed strategies for dealing with all of this.

Harder classes, including Advanced Placement and college credit courses start weighing down the schedule. 

Many a kid has breezed through the first two years of high school only to get a jolt when junior year hits. Suddenly, syllabi are handed out and hand-holding is abruptly withdrawn. There’s something about a looming national AP test that is not just for a grade, but for college credit (and comparison to the entire country) that can trigger those un-held hands to be slicked with sweat.

Speaking of standardized tests, PSAT, SAT, and ACT anyone?

It starts in October with the PSAT which–no pressure–if they qualify to be a National Merit Scholar can mean major money from colleges. And then it’s onto the SAT or the ACT . . . or both. “When should I take it? How many times? Do I need both? Should I take a prep class??”

Oh and may the servers not have a hissy fit and delay score reporting like it did for some of our kids. But wait, there’s one more thing: the SAT is all new. Yeah, this is the stress that keeps on stressing.

It’s the big leagues, baby.

Junior year is often the time sports transitions from JV to varsity. The practices are longer, the games are more intense, and playoffs are a huge deal. So in general, just when they have more studying and huge-decide-your-future standardized tests piled onto their plates, that plate has to sit on the sidelines waiting for their games to be done. And if your child is a prospect for playing in college? Whoa.

Driving.

Driving school is not what we remember, like you know, actually getting taught by an instructor. No, WE had to teach our kids to drive. The driving school demanded an insane amount of hours before they would even let our kids into THEIR cars. We wrote about our stress here, but it was no picnic (or rather Sunday drive) for our kids either. And let’s not forget the anxiety of the driving test to get the actual license. Actually, that is the one thing we can remember clearly. In our mind’s eye, we can see the sweat dripping down the steering wheel now . . .

Social uproar.

Ninth and tenth grades are basically the JV of the social scene because reliance on parents for transportation puts a natural damper on things. In junior year, it all ramps up with the increased independence that comes with a driver’s license.

Juniors are also let into the kingdom of upperclassman dances and parties which means they’re also let into the realm of all the things that keeps parents up all night worrying. And what worries you–sex, drugs, and alcohol–worries them too. Making decisions under the crush of peer pressure is a lot to wrestle with. We have a slew of posts on these subjects to help: How to Protect Your Teen Driver, How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex, How to Stop Teen From Abusing OTC Cough Medicine, How to Talk to Your Kids About Dating, Picture a Great Conversation with Your Teen.

And one last gripe that grips: promposals. Can you believe modern society actually found a way to make prom even more stressful?

Diverging friendships.

All this social pressure and making plans for the future can suddenly make some friendships, even longstanding ones, an uncomfortable fit. Friendships become less about sharing the latest video game and more about who they are as people. Even in the best case scenario where your child (thankfully) lets some friends go to stay on a straighter and narrower path, it still hurts to be left out. Pile losing their best friend since 4th grade onto the stress bonfire and you all have yourselves a four alarm fire.

Soooo, does this all sound too familiar? It’s not just you and your kid struggling through junior year. It’s incredibly and universally stressful leaving moms and dads everywhere just wanting to help their kids out. What’s a parent to do?

First, keep the lines of communication open. Take a hike, take a drive, or whatever you need to do to free up some time to talk. Don’t worry, we have some tips on How To Get Conversations With Your Kids Rolling.

And we have even more specific advice in our 10 Survival Tips for College Prep Stress.

10 Survival Tips for College Prep Stress

Always know you’re not in the trenches alone and our families have actually found senior year to be rather great.

-Ellen and Erin

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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Why Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge is Perfect for Teens

Where you choose to stay for your Disney vacation sets the tone for your whole trip. We have always stayed on Disney properties for the amenities like Extra Magic Hours, getting to choose FastPasses 60 days out, and complimentary parking.

In the past we have stayed at The Contemporary, The Polynesian, The Caribbean Beach Resort, and The Swan. (We try not to rub it in with the kids, but my hubs and I have also stayed at The Boardwalk and The Beach Club Resort.) For my family’s fifth trip to Disney we finally stayed at The Animal Kingdom Lodge.

First of all, we LOVED it and secondly, I am so glad we waited until the kids were teens to stay there. The Animal Kingdom Lodge had always come up when we were discussing resorts, but we always passed on it because it is so much farther out than the other options and it is only serviced by WDW buses. When your kids are little you only have so many “good” minutes awake . . . and let’s not forget naps. We never wanted to waste time on traveling back and forth from the hotel. And honestly, the monorail was just as much of an attraction for our kids as the teacups. It was a fabulous way to start and end each day.

But for our past trip, our girls were 14 and 17 years old so we thought, “Why not? The animals will be cool.” Plus, The Polynesian Resort was all booked. Thank goodness for this happenstance because there is so much about the Animal Kingdom Lodge that makes it perfect for teens.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. It Complements Teen Sleep Patterns

Teen night owl behavior is great for taking advantage of late Extra Magic Hours, but unless you want growling adolescents on your hands, you’re probably going to be missing those rope drops. Because we booked a savanna view room, I had wonderful entertainment watching the animals while I waited for my kids and husband to get up. Sitting on my balcony with a cup of coffee (and my FastPasses already loaded on my MagicBand),  I didn’t feel like I was missing out on one bit of Disney magic.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

See? They eventually got up.

The breakfast buffet hours at one of the on-site restaurants, Boma, were pretty accommodating too: 7:30 am to 11:00 am. Even if you’re not an early bird, you can still get the Mickey waffle.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

2. Speaking of Sleeping

The Animal Lodge is one of the few Disney Resorts where you can get bunk beds. Separate sleep spaces can go a long way toward keeping the peace between siblings.

Bunk Beds | Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

3. And Speaking of the Night

So I already mentioned the animals, but did I mention you can view them at night? Long after the little ones have been tucked in, Disney offers a night safari from 10:00 pm until 11:00 pm exclusively for guests of the Animal Kingdom Lodge and Villas. If the $70.00 per person safari price tag feels a little step for you after shelling out the dollars all day long, you can use the free night vision goggles at the public savannas overlooks located throughout the lodge. How cool is that? Check at the front desk for times, location, and availability of night vision viewing.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I couldn’t take a picture through the night vision goggles, but here are some giraffes at dusk.

4. The Tastes Might Be Lost on Younger Kids.

By the time your kids have reached double digits, they may be ready for some culinary adventures. If your teens want to dive into African-inspired cuisine, Jiko will leave them feeling like they traveled around the world. If they just want to take a taste or two of African flavors with things like roasted turkey as a back-up, the buffet at Boma will be more their speed.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. Teens Can Appreciate the Decor and the Art

There is no cartoon feel in this deluxe resort. The lobby is richly decorated with African art displayed everywhere. While your teen might rush past that gorgeous mask on the first day, I guarantee you he might notice it on the third day. And even if the art is lost on them, they’ll still appreciate the fireplace, and the availability of the conversation areas and overlooks when the togetherness in the room gets to be a wee bit too much.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The expansive lobby.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This is actually a ceremonial mask.

6. Fantastic  Pools

The Uzima pool is an 11,000 square foot tropical oasis. The large size, zero depth entry, and bounty of lounge chairs means teens can find space away from the splashing little ones . . . unless they care to take a go at the 67-foot-long water slide. Then it’s every kid for himself.

Staying at a Disney property has all kinds of benefits, but here's why Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge is perfect for teens. | Family Travel | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

One last thing. We still couldn’t get over that the only means of Disney transportation from The Lodge is buses. We rented a car at the airport and drove quite a bit from our hotel to the various parks. With the way the buses ran at the end of the night, we were glad we had the car as an option. Just something to consider.

One last last thing! Don’t forget your binoculars! Animal watching is better with them.

Happy Disney-ing!

Ellen 

 

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Talking Politics with Friends



Talking Politics with Friends: The art of talking policies, plans, and ideologies seems to be on life support. It doesn't have to be that way. | Life experience | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

In this election year, the art of talking politics, policies, plans, and ideologies seems to be on life support. Name-calling and mudslinging are the opening volleys to “discussions” that are frequently ended with broad brushstrokes like “All Republicans/Democrats are insert-your-go-to-insult-here.”

Why are opposing opinions met with such venom? Take a moment to think about it. We mean really think about the end game. Do we want everyone to agree with us? There can’t be checks and balances if everyone is kumbaya-ing, and that can lead to some scary ideas breeding and gaining momentum.

Would it surprise you that we align along different party lines? That we have discussions and disagreements, yet we still run a business together and maintain a friendship? We’re going to guess, or at least hope, you’re not that surprised at all. We know sensible discussions have to be taking place around the kitchen tables and fire pits of America far away from the click bait media headlines and sensational commercials.

So which parties are printed on Erin and Ellen’s voter registration cards? You’ll have to click over to the podcast because we gathered around the microphone to have our own conversation.

What else do we discuss?

Happy listening! But beyond listening, we welcome your opinions. We have started a Facebook Group so that you can not only hear our conversations, but be a part of them. Click here to join.

-Ellen and Erin

Find us on iTunes! Listen to us on Android! We like the Podcast Addict App. Or click here to see a catalog of all of our episodes! Follow our podcast board on Pinterest where we pin our episodes!

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How to Know if a Cut Needs Stitches


In a quandary about whether or not to head to urgent care? How to know if a cut needs stitches: a helpful guide to help you evaluate the situation. | Health | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

In case you’re new here, an important piece of introductory information is that I have my M.D. I use it for everything . . . except making money. Another important thing to know is that I walked away from the career because it was not a good fit for me; I was not asked to leave. I was actually pretty good. Just ask my friends because they ask me for medical advice ALL OF THE TIME.

I studied and trained at the University of Maryland Medical System giving me extensive surgical, emergency, and Shock Trauma experiences you can only get in Baltimore. The first time I sutured another human being was during my first day in the pediatric emergency room as a third year student. It was a little boy who had a gash on his finger. I actually sweated through my scrubs during the millennium it took me to place the five sutures. There was seriously a puddle on my stainless steel stool. But that sweet boy rewarded me with words I still cherish today: “You’re a really good doctor.” Kids sure can lift you up, that is, when they’re not busy taking you down.

Since that time, I’ve logged in many hours of wound evaluation and care. You get to benefit from this experience to determine if you need to giddy-up to urgent care.

In a quandary about whether or not to head to urgent care? How to know if a cut needs stitches: a helpful guide to help you evaluate the situation. | Health | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

 

Criteria for Stitches

  • The wound will not stop bleeding
  • It is deeper than ¼ inch
  • The edges are ragged
  • The wound is gaping (the edges aren’t together)

Additionally, seek medical attention if . . .

  • The wound  is a puncture deeper than ¼ inch
  • The injury resulted from a rusty or very dirty object
  • All of the debris can’t be removed from the cut or abrasion
  • The wound is on the face or neck
  • There was a blow to the head or any loss of consciousness
  • The wound is an animal or human bite
  • Date of last tetanus shot is unknown
  • You have a history of MRSA
  • Signs of infection develop such as redness and pus

Wound Care  for Treating Minor Cuts

  • To stop bleeding, apply gentle pressure with a clean cloth or bandage for at least 15 minutes. (Maxi pads are excellent for this, by the way.) This will seem like FOREVER, but don’t lift the compress! You’ll really need to time yourself to hold pressure long enough. Trust me. If possible, raise the body part above the level of the heart to slow bleeding. Never apply a tourniquet unless advised by a medical professional.
  • Rinse wound thoroughly with clean water or saline solution to remove dirt and debris. DO NOT use hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol because they are damaging to cells and may increase scarring.
  • Clean area around the wound area with soap and water on a washcloth. Avoid getting soap in wound initially because it will burn. Pat dry with a clean cloth.
  • Apply a thin layer of antibiotic ointment and cover with a clean dressing. Keep the wound covered while healing. Contrary to popular belief, letting a cut “air out” does not promote healing and may increase scarring.

It is always a good idea to have a complete first-aid kit in your car and your home. You may think you don’t need a kit because you have all the supplies in your home, but by having a kit, you can just tell someone where to grab it while you are holding pressure or calling 911. I always like to have instant cold compresses, rolled gauze, and a large absorbent abdominal pad in mine. I like the one pictured below from Amazon because of the organized compartments and the comprehensive inventory of supplies. I just added a small flashlight, a lighted magnifying glass, tick removal tool, and duct tape.

first aid kit amazon

Be Safe Out There Friends!

-Ellen 

*No portion of this article is intended to replace the advice of your medical professional. It is always a good idea to check with your doctor.

You can follow us on Google+, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

 

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