Category Archives: Our Talks Revisited

Most Dangerous Time of the Year in a Pool: Tips to Swim Safe

-Erin

It’s the most dangerous time of the year in a pool. Stay #swim #safe this #summer Some tips!

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Perfectly Imperfect is the New Black

Exhibit A:

Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

When non-crafty people have delusions of grandeur

Exhibit B:

Sometimes even simple snacks are simply too much.

Exhibit C:

Sometimes brown thumbed girls get a little ahead of themselves and plant a tree in the name of family bonding

But lucky for us (and YOU!), we found a group of friends who are laughing with us, not just at us. That’s why we are so excited to be part of a new anthology that’s all about the art of being perfectly imperfect. Jen Mann of the People I Want to Punch in the Throat blog masterminded this anthology. She has books on the New York Times bestseller list, so we basically begged to be included. With 37 funny stories about women who have tried—and failed—to achieve perfection, we know you won’t just love it but laugh your way through it too. Better yet, we know you will feel like you have found the “little black dress” of motherhood. This book fits just right and makes us feel great! We want to carry it with us everywhere! We know you will too!

You can order your very own copy to carry everywhere.

I Just Want to Be Perfect (I Just Want to Pee Alone Book 4)

Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms So feel free to order a copy of the book, either paperback or Kindle, and leave a review if you really want to be a pal. It’s a great book for the bottom of your beach bag and will make you laugh (we promise!) whether you are chilling by the pool, hitting the beach, or shuttling kids to camp. In fact, one could argue it’s the perfect accessory for wherever you’ll be hanging out this summer. Looking for a great summer read? Check out this great book that explores motherhood and all its perfectly imperfect parts. #IJWTBP | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Thank you as always for reading!

-Erin and Ellen

Need a great #summer read? Check out our new #book! #IJWTBP

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7 Things You Can Do to Get a Kid Ready for College

1. Ride the wave.

Let yourself and your kid feel whatever you need to feel. Pride, joy, a sense of loss, apprehension, even grief—all of these emotions might bubble up. Or not. You are an individual and so is your kid. Just like there is no real compass for how to handle sending your kid off into the great blue yonder we call The College Years, there is no one right way to feel about them leaving either. You can’t help yourself from wanting a way to navigate the vast sea of unknowns and unknowables, but you can help you and yours by being honest about where you are and what you are feeling.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Are you gonna be able to muster a thumbs up? Or a mopey hug? Either way, it’s OK.

2. Ask for help.

As in all things in parenting, reach out to the those who have traveled this road before, either virtually or in real time. We have made a great booklist to help you, but don’t dismiss the value of the internet and great posts like this one about how to send your firstborn son to college or this perfect guide to college. Sometimes, the short, sweet observations from the road ahead will be just what you need when you need it. Similarly, we think of the ladies over at Grown and Flown as our internet big sisters on this road. They have great posts about nearly every aspect of this next phase of life. Of course, we have a short and simple guide for how you can help your girlfriend send her kid to college too. The bottom line? For some things like sending your kid to college there is no way to go but through it. Just know that you don’t have go it alone.

3. Create a space to come home to.

Special traditions can be a pain with all the planning, time, and expense, but every time Erin made her husband tape up a pinata for Cinco de Mayo or order special treats for their Doctor Who party, she said the same thing: “Kids come home for stuff like this.” We both always wanted to create our own little country that my kids would want to keep visiting. We invested in experiences over things and hoped that not having a pony would pale in comparison to all the happy memories we made. Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

4. Be honest about what you need.

All we parents really want is to have a good relationship with our kids especially as they move up and out. But an 18 year old’s ideas of what that entails differs wildly from his parent’s. Between texting, Facetime, Skype, and Snapchat, there is no end to the ways to stay connected as the miles between you stretch, but a good relationship requires open and honest communication, not just easy access. Tell your kid what you want but tread lightly. Even if you asked him to call you every Sunday, don’t nail him when he doesn’t. Text often and leave the lines of communication open. Then when he goes radio silent on you, hopefully, it won’t be for too long.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. Sit on hands, close mouth, open ears.

Active parenting is over, but actual parenting is not. It is so much easier to say than do, but plan to listen 90% of the time and only offer advice when asked. Young adults need to wrestle through decisions and make their own conclusions. If you want to be the sounding board, start acting like one.

6. Set goals and make clear expectations.

Things are gonna get awkward. Someone called freshmen “high schoolers who happen to be in college. ” Your child and his peers won’t have all the life skills figured out by October. Being honest about what they can expect, what we expect, and what we want for them and what they want for themselves will do much to create a positive relationship this year. It’s also a good time to mention that college is not a magical place of unicorns and rainbows. These years are also hard work, crappy roommate drama, and bad food. There are plenty of goods to outweigh the bad, but it’s life and if it’s crappy sometimes, that’s ok today.

Parenting a teen after high school? Here are 7 Things You Can Do to get a Kid Ready for College | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

7. Be flexible.

An open heart and an open mind won’t just benefit everyone, it will make this parenting an adult thing a smoother transition. Vow to be open to talking about your own college experience as well as to hearing that his isn’t great. Vow to ask open-ended questions as well as be ready for answers that you aren’t ready for. Vow to let her follow her own path and to check your own stuff.

You CAN do this!

You are about to have one of those summers that can’t be captured in a postcard or photograph. The emotional roller coaster and the super warp speed time travel may be disorienting and draining. But remember: this new hard thing called college may not be as unfamiliar as you might have thought. A lot of this summer is really just getting ready, physically and emotionally. You will need to outfit the perfect college dorm and find bargains to make it all affordable. Let these last steps together bolster your resolve and boost your confidence. You didn’t get through the last eighteen years of parenting without knowing how to rock a back-to-school list. You can do this. You HAVE done this. This can be done. Sending a kid to college may not be as easy as checking off boxes, but it’s just the next phase in this parenting ride you are on with your child. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

-Erin and Ellen

Got a #teen #grad? 7 Things You Can Do to Get a Kid Ready for #College

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How to Stay Connected with Your College Kid

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We are on a wild ride here at The Sisterhood: The Express Chute to College. It goes from 0 to 600 without any brakes, takes surprise hairpin switchbacks that leave your disoriented for days, swings your emotions from elation to heartbreak on the turn of a dime, and grinds your bank account until it physically hurts . . . but we wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. It’s a blessing, but, oh my goodness, it’s exhausting. Between the two of us, we’ll be on this ride so long we may need a rehabilitation program to adjust us to life without SATs and submitting the Common Application on the regular.

Just so you can be sure to follow along on your scorecard, Erin has five kids–four sons and one daughter–and Ellen has two daughters. Erin kicked this party off by sending her oldest son to college last year, Ellen sends her oldest daughter away in August, Erin follows up the next year with her daughter, then we both get a two year break until “Boom!” Erin sends another son while Ellen sends her youngest daughter for a double graduation year. But wait, there’s more! Literally. Erin has two more sons.

And we’re not going to sugarcoat it, it’s hard adjusting to the shifting dynamics of your family. You almost feel like you need a guide. Luckily Erin wrote one: Handle with Care: A Sweet and Simple Guide to Helping Your Friend Send Her Kid to College. If you need some commiseration or direction, this is it.

But just to cut to the chase, there is one lifeline that will trump all others. Staying connected. We’ve written oodles of advice about keeping the lines of communication open with your kids, BUT . . .

Sometimes it’s not about leaving yourself open to their ideas and opinions.

Sometimes it’s not about leaving your own agenda behind and following their lead.

Sometimes it’s not about keeping your mouth shut and your ears open.

SOMETIMES IT’S ONLY ABOUT THEM HAVING A CHARGE ON THEIR EVERLOVIN’ PHONE WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK TO YOU.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Seriously. Sometimes it’s that simple. And what is simply wonderful is that this is one of those moments where blogging has made our parenting easier and better. We have been lucky enough to partner with myCharge several times over the past couple of years, but this time they really came through for us by gifting us the myCharge HubPlus 6000mAh. (By the way, we’re able to gift you with a 40% off coupon code and a chance to win an iPad mini and a HubPlus of your very own, but more on that in a bit, also known as “at the bottom of the post.”)

We’re not even kidding when we say myCharge gave Erin one of the best conversations of her life.

Erin: Since my son went to school 300 miles away, texting has been our connection. There have been some calls and Face Time with the whole family boisterously talking over top of each other as is the dog pile M.O of the Dymowski clan, but calls between just my boy and me have been few and far between. Until The Call.

I hadn’t shared an actual conversation with him since our good-byes as he went back to school after winter break. So while I was pleasantly surprised when HE called me out of the blue, my first words were a panicky “Is everything ok? Are you bleeding?” But he babbled right over my initial nervous blurt, we bantered a little, and then he talked NON-STOP for the better part of an hour. It was Christmas in April, a ticker tape parade, and perfect haircut all rolled up in one! I heard all about his summer internship (which I knew nothing about), his new girlfriend (who I sort of knew about. Thank you, Instagram feed!), his classes (which his sister said were kicking his butt), and his work on the television and radio stations there (which I watched or listened to each week). Never underestimate the power of real spoken words in real time over the airwaves to warm a Mom’s heart and keep the connection going strong.

How to Stay Connected With Your College Kid | How do you stay connected with your child across the miles? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This picture with myCharge was posed when I picked my boy up from school, but the moment myCharge gave me with my son was 100% authentic. We call this one: Call your mother!

Ellen: And remember those hairpin switchbacks we were talking about on The Express Chute to College? My family was thrown for its own loop. Just eight days before a commitment had to be signed, we were visiting the University of Miami–an eleventh hour addition to the Common App. A school that was ultimately added because of its academics and opportunities, but was initially thought of because I asked my daughter to apply to a school in a city that was not a past terrorist target. See, the applications were due just weeks after the Paris bombings and her school choices were all located in either Boston, New York City, or Washington, DC.

So, Miami wasn’t the top choice–at that point, she was pretty set on Boston–so only my daughter and I went down because, well, airfare. But our trip seemed worthwhile from the get-go because our meetings with students and the assistant dean impressed us. And as we texted, snapchatted, instagrammed, facebooked, and tweeted our way through the campus (to keep my husband and family in the loop), my daughter knew this was the one. The joy in her face and voice can still choke me up. And all I could think of was “I can’t believe this is the one Frank missed after going all over the East Coast.”

I told her, “You have to call your father and explain to him how this feels to you. Texting is not enough”

And I’m not even kidding, because of myCharge she could. Snapchat can kill a battery.

She dialed her dad for an actual conversation which is almost like spotting a unicorn except more rare.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And they talked . . .

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And talked.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Because we had the battery power, her Dad was able to share in the magical moment, I was able to take pictures of the whole thing, we were able to continue using Google maps to get us around, and we both never missed a beat on social media. Did I mention my daughter and I both fully charged our phones off of a single HubPlus charge??

But enough about us! Let’s talk about what you can get! If you’re a US resident you can enter to win your own iPad mini and HubPlus! We’ve been talking about all that it has done for us phone-wise–like extending talk time by a whooping 45 hours–but this baby is so powerful it can charge an iPad! And no cords to lose! The wall prongs, micro-USB cable, and Apple® Lightning™ cable are all fully integrated. And one of our favorite features is the pass through charging. You can plug this into the wall, plug in your device and the powerbank and connected device will charge simultaneously. We never knew how much this was missing from our lives until MyCharge introduced us to it.

How to stay connected with your college kid? Modeling good listening skills is a must, but it may be as easy as making sure their phone is always charged. myCharge HubPlus can help. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you don’t win the giveaway or unable to enter because you’re not a US resident, you can still come out on top.

Go here to myCharge, enter promo code CONGRATS and receive 40% off your very own HubPlus! (The code is valid until the end of June 2016.) There is free shipping on all orders over $25. These would make swell graduation or Father’s Day gifts!

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Good luck and stay in touch!

Ellen and Erin

We were compensated for this post, but all love for our college kids and this product are genuinely our own.

You need this! Easy entry for a @myChargePower HubPlus and iPad mini! #giveaway

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Reader’s Guide to Parenting

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Short of a personal trainer, an industrial strength leash, a never empty coffee pot, and an ironclad agreement with the relatives to babysit every weekend, you know what would make this whole parenting thing a whole lot easier? A book or better yet a whole library to tell you what was coming and what to do once you got there. Motherhood doesn’t just change your pants size, your shoe size, and your selection at Victoria’s Secret, Motherhood changes EVERYTHING. And then it keeps on changing. ALL. THE. TIME. You will just get your parenting stride at a stage, and your little darling is sprinting on to the next one. So we took some inspiration from classic books and children’s books to mark some milestones of childhood for you. Think of this as the Cliff’s Notes Reader’s Guide to Parenting. Some fanfare, please . . .

1. War and Peace

The First Year

Now Erin has never actually read this book, but we heard that it concerns Russia. The title conjures what it feels like in the trenches of your first year with a new baby. It’s either bliss. . . or bombs raining down on you. Prepare to be delighted, completely decimated, and so deprived of sleep you could put on your husband’s underwear and think it’s your own or fall asleep mid-sentence. Not that either of these things has ever happened to either of us.

Looking for a short, sweet, simple guide to parenting? We found a whole library of books that provide a Cliff's Note primer to childhood that should make this whole motherhood gig a little easier | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

2. What Do People Do All Day?

The Second Year

Hope you like naming aloud everything you own, see, think, hear, feel, smell, flush down the toilet, etc. because that’s what baby likes. Oh, that’s not for me, you say, my kid’s just chillin’. Well, we say that clearly you have never been at the mercy of a newly mobile but vocabulary-limited tot. YET. They jonez for this stuff like miniature meth addicts cut off from their supplier. Buy every oversized, ridiculously detailed book you can find now to assuage the tiny beasts. Richard Scarry knows. He’s the toddler-whisperer.

Looking for a short, sweet, simple guide to parenting? We found a whole library of books that provide a Cliff's Note primer to childhood that should make this whole motherhood gig a little easier | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Oh, and they run. A lot. This is when they start the sprinting.

3. Where the Wild Things Are

The Third and Fourth Year AKA The Terrible/Terrific Twos and Threes

These kids are adorable but nuts with a little extra nutty on top. Every time we think back to when our houses were ruled by these fickle tyrants, there is a little catch in our throats. We do miss our ladies who dressed as princesses or ladybugs every day and our lads bedecked in boots and capes. But it’s a dog-eat-dog world in the Land of Tod and we’ll give you three guesses who’s their favorite meal. Come to think of it, Lord of the Flies works for this stage too.

4. Interrupting Chicken

The Funny Fabulous Fact-Filled Four Year Old

Erin is 100% convinced that she did not have her attention issues until she had to parent a 4 year old—FIVE TIMES! No sentences are finished, no thoughts completed, no work is done. The four year old runs the place like a miniature Napoleon or Attila the Hun and the only consistent thing he or she is serving up is questions. Note: When the 4 year old inevitably asks you where babies come from or why you and Daddy like to wrestle, deflect, defer, and lie your pants off. You have plenty of time to pay for future counseling.

5. Brave New World

Kindergarten

This stage marks the end of an era and the beginning of a new one, so all that sniffling and carrying on you’re going to do is totally justified. Your baby belongs to the great big world now. And it’s a beautiful, terrible, amazing, nauseating, wondrous sight to see.

6. The Call of the Wild

Early Elementary School

Seriously, kids at this age are powered by sheer force of will and their wily, wily ways. If we could harness it, we would solve the world’s energy needs. Oh, yeah, and they are full throttle without the benefit of forethought or reason. Invest in Band-Aids and mecurochrome and wine.

7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde

Late Elementary School

As a pre-cursor to the full-blown hormonal onslaught headed your way, Mother Nature gives you a little tapas of what’s to come. Honestly, a lot of the angst comes from having one foot in the Land of the Little Kid and the other in the Acreage of Adolescence, but that doesn’t mean that this stage isn’t sometimes going to keep you up at night or wrangling with each other during the day.

8. Something Wicked This Way Comes

Middle School

Too dramatic? Maybe, especially when we both actually enjoy our Middle Schoolers and Erin loves teaching this age group. But storms are a-comin’, so you need to be ready to ride them out when they come AND to enjoy the calm seas in between the blow-ups.

9. Catch-22

Early Teen

Your tongue might actually hurt from all the times you will hold it. Happy, successful parenting with teens is all about choosing your battles, so often times you may get caught in senseless, absurd situations. We’ll take those over the scary stuff that also sometimes comes with the teen years, but none of it is easy. And <sniff>, you do sense your time together is shortening.

10. Great Expectations

Late Teen

Your baby’s getting ready to spread his or her wings, so there is great talk about the future and plans and what happens next. It’s all exciting and scary and nothing at all like what you imagined when you started this journey, oh so many moons ago.

And you will wonder how you got here so fast.

And then you’ll remember. Oh, the sprinting.

jump

Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

-Erin and Ellen

Looking for a Cliff’s Notes version of this #motherhood gig? The Reader’s Guide to #Parenting!

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Inspirational Quotes for Graduates That Aren’t Cheesy

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Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

It’s the season for endings, for new beginnings, and for change. It’s the season for both reflecting on the past and embracing the future. It’s the season for . . . graduation speeches galore. Nothing centers a speech—or even a graduation card sentiment—like a good quote, but enough with the “reach for the stars” and the “follow your dreams.”

Follow the road less traveled and skip the Robert Frost quotes. Be the cool aunt who throws down some Game of Thrones or the Valedictorian who kicks off their speech with a little wisdom from the Terminator. We’ve done the research, now all you have to do is deliver the clever.

We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

-J. K. Rowling

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

-Will Rogers

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

-Arthur Ashe

Nobody else is paying as much attention to your failures as you are . . . to everyone else, it’s just a blip on the radar screen, so just move on.

-Jerry Zucker

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.

-Bo Bennett

"Opportunity Dances With Those Who Are Already On The Dance Floor." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.

-Jackson Browne

"Do. Or do not. There is no try." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

-Yoda

"The harder you work, the luckier you get." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The harder you work, the luckier you get.

-Gary Player

"Once you've accepted your flaws no one can use them against you." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Once you’ve accepted your flaws no one can use them against you.

-Tyrion Lannister, Game of Thrones

"Just remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Just remember, you can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets.

-Arnold Schwarzenegger

We know we’ve hit a nice even ten, but we couldn’t resist just one more. Graduates or the graduate in your life might not appreciate it, but if you are of certain age, this will make you smile. Consider it our gift to you.

"When I was your age, we didn't have the Internet in our pants. We didn't even have the Internet not in our pants. That's how bad it was." Nothing centers a speech, or even a graduation card sentiment, like a good quote, but enough with the "reach for the stars" and the "follow your dreams." Check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren't cheesy. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

When I was your age, we didn’t have the Internet in our pants. We didn’t even have the Internet not in our pants. That’s how bad it was.

-Dick Costolo

-Ellen and Erin

Skip Robert Frost and check out these inspirational quotes for graduates that aren’t cheesy.

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Want some more reading about graduation?

Ten Things I Want to Say to My Son Before He Graduates

Advice for My Daughter as She Graduates

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Check out our books, “I Just Want to Be Alone” and “You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth.”

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10 Things to Tell Your Kid Before High School

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If you are one of the many filling out high school course loads for next year, we know you have a laundry list of things to tell your kid before high school. But long before you get into the heavy conversations about expectations and goals, light years before the talks about peer pressure and all its attendant things, and eons before the conversations about college, first things first. Freshman year will work a morphing magic like no other on your sweet child. Even while your head knows that you are now looking up at your darling boy, your heart is gonna be slow to catch up. To avoid a nasty Tuesday morning kick in the feels from the Facebook Memory feature next year, it’s best to remember that kids sprint at extra zulu warp speed through this year. If you want to keep up, you have to be prepared.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

First reaction: deep down soul level joy. I mean, come on, this is GOLD. Second reaction: Dude, where did that baby boy go?

With this sprinting in mind, remember that the easy time you have shared up to now is about to shrink into fleeting, flashing moments too. High school busy is a whole new brand of busy and you won’t believe it until you are living it. But thanks to those pesky hormones, the moments you do have will not all be precious either. So as we just crossed two more kids over into high school, we thought we would share some of the things we talk about when we talk about high school. If you are crossing a kid over into high school, this might help you. Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. TV/Movie High School bears little resemblance to the actual halls you will walk for the next four years.

Our kids, and our girls in particular, feel that media has let them down. There are pressures for sure, but they are not so finely drawn or amped up as when Disney depicts them. Are there cliques? Absolutely. Do they look like Mean Girls? We wish it was that obvious to find the rotten apple in the bunch. The truth is that high school relationships look a lot like adult relationships and sometimes they won’t know when their friend will turn on them. On the other hand, high school friends can be some of the most important ones they’ll ever make. Finding the people who will walk with them as they make that transition from kid to adult might be one of the highlights of their high school years. Or not. Best to set realistic expectations before they even walk through the front door.

2. Plan their escape route before they need one.

The time for solving problems is before you actually have them. We both tell our kids to throw us under the bus if necessary. In Erin’s family, they pull the old “my mom would kill me/won’t let me/said no” trick. Kids bow before a mean, crazy mom. The offenders will back off and your kid gets off scot-free. We also advocate pulling a “sick kid” when the need arises. If our kids are at a party that’s headed south, they can text “sick kid” and they will get a pick-up. All conversations about the situation will be delayed until everyone is “feeling better”.

3. Trust is earned.

Love is unconditional, but trust is not. A casual lie about having cleaned your room when it takes all of three seconds and one whiff to verify that this is in fact not even passingly true? Worse than not cool, it erodes trust. Hit hard on the notion that casual lying when the truth would suit them better makes it really hard to believe them when the stakes are higher.

4. High School is a great time to explore and try new things.

Let them know that they can try new and different things or even put on old familiar ones and take it to the next level. High school is about finding new friends, interests, passions, and most importantly, uncovering who they really are. We are all about encouraging them to try on different hats.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. Be your best self.

One of the challenges of parenting teens is that they can look lazy, insolent, disengaged, and apathetic. Don’t get sucked into the labeling trap. These are masks for things like fear and anxiety. Remind teens daily of your expectations and be ready with consequences when they are not met.

6. Safety first.

In both of our homes, we talk candidly about what that means in all aspects of their lives. This includes hard talks about dating, sex, alcohol, and everything else. The stakes are so high that they need honest information from us as well as opportunities to ask questions and get answers. We rely heavily on facts and have adopted “all questions welcomed” policies. With our oldest kids in college or headed there, we are not above giving advice whether they ask for it or not. And we definitely send up prayers like this or this in hopes of graceful passage through this phase of life. Sometimes, we even get a little mushy as the big milestones hit, but that’s a mom’s perogative and we’re taking it.

Before the pretty pictures, about 5,000 conversations need to happen first.

7. Encourage the buddy system.

Two Jiminy Crickets are better than one, so encourage kids to travel in twos everywhere. Boy or girl, there is safety in numbers. In a pair of buddies, usually one of them is able to put the brakes on something unsafe or get help or call foul.

8. The life you are supposed to have will not pass you by.

Good or bad, all of these high school experiences are building the uniquely awesome story that belongs uniquely to them. Even if things don’t always turn out the way they hoped, there is value in the experience.

9. Dream Big, but Work Hard

Frame the future realistically. Some things will come easy for them and others won’t. Ellen’s go-to t-shirt motto is “Hard work beats talent when talent hardly works.” Pretty much sums it up. If you are talented, you need to bring your A game. Every Day. If you have struggles, you can beat them with hard work and determination. Now is a great time to start thinking about post high school plans and plotting steps to make that plan happen.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

10. Get Moving

High school life got your kid down? Boyfriend troubles making you all glum? AP anxiety got the whole family tied up in knots? Take this show on the road. Tell your kids right now that putting one foot in front of the other is the first step to getting over whatever obstacle lies before them. We have no idea why putting one foot in front of the other works, but it does. It is also a great way to get the conversation flowing between you. And chances are when you get your kid talking, it won’t just be about high school or classes or stresses but about what really matters: you and your kid. Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

In all honesty, high school is a juggernaut on fast forward.

Best of luck in this exciting new phase!

-Erin and Ellen

10 Things to Tell Your Kid before They Go to High School #teens #parenting

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13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To

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Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But we will have none of that gobbledygook about “competent at many, but master of none” because we rock just about everything. We’re moms, it’s what we do . . . buuuuttttttt . . . do we really have to rock them all by ourselves? Clearing the sink of dishes or scooping the litter box is not high level functioning.

And sure we support the hard party line of giving our kids responsibilities, but you know when the chips are down, the laundry is piling up, and the lunches still need to be packed, mom is the last line of defense.

So what’s a mom to do? Take a deep breath, repeat the mantra “it’s lovely to be needed,” and have a laugh at your own expense. Here, we’ll help you with thirteen spot-on-laughing-through-the-tears mom jobs we all can relate to.

Being a mother means being a Jacqueline of All Trades . . . whether we want to be or not. But even if we can't get a little help, we can at least find the humor in these 13 Mom Jobs We All Can Relate To. | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Labor Union President

Homeland Security

Estate Manager

Groundskeeper

Short Order Cook

IT Specialist

Editor-in-Chief

Distribution Specialist

Interior Decorator

Uber Driver

Timekeeper

Supply Manager

Judge and Jury

What would you add?

Moms can do anything, but do we want to? Laughing-through-the-tears mom jobs we all can relate to.

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10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms

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As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. Time spent scrolling the internet instead of soaking up Sunshine’s every little ray can never be recouped. Um, by that logic any and every job would make you a bad parent. So there’s that . . . but we’re also pushing back with this: blogging actually has the power to make you an even better parent. Just soak that up for a minute.

If there was such a thing as a parenting genie who would grant our wishes with a rub of a magical sippy cup, we would ask for two things: a mystical rear view mirror and a telescope into the future. With the rear view mirror we could relive those fleeting childhood moments of chubby knees and downy heads. With the telescope, we could gaze into that fuzzy future to see how our every parenting decision impacts our children’s growth into adults. But we don’t need magic because we have something better: blogging! Unconvinced? Let us present our case.

As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. Improves our Time Management

All parents know time is THE hot commodity. Learning how to use those precious minutes wisely is a better gift to the whole family than a subscription to Netflix (although our kids might not immediately agree). Like most mothers, our schedules were jam-packed . . . and then we decided to blog. The idea of shoehorning a new job into our already overflowing schedules seemed crazy. Right?! Dash away visions of abandoned children sacrificed at the Temple of Blogdom because a miracle happened! Budgeting our time for writing and promotion spurred us to mindfully carve out minutes for what matters most, and to put our phones down during those moments.

2. Develops Us into Better Role Models

Good parenting is telling kids what to do. Better parenting is modeling it. We talk a good talk with our kids about taking advantageous risks to put themselves out there, but it wasn’t until we started blogging that we put the proverbial money where our pie holes are. Putting our words, beliefs, and advice out there for the world to see—and critique—takes a fair amount of hitching up our big girl britches. Blogging makes us doers, not just preachers.

3. Expands Our Horizons

Stepping outside our comfort zone was one thing, but launching into different time zones was unexpected gravy. Conferences and summits and advocacy, oh my! Blogging is not about isolation, but opening up the world in a whole new way. We’ve gotten lost on our way to yoga in Chicago, promoted a foundation in Atlanta, spoken about podcasting in Baltimore, and advocated for global vaccines on Capitol Hill.

Acting as Shot@Life Champions

Don’t start lamenting over our precious little ones left behind. They have actually gotten to tag along on some occasions, been sponsored by our employer to go to a leadership conference, and have been published on a sponsor’s website. Not too shabby.

4. Introduces Us to New Things

Social media may conjure up visions of moms staring at their phones while their kids beg “hey Ma, look at me!” from the monkey bars, but we found that blogging and the attendant social media required, blasted open a window into our kids’ worlds. We were beyond savvy before any of our kids even asked for an Instagram account. The social media boot camp gave us some serious parenting stripes.

5. Gives Us Time to Reflect

Never underestimate the power of the pause. The discipline of writing weekly means we are also processing our lives as parents each week: the good, the bad, and the disappointing. Our blog is not about cute kid stories, but focuses on analyzing our experiences on the parenting crazy train. This “pause button” has prompted us to actually reset our practices at times because no job needs chances for a do-overs quite like parenting.

6. Introduces Us to New Friends

Yes, we have friends in our computers. Yes, we’re sure they’re not trolls of the 50-year-old unshaven Limp Bizkit fan variety because we’ve actually met them. Our internet tribe has some of the most intelligent and kind-hearted women you would ever be lucky enough to have in your corner–professionally and personally. Wherever our kids decide to attend college, they will be within thirty minutes of a blogger friend—no, a surrogate mother. You can’t buy that kind of peace of mind.

BlogU Conference | As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Some friends at the BlogU NickMom Prom

7. Gives Us New Ways to Talk to Our Kids

Want to talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol with your kid? Of course you don’t. But if you have a writing deadline, suddenly you can broach touchy topics with very little preamble. Our kids are conditioned to respond without flinching to questions like “Hey, I need to write an article about kids and alcohol, come talk to me!” or “Hey, do you know anyone who abuses cough syrup?”

Interviews notwithstanding, our kids retain rights to their stories and hold the right to veto us sharing them. Our writers’ hearts hurt for the tales we can’t tell, but these discussions stress the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries between private and public lives. For a generation cutting their teeth on social media, and for their moms who need to keep up, this is the greatest prize of all.

8. Encourages Us to Model Good Friendships

We were friends before we were business partners, but blogging took our friendship to a new place. That new place was the world of compromise and generosity. While we think the United Nations would appreciate our skills in diplomacy and cooperation, we know our kids are learning from them every day.

9. Gives Our Kids Fodder for Their Own Memoirs

Our blog is not a baby book, but it is peppered with memories that will last as long as their digital footprint (as long as we keep paying our website hosting bill). In the final analysis, we hope our kids see that blogging is another way we share our experiences not just with each other or the internet, but with them.

10. Gives Us Another Dimension

Hear that noise? It’s us roaring. We’re proudly showing our kids what women can achieve. We have become coders, graphic designers, speakers, advocates, and parenting experts. We’re professionals who have learned to negotiate and put a fair price on what we’re worth as we cobble together an income. Blogging has prodded us to lean all the way in.

2014 Baltimore Listen to Your Mother Cast | As the urban legend goes, blogging makes you a bad parent. We say, "Nay, nay!" Working in this diverse field improves our parenting every day. | 10 Ways Blogging Makes Us Better Moms | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We were so happy to be a part of the 2014 Baltimore Listen to Your Mother Cast

So basically, blogging has made us happier, more skilled, and more greatly fulfilled moms. To flip that annoying saying to the positive: everybody knows if momma’s happy then everybody’s happy.

The evidence is clear. We rest our case.