Tag Archives: Middle School

Tween Booklist for the Reluctant Reader

Oh, you know how we love a good booklist! In fact, our last one was so chock full of good reads that you might want to give it another look. As Erin is currently teaching middle school, we thought it was time to put together a list for the younger set too. Sometimes, tweens are hard sells on a book, but these reads are so good, their stories so compelling, that even the most reluctant reader will succumb to their charms. So here it is: a tween booklist guaranteed to hit that reading sweet spot for your favorite young reader!

Got a reluctant reader? Great reads for the elementary and middle school crowd. Check out this great tween booklist full of books that are unputdownable! | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Echo by Pam Munoz Ryan

Um, an enchanted harmonica. Say what? Trust us on this one. Ryan’s magical tale that spans multiple generations and travels across continents is a new classic. The book dives right into some of the thornier aspects of our history and brings a wide-eyed, open-hearted approach. Sometimes this makes for heart-wrenching reading, but ultimately the story is a triumph and a powerful reminder that we can overcome all with love.

Wolf Hollow by Lauren Wolk

Beautiful and moving, this story set in the shadow of World War II is an inspiration. Our hero Annabelle must withstand the local bully, Betty Glengarry, but her actions set in motion a larger, more important story that one of bullying. This remarkable story is “To Kill a Mockingbird” for the middle school set

A Lon g Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park

Caveat: please read this one before you hand it to a child younger than middle school. That being said, Park handles what could be a very violent book with grace and care. Told from two vantage points and set in 2008, the book follows Nya, a young girl from Sudan who has to fetch water for her village and Salva, a young Sudanese boy whose village is attacked by the rebels in 1985 and who ends up fleeing across the desert to a refugee camp in Ethiopia. This story has true elements to it and the heartbreak of this African village is certainly real, but it’s also an important beautifully rendered account that kids will read quickly.

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor

This book is a true classic and even won the Newbery Award. Set in the South during the Great Depression, this book is hard but hopeful and the characters are bright and entertaining in the face of tragedy and racism. You will appreciate the warm ties and truths as your kids will identify and cheer for the family.

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

This book is just a great time. Funny, chocked full of adventure, and filled to the brim with heart, there’s nothing not to love here. But the magic is in our protagonist, Tiffany Aching, who sets out on a mission to become a witch. The six inch high tiny but fierce fighting men who assist her help create the magic here. If funny fantasy were a genre, this book would be at the top of it.

Red Kayak by Priscilla Cummings

Set on our beloved Eastern Shore of Maryland, we would probably have a little love for this book even if it wasn’t so deftly knitted together. Luckily for your young reader, this story of a tragic kayak accident is powerful in and of itself. The moral questions the protagonist Brady must answer as he uncovers the truth behind the accident propel this story past the regret and sadness to another place. As the author steers Brady through some tough moral dilemmas without losing any of the suspense, you are reminded over and over again why the book won the honor of being named a Black Eyed Susan book.

Wonder by E. J. Palaccio

This Texas Bluebonnet Award winner is a wonder in and of itself. The central character August Pullman has a facial deformity which has prevented him from attending a regular school. When he does finally become a student at Beecher Prep, this buoyant tale takes off. Augie just wants to be treated like everyone else, but, well, everyone else might not be ready for that. Told from the perspective of Augie, his classmates, and his family, this anti-bullying story never comes off as preachy, but does allow room to talk about fears and prejudices and, ultimately, the power of kindness. Wonder of all wonders. A must read for all middle schoolers!

Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper

Wow. Just wow. This book sticks with you. Melody is the smartest kid in school, but she can’t talk or walk, so nobody knows. When she finally finds a way to communicate, she seems on her way to fulfilling her dream of just being a “regular” kid. But, sigh, middle school is hard, yo. Frank and open, this book takes us inside one girl’s journey with cerebral palsy and, even with detours into some heavy stuff, we are all made better from the trip.

The Raft by S.A. Bodeen

This book reads like Charlotte Rogan’s Lifeboat for the teen set. Poor Robie leaves Hawaii for a trip home to Midway when her plane goes down. Unfortunately, nobody really knows she’s missing or where to look for her. Oh, yeah, and she’s pretty much on her own adrift on a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. It’s disaster lit at its best. Your older tween and teen will enjoy this fast-paced easy read.

Divergent by Victoria Roth

This series tops the middle school lists. In this dystopian future world, society is divided into five factions named for dedication to five different virtues— (Candor (the honest), Abnegation (the selfless), Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), and Erudite (the intelligent). This is the next series for any kid who devoured The Hunger Games and has been hankering for more of the same. This series adds some different elements that make it interesting for sure, but your child should probably have the same level of maturity to really enjoy it. Think of this one as upper middle school.

The Falconer’s Knot: A Story of Friars, Flirtation and Foul Play by Mary Hoffman

Set during the Middle Ages, Silvano is a guy having kind of a bad streak of luck. Wrongfully accused of murder, he is sent to a Franciscan House for his own protection. Posing as a young friar there, Silvano can’t help falling for the lovely girl in the nearby abbey. But he just can’t catch a break. More murders threaten to take Silvano’s freedom for good and keep him from his love. Unlike Hoffman’s popular Stravanganza series set in an alternate world that looked like Renaissance Italy, this suspenseful tale is actually set in fourteenth century Umbria. The historical element just adds another layer to this already rich story. Your young readers will swoon.

The Shadow Children, the Complete Series: Among the Hidden; Among the Impostors; Among the Betrayed; Among the Barons; Among the Brave; Among the Enemy; Among the Free by Margaret Peterson Haddix

Ideal for all fluent readers, this series is a runaway hit. Luke is a 12 year old kid who has spent his life in hiding. The Population Police have dictated that each family can only have two kids. As his family’s third child, Luke’s life is in danger so he has never experienced many of the simple joys of childhood. As his world changes, he glimpses others like himself and launches a daring plan to come out of the shadows that gives energy and momentum to the series. Your kids will be so busy trying to keep up with all the plot twists and turns that they won’t even know they just spent their summer reading.

Fever 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson

This recommendation cannot come without also calling attention to Anderson’s other wonderful titles Speak and Chains, both National Book Award finalists. Anderson is the master of historical fiction for the Axe and Aero set. This novel takes us to Philadelphia during the yellow fever epidemic is one of her best. Told from the point of view of Mattie Cook, this tale weaves a narrative around the real-life events and characters of the time. Anderson never treats her young readers like unintelligent ones so the language in the book is just as rich and interesting as the story itself. And there’s an appendix at the end with facts about the epidemic. Sqwee! To a certain reader, it’s kind of like getting a birthday cake on Christmas. Score!

THE WESTING GAME by Ellen Raskin

This is an oldie but greatie. Several of us remember this book as one of our favorites from childhood and at least one of us taught this book to our students. Another Newbery winner, this book has been charming readers for over twenty-five years and it still reads as fresh and inventive as it did back then. Sixteen people show up to the reading of Samuel Westing’s will. Any of them could walk away with his millions. The fun is in the unravelling. An absolute delight to read!

When Life Gives You O.J. by

Animal-lovers will flock to this book! Zelly is moving to Vermont and she desperately wants a dog. Her grandpa Ace comes up with a crazy scheme to convince her parents that she is ready for one: he makes her a dog out of an old orange juice jug. There is a lot to love about this book. The sweet but complicated relationship Zelly has with her grandpop Ace, her new friend who encourages her to stay true to her convictions even in the face of social pressures, and the subtle themes of responsibility and treating all people (even bullies) with respect woven throughout. The author even inserts some great education about the Jewish faith into the story as Zelly meets two families who are devout Jews in a town that where they are a distinct and noticeable minority. Kids will love the Yiddish glossary at the end!

Dicey’s Song by Cynthia Voigt

So you had to know this book was special once you figured out that this sequel won the Newbery Honor Award, but it’s also pretty apparent from the moment you open the spine (without breaking it, of course) and settle into the pages. Thirteen year old Dicey and her three siblings were abandoned by her mother in a parking lot and she has heralded them safely to her grandmother’s house where this story begins. The truth and beauty of Dicey’s voice and story, the pace and strong characters, and ultimately the honesty that permeates from this fast-paced read are all part of its charm. Oh, and it was one of Erin’s favorite books from when she was on the cusp of teendom.

Nerd Camp by Elissa Brent Weissman

This funny, tender book about being true to who you are doesn’t ever come across as schmaltzy and boys will be laughing too hard at all the crazy adventures of Gabe and his friends at Nerd Camp to notice all the sweet stuff anyway. Gabe’s dad is getting remarried and he is getting a stepbrother who happens to be the very same age. This is great news for Gabe until he realizes that his new brother Zack is a cool skateboarder while he is, well, not. Gabe desperately wants to hide his geekiness from Zack and the story unfolds. In the end, this is a story about accepting yourself for who you are. It’s such a positive, upbeat story narrated by an engaging young voice that tween boys won’t be able to put this book down.

Three Times Lucky by Sheila Turnage

Oh, we love a strong female lead and this book has one in the firecracker protagonist named Mo LeBeau. Big on personality and heart, this book is also a full-blown mystery topped with a little Southern charm. As a read, it goes down like a smooth glass of perfect lemonade. Your kids will be charmed by the quirky cast of characters and the precocious but believable dialogue.

Spy School by Stuart Gibbs

Erin’s kids have been known to fall asleep clutching spy goggles and our friend Mary’s son brought his spy watch kayaking, hiking, and camping last year. Boys LOVE spy stuff. So a book about a school for spies? It has Hogwarts for Future Double Agents written all over it. Even the hero Ben is a little Potter reminiscent. Slow to warm up to the spy stuff, Ben wins in the end—making friends, helping to uncover the hidden mole, and getting his spy groove on. This book brings the action, ninja stars, and combat simulation (in the form of paintball—of course) to the CIA Academy and kids who enjoy a witty tale with a side of suspense will be delighted. This would be a great read-aloud for younger kids too.

Alas, we think all the books on this tween booklist are winners, but we also love it when smarter people with fancy ribbons agree with us too. We have found the Newbery Award winners, the Black Eyed Susan books, the Texas Bluebonnet Award winners, and the National Book Award winners to be great resources for finding even more wonderful reads for our kids.

But if all else fails, ask a librarian. They will usually rain down suggestions with just a little prodding. We have some of the best here in our county, but we bet there is a great one near you too!

Happy reading!

-Erin and Ellen

Got a reluctant reader? #Tween #booklist chock full of #greatreads #momlife #parenting

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10 Things to Tell Your Kid Before High School

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If you are one of the many filling out high school course loads for next year, we know you have a laundry list of things to tell your kid before high school. But long before you get into the heavy conversations about expectations and goals, light years before the talks about peer pressure and all its attendant things, and eons before the conversations about college, first things first. Freshman year will work a morphing magic like no other on your sweet child. Even while your head knows that you are now looking up at your darling boy, your heart is gonna be slow to catch up. To avoid a nasty Tuesday morning kick in the feels from the Facebook Memory feature next year, it’s best to remember that kids sprint at extra zulu warp speed through this year. If you want to keep up, you have to be prepared.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

First reaction: deep down soul level joy. I mean, come on, this is GOLD. Second reaction: Dude, where did that baby boy go?

With this sprinting in mind, remember that the easy time you have shared up to now is about to shrink into fleeting, flashing moments too. High school busy is a whole new brand of busy and you won’t believe it until you are living it. But thanks to those pesky hormones, the moments you do have will not all be precious either. So as we just crossed two more kids over into high school, we thought we would share some of the things we talk about when we talk about high school. If you are crossing a kid over into high school, this might help you. Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1. TV/Movie High School bears little resemblance to the actual halls you will walk for the next four years.

Our kids, and our girls in particular, feel that media has let them down. There are pressures for sure, but they are not so finely drawn or amped up as when Disney depicts them. Are there cliques? Absolutely. Do they look like Mean Girls? We wish it was that obvious to find the rotten apple in the bunch. The truth is that high school relationships look a lot like adult relationships and sometimes they won’t know when their friend will turn on them. On the other hand, high school friends can be some of the most important ones they’ll ever make. Finding the people who will walk with them as they make that transition from kid to adult might be one of the highlights of their high school years. Or not. Best to set realistic expectations before they even walk through the front door.

2. Plan their escape route before they need one.

The time for solving problems is before you actually have them. We both tell our kids to throw us under the bus if necessary. In Erin’s family, they pull the old “my mom would kill me/won’t let me/said no” trick. Kids bow before a mean, crazy mom. The offenders will back off and your kid gets off scot-free. We also advocate pulling a “sick kid” when the need arises. If our kids are at a party that’s headed south, they can text “sick kid” and they will get a pick-up. All conversations about the situation will be delayed until everyone is “feeling better”.

3. Trust is earned.

Love is unconditional, but trust is not. A casual lie about having cleaned your room when it takes all of three seconds and one whiff to verify that this is in fact not even passingly true? Worse than not cool, it erodes trust. Hit hard on the notion that casual lying when the truth would suit them better makes it really hard to believe them when the stakes are higher.

4. High School is a great time to explore and try new things.

Let them know that they can try new and different things or even put on old familiar ones and take it to the next level. High school is about finding new friends, interests, passions, and most importantly, uncovering who they really are. We are all about encouraging them to try on different hats.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

5. Be your best self.

One of the challenges of parenting teens is that they can look lazy, insolent, disengaged, and apathetic. Don’t get sucked into the labeling trap. These are masks for things like fear and anxiety. Remind teens daily of your expectations and be ready with consequences when they are not met.

6. Safety first.

In both of our homes, we talk candidly about what that means in all aspects of their lives. This includes hard talks about dating, sex, alcohol, and everything else. The stakes are so high that they need honest information from us as well as opportunities to ask questions and get answers. We rely heavily on facts and have adopted “all questions welcomed” policies. With our oldest kids in college or headed there, we are not above giving advice whether they ask for it or not. And we definitely send up prayers like this or this in hopes of graceful passage through this phase of life. Sometimes, we even get a little mushy as the big milestones hit, but that’s a mom’s perogative and we’re taking it.

Before the pretty pictures, about 5,000 conversations need to happen first.

7. Encourage the buddy system.

Two Jiminy Crickets are better than one, so encourage kids to travel in twos everywhere. Boy or girl, there is safety in numbers. In a pair of buddies, usually one of them is able to put the brakes on something unsafe or get help or call foul.

8. The life you are supposed to have will not pass you by.

Good or bad, all of these high school experiences are building the uniquely awesome story that belongs uniquely to them. Even if things don’t always turn out the way they hoped, there is value in the experience.

9. Dream Big, but Work Hard

Frame the future realistically. Some things will come easy for them and others won’t. Ellen’s go-to t-shirt motto is “Hard work beats talent when talent hardly works.” Pretty much sums it up. If you are talented, you need to bring your A game. Every Day. If you have struggles, you can beat them with hard work and determination. Now is a great time to start thinking about post high school plans and plotting steps to make that plan happen.

Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

10. Get Moving

High school life got your kid down? Boyfriend troubles making you all glum? AP anxiety got the whole family tied up in knots? Take this show on the road. Tell your kids right now that putting one foot in front of the other is the first step to getting over whatever obstacle lies before them. We have no idea why putting one foot in front of the other works, but it does. It is also a great way to get the conversation flowing between you. And chances are when you get your kid talking, it won’t just be about high school or classes or stresses but about what really matters: you and your kid. Moving from middle school to high school can be daunting. Here are 10 things for parents to talk about with tweens and teens as they move up | Parenting Advice | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

In all honesty, high school is a juggernaut on fast forward.

Best of luck in this exciting new phase!

-Erin and Ellen

10 Things to Tell Your Kid before They Go to High School #teens #parenting

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4 Things To Do if You Have a Kid Going to Middle School

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Well, the time has finally come. You are busy planning Step Up ceremonies and managing the first inklings of tween ‘tude. Take some time now before you start repurposing all of the backpacks for summer camp to think about the year to come. If you have a kid going to middle school this fall, this is an important passage. After the initial one of putting your baby on a bus to go to school at all, it’s the most important one you will face thus far. While the shift from elementary to middle school may represent a monumental shift on all levels—mental, emotional, and physical—- it also signifies the start of a new kind of relationship with your kid. Despite how it may sometimes feel, this new phase is not a battle to prepare for so much as a brave new world to visit.

With this in mind, we have some ideas to ease your way down this road.

Got a tween heading to middle school this fall? Here are some subtle changes in your parenting that will help you and your child get ready for this transition | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

1) Shift gears.

What we mean: Up until this moment, you have been in the driver’s seat. As the parent, you have charted the course, set the sails, and brought the ship around. Middle school marks the beginning of the end of your time as captain. It’s time to give your kid the wheel and give them a chance to navigate with you there right beside them.

What this looks like: If you have been managing schoolwork and sports up unto this point, it’s time to slowly back away. Start with showing them how to use tools like Google Calendar so they can manage their projects, tests, and sports commitments themselves. Teach them to use the online gradebook that nearly every school has to see how they are doing. Model how to set up a good work zone and then back away and let them start making decisions about how they work best for themselves. Colleges do not look at middle school transcripts. There is no time like the present to learn a lesson the hard way.

What this feels like: Moving to this new role in parenting can be very painful. We were rocking our parenting mojo and we liked steering our happy little family ship. But kids at this age need this time and space to start doing things on their own and a parent who can make the shift. This is the less physically demanding but more emotionally and mentally draining work of child-rearing. It’s also beautiful and rewarding when things are going well. Hold onto those moments when things get off-track and know that it’s completely normal and totally expected for kids to steer into rocks, break rudders, and generally beat the crap out of the boat during these years.

2) Trust But Verify.

What we mean: One day at the pool, someone asked my husband Steve how parenting a teen was different than a six year old. Steve threw this out: “Not different at all. I still do what I’ve always done. Trust but verify.” It’s a play on the toddler truism, “Never turn your back on them”, and it just happens to be a critical part of the middle school parenting toolbox. Remember what we just said about giving them a little more leeway, a little more room to maneuver on their own? Let them chart their own course a little now, but do not surrender your parent card completely as you let them sail on their own.

What this looks like: Check in often—in person, on social media, at school, on the sports field. Be a presence everywhere. Ask about what they’re watching, listening to, consuming digitally.

What this feels like: Honestly, this can be a little exhausting at first. Middle school opens up many doors and one of the big ones it opens up is the world of social media. Helping your kid manage their relationship with technology is a crucial part of parenting at this stage. Check out our social media tips to explain where the kids are, what type of parental controls you might want, and ways to help your family manage technology. Even outside of managing social media, piecing together the real story from the breadcrumbs your kid gives you can be frustrating. Patience, Grasshopper. Channeling your inner peaceful warrior is the key here. We have also found that walking doesn’t just burn calories but also some of the tension and frustration. Get yourself a FitBit and some walking shoes.

3) Speak often but put down your stick.

What we mean: Poor Teddy Roosevelt wouldn’t like what we did with his saying, but our way works much better with middle schoolers. Kids this age are finding their voice and they want lots and lots and lots of opportunities to use it. What will make this harder? Drawing unnecessary, hard lines in the sand and creating conflict instead of conversation.

What this looks like: Be ready and willing to start conversations from anything including but not limited to social media, movies, TV shows, commercials, songs, pictures, magazine covers, and tin can food labels. We’re not kidding: be ready and willing to talk anywhere about anything at any time.

What this feels like: When the conversation flow is going well and everything is clicking, it feels like someone should crown you Parent of the Year of the Century of the Universe. When things are so very south of fine, it feels like just about anybody, including your bachelor brother who doesn’t even know if he wants kids, would be a better parent than you. In other words, it’s either soul-crushing or life-affirming. Welcome to the beautiful planet of middle school, buckle your seatbelts and enjoy the bumpy but beautiful ride.

4) Follow the Golden Rule.

What we mean: All we know about parenting through adolescence can be boiled down into simply this: treat kids the way that you would want to be treated. This is not “be a buddy” parenting or relegating your role as the adult, but it is an acknowledgment of the truth: kids are unique and valuable, if not yet fully formed, human beings. They are not extensions of ourselves but special unto themselves.

What this looks like: Our favorite piece of advice is to actively listen. Do you know what that sounds like? Well, if you are doing it right, not much at all. Make space in your home and your lives for conversation to happen. Build it into your family’s culture so that kids are comfortable coming to you to share whatever is on their minds. Then when they do talk, listen with your mind open and your mouth shut. Even one word that could be interpreted as judgment or criticism can shut down an important conversation. Master the art of the noncommittal hmmm.

What this feels like: It hurts. We like to joke that we should win awards for all the things we don’t say, but it’s true. On the flipside, It also feels really, really great when you are actually connecting with your child. We warned you it was a bumpy ride.

The truth is that middle school is going to be a great place for you and your child in the coming years, but you need to get ready. Summer is all about planning and taking trips, right? Use our travelling tips to talk to your child and plan some strategies you think will work for both of you in the coming months. Then you can both sit back and enjoy the ride. Just remember to pack sunscreen.

-Erin and Ellen

Got a #tween heading to middle school? 4 Things to Do Now to Get You Both Ready #parenting

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Teach Kids to Take Responsibility for Their Schoolwork

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Practical Tips for How to Teach Kids to Take Responsibility for Their Schoolwork. Before you stop hovering, you must teach them the skills to be self-sufficient. Think of it as giving them training wheels for responsibility. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

You know how foals basically drop out of the womb trotting? Wouldn’t it be great if human babies had some self-sufficiency like that? Minus the hoofs, of course. Instead, they are helpless lumps who train us parents from early on to take care of all of their needs . . . and it’s hard to stop. We’re conditioned to swoop in even when diapers are a distant memory and the “needs” at hand are that they NEED to turn in their blasted math homework on time.

Even if you’re bound and determined to not be a helicopter parent, it’s hard to know just how to back off. They needed your homework checking/grade tracking/assignment monitoring ways in early elementary school, but as they approach middle school it’s time to give them the tools to manage their schoolwork on their own.

Think of teaching responsibility the same way you would teach your child to ride a bike. It’s a rare kid who can go from tricycle to bicycle without some training wheels in between. Teaching them to be self-sufficient with assignments works the same way. There are going to be some particularly hard knocks if you expect your child to go from hand-holding to “you’re on your own!” in one great leap. It’s going to be dicey at times, regardless.

Erin has four sons and one daughter and Ellen has two daughters. With the experience earned from parenting seven kids between us, we have developed some tools–training wheels, if you will–your child can use to monitor their own tasks and schoolwork without you slipping into the role of nag. If you have to remind them to do their work, they are not really taking responsibility, but if you teach them how to remind themselves, they have a valuable skill for life.

Training Wheels for Responsibility

Ellen’s Focus for Five

In my house, with my two daughters, much time is spent in front of the bathroom mirror, so when they began middle school, that is where we posted our “Focus for Five” reminder sign. This was their visual cue to take five minutes to think about their day. A pad of sticky notes rested on the counter so my girls could jot down reminders as they thought of them to stick them on the mirror or place in their planners as needed.

What do I have to take today?
What do I have to turn in today?
What do I have to do today?
What do I have to get today?
What dates and deadlines do I need to share today?

Click to print the Focus for Five PDF.

Number five is essential to this training wheel program. It was and is their job to inform me of deadlines instead of the other way around. Them reporting to me keeps things from (mostly) slipping through the cracks.

Bonus: By giving the system a name, I only have to ask, “Did you focus for five?” at the breakfast table to make sure they did not forget their forgetfulness prevention tool.

Erin’s Backpack Tags

I have five kids–four sons and one daughter–so in my house, if everyone put sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, we would no longer have a mirror. We took a more personalized approach: luggage tag-sized reminders on each of the backpacks. I made checklists on 3 x 5 index cards, covered them with an adhesive laminating sheet, punched holes through the tops, and attached one to each backpack with simple loose leaf binder rings. We started this with my oldest son when he was in elementary school. He was a bit of a distract-a-bat, so I started the tags with things like “Do I have a pencil? My homework? My folder? Did I turn everything in? Did I give Mom papers to sign?”

This is a system that easily grows with your kids. As we progressed through the years, we added things like “Did I remember my recorder? My gym bag? My cleats?” I just made a new list each time. Easy-peasy.

And there is a super duper parenting bonus! Did you notice that both of these techniques encourages your children to talk to you about their days? That is a great habit to instill as you approach the teen years.

By turning over their planners to them, you are empowering them with your trust, building their confidence, and communicating that they are in charge of their own accomplishments. Since life skills are not compartmentalized, this is going to serve them, and you, well when they are faced with tough choices such as lying, cheating, or drinking alcohol. Studies show confident kids are resilient kids who avoid risky behaviors.

Erin’s oldest son is a freshman in college and Ellen’s oldest is a high school senior. Our children went from scattered disasters to assignment managing, grade tracking, college applying, (mostly) deadline meeting young adults. We’re happy to say the rest of our broods are falling in line using these techniques too.

What “training wheels for responsibility” have you used in your home?

Ellen and Erin

Practical tips for how to teach kids to take responsibility for their schoolwork. Before you stop hovering, you must teach them the skills to be self-sufficient. Think of it as giving them training wheels for responsibility. | Parenting | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

How to teach your kids to take responsibility for their schoolwork!

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

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If you have kids, after worrying about what to feed them, where to educate them, and when it’s the right time to sell them to the circus, you’re probably also wondering when it’s time for THE TALK.

How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex: Practical Parenting Advice and Book Recommendations | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

We have a few caveats and some great tools to help ease you into this big moment which is really not so very big, we promise. We’ve not only been through it ourselves multiple times, but we have the power of professionals to help guide you in the right direction. With Erin’s education degree and Ellen’s medical degree, we might have a resource or two up our sleeves.

1) It’s not THE TALK.

I know we just said it was THE TALK, but that’s because we knew what you were thinking. The truth is that sex (and honestly the drug and alcohol and peer pressure talks too) aren’t one offs. They are part of an on-going discussion you are going to have with your kids about the science of how a body changes, the emotional and social changes they will face during puberty, sexuality itself, and, if you are religious, how sex aligns with their faith life. It’s not one talk but a lifetime of conversations.

2) Talk early.

Talk early and often. If you want some concrete examples of how we really do this in real time with real kids, check out these five things we actually talk about with our kids. The bottom line is that we never start the talk with “hey, kids, let’s talk about sex now.” If a conversation provides a natural segue to an important topic, seize the opportunity.

3) Give them bite-sized nuggets.

Once you start talking, keep it simple, short, and, if you can muster it, sweet. While we encourage taking advantage of conversation openers, we do not recommend information dumps. Did you see all the talking points you have to get through when you are talking about sex? Keeping things short will not only make your talks more palatable for both of you, but it will give you both time to digest what was said.

4) Drop the euphemisms.

What you say is not nearly as important as how you say it. Be honest, approachable, and open. If you are not feeling comfortable, then fake it until you make it, because this is a hugely important point when discussing sex with kids. Notice how we didn’t pepper the title of this post with talk of birds and bees? You want your kids to learn early and often that you will give them the straight-up, honest story. You want them to see you as the ultimate purveyor of truth long before those hormones kick in and try to tell them otherwise.

5) Follow their lead.

Answer the question they are asking. A simple query about periods doesn’t mean you have to cover sex from A to Z. (Remember, bite-sized nuggets.) That’s a rookie mistake that Erin might have made, but now you don’t have to, the wisdom of a shared experience, friends. You will get to sex eventually, but you should start wherever they are.

6) Respect their privacy.

It’s awfully tempting to tell Grandma or your friends about what you are going through as a mom. Standing on the brink of puberty IS a big change for all of you, but this is their story and it’s time to start acting like a vault. Your son’s morning erections are not fodder for book club discussion. The good news is that if you’re a really good vault, you’ll get the important “secrets” later on.

7) Educate yourself.

There are such great resources for parenting through the teen and tween years. We have a really helpful booklist and podcast that will let you not just survive but thrive during these years. These books are chock full of great information about the growth of the teen mind, the emotional life of adolescents, and really good tips for how to parent them through the tough stuff during these years. They will be great additions to your bedside table for the coming years. How do we know? They are the ones sitting on ours.

8) When in doubt, start with a book.

Still flummoxed about how to get this party rolling? We have some ideas. In particular, pull out a book and pull it out early.

The Harris and Emberley series are the stand-by books we recommend to everyone. Ellen researched the heck out of what to give to her own girls and this was the series she settled on. Erin was quick to adopt them as her go-to, also. Appropriate for as young as pre-school, there are different ways to use them to get the conversation ball rolling.

1. Read each chapter together and discuss at the end.

2. Have them read it on their own and come to you with questions.

3. Have talks and THEN give them the book.

4. Just give them the books to read and let it go. (You’ll be able to tell they’ve been read.)

Erin, with her five kids, can attest that each child has a different comfort level and relationship with these resources and it’s very important to take their lead. Just remember, bite-sized nuggets! For the love of puberty, don’t plop all the books on their laps at one time.

It’s Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends

This is the first book in the series and you can start using it as early as preschool. Great artwork accompanies good scientific information about bodies, keeping healthy, and age-appropriate sexual information. Good up through early elementary school.

It’s So Ama zing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families

This one picks up where the first left off but keeps the same comic-style artwork and entertaining text. This one kind of carries through until middle school.

It’s Per fectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health

For years, this has been the educator’s go-to guide for teaching sex to tweens and teens for a reason: it’s a great read for kids and adults alike. It’s been updated with great information about keeping safe on the internet and new chapters on gender identity. The newest edition reflects the world our kids our living in and allows for meaningful conversation on all aspects of sexuality.

9) Exhale.

You can do this. We believe in you and we’ve got your back in addition to a whole lot of great resources for you to use if you need them. Forget those silly birds and bees, and get talking about sex with your kids today! You’ll be happy you did.

-Ellen and Erin

Wanna talk about sex with your kids? Nobody does, but these tips will help.

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How My Middle School Awkward Was Put to Rest

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"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Over the past couple of weeks my worlds have been colliding and my time machine has been revving up because middle school dances have been ruling my life. That’s right, people; you can never escape the past, history repeats itself, and clichés help round out a sentence nicely.

Not only did I help orchestrate my daughter’s eighth grade dance, I was the part of the steering committee for The BlogU Conference where Nickelodeon® anointed our Saturday night shindig as an homage to #MiddleSchoolAwkward.

Seriously, people, for a woman firmly in her fourth decade of life, that was A LOT of middle school partying to shoehorn into my calendar. And into my soul.

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Both events were pulsing with lights, lousy with balloon towers, and ripe with photobooths, but you know what was missing from my daughter’s dance . . . besides the appletinis? THE AWKWARD! I don’t know what it is with these kids today, but between Invisalign, superior acne products, and the propensity for flowing tresses, they are gorgeous! And not in a “all kids are beautiful in the eyes of their mothers sort of way.” I’m talking “where are the contracts and the cameras because Nickelodeon® could use them in their next show” kind of way.

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I almost feel sorry for them. What will any one of these girls be able to do when Nickelodeon® asks them to submit an awkward middle school picture? They certainly won’t be able to come up with a gem like this:

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

They’ll never know the triumph of transforming from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan, or at the very least, into a handsome chicken. They’ll never take comfort in their crow’s feet as a measure to mark their distance from the train wreck of their adolescence. They’ll never be able to work so many avian references into one paragraph.

And they’ll never have the vindicating moment of glory when Nickelodeon® acknowledges that they were the second most awkward of them all.

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

My daughters’ reactions when I texted my family about my second place victory:

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

This right here is why I was not the gold medalist of awkward. For the love of a Flock of Seagulls, SHE COMBED HER BANGS FROM THE BACK OF HER HEAD. Established 1975 totally deserved first place. "How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

And quite honestly, I’m not sure how I beat Modern Mommy Madness out for second place. SHE HAD A BERET! (Please check out both of these ladies’ blogs to see how things have improved.)

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

But you know what? I don’t envy the beautiful girls of 2015. They still have the friend turmoil, grade pressures, and the rocky road of growing into the people they will become; but their pictures make you think everything is perfect. You look at OUR middle school pictures and you know we had angst. With my daughters and their friends, you have to imagine it, but it’s there. I have spent the past six years going through middle school two more times with my them. I KNOW.

They deserve some sympathy for their middle school years, too. Don’t hold it against them that their mother used up all of the awkward in her DNA so there was none to pass onto them.

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

At the very least pity them because they will never have this on their mantels:

"How My Middle School Awkward Was Put To Rest" | Thanks to The BlogU Conference, Nickelodeon®, and a trophy for this story of triumph, humor, and inspiration. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

BOOM! The glasses and suede vest were totally worth it for this moment. (No they weren’t.)

I wrote this post as part of Nickelodeon’s® sponsorship of The Blog University. The series “100 Things to Do Before High School” premieres on June 6 @ 8pm on Nickelodeon®. Tell your kids to tune in! Mine will!

-Ellen

How one woman’s #MiddleSchoolAwkward was put to rest. There’s a trophy involved.

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Tips for Handling Social Media and Your Kids

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Social media can seem like a scary, gnashing machine ready to chew up your precious darlings and ruin every job interview they have from now to forever, amen. Sexting. Bullying. A forever footprint. These are just a few of our least favorite things.

But just take a moment and relax, friend. This is a soft place to land because we are the best tour guides ever. Not only do we understand the hostile environment because we are navigating the social media mire every day with our own teens and tweens, we have the resources and knowledge to help you, too. In addition to our working-in-it-every-day internet savvy, Erin is a middle school teacher showing kids the internet ropes each and every day.

Parenting favors the well-prepared. Behold all that you need to arm yourself with information (and lots of it) to stay one step ahead of your tech savvy kids.

We’re all living in the twenty-first century, but some of us are embracing it a little more than others. If you are completely clueless, start with Teach Parents Tech. This site makes our heart sing. It will walk you through nearly every step of basic computer functions. What to do, how to do it, step by step. It’s digital hand-holding at its finest. Back in the beginning of blogging when Erin was a bit of a tech spazz, we would BOTH have loved this site.

If you are competent, but want to be cool, you are ready for Cool Mom Tech. Seriously, Kristen and Liz are our go-to girls for all things tech-y fun. All the latest and greatest are compiled on their site. Your kids will be so impressed and your friends will start thinking you are the tech guru.

Finally, you want to stay committed to being on top of the ever-changing world of tech, so become acquainted with TechSavvyMama. From her fabulous tech gift guides to her great, thoughtful posts about digital parenting, like this one about 10 Things Families Should Discuss to Have Healthier Relationships with Devices, we pretty much love what she has to say about technology and kids. Things are changing all the time and she’ll keep you at the forefront of what is coming down the internet.

And speaking of the internet, we love these great websites too. Whether we are looking for reviews or resources, these websites always deliver.

Edutopia

Ok, full disclosure: Erin is a huge Star Wars fan, but this site would be awesome even if it wasn’t the brainchild of George Lucas. This clearinghouse for all things that are working in education is not just a treasure trove for teachers but parents as well. In terms of educating parents on how to navigate the confusing world of tech, the site is top notch. Check out its Digital Literacy Resources for Parents. You will be glad you did, and while you are here, poke around a little, TONS of great resources on all things related to education.

Common Sense Media

This is the MacDaddy of digital citizenship. From lesson plans for teachers to reviews of everything digital (LITERALLY!) (video games to movies to television), this site has it ALL. You can be confident that all the resources you find here have been compiled by smart people who are committed to keeping kids safe on the internet and giving parents useful tools for parenting in a digital age.

ConnectSafely

Every parent will say one of their chief concerns about having their kids interact on social media is their safety, and well it should be as the internet is a bit like the wild west. This site is great for allaying fears while also being incredibly honest and informative about exactly what your kid will face in each social media outlet.

Which brings us to the next important issue: Do you know where your kids are? Back in the day, this meant checking out street corners. Today, it means you should be looking at your browser history.

We are here to tell you that THESE sites are where your kids are online. Follow the guides. Educate yourself and make a plan with your kid about how your family will treat technology.

Parents Guide to Facebook

Parents Guide to Ask.fm

Parents Guide to Snapchat

Parents Guide to Instagram

Parents Guide to Youtube

Parents Guide to Twitter

Parents Guide to Vine

There are also some great digital workshops where you can explore exactly what it means to be leading a digital life. Your family will find great resources to launch a conversation about good citizenship online, the potential dangers of the internet, and even some of the benefits of social media interaction.

Finally, we are not espousing any particular way to treat technology in your family, but we want you to have all the information you need to parent through the thorny digital landscape. We respect that each family has its own needs and therefore will develop its own relationship with social media, so we will just say this: take your time. Thoughtful, reflective, informed, and available parenting is the very best kind in our opinion. Let kids know that you care and you want to keep them safe.

If you also want to set some limits, here are some ways to lock the internet down a little. Just remember: nothing is foolproof.

10 Great Apps for Parental Controls

Parental Control Apps for Android

Parental Control Apps for Apple

And if you really, really, really want to set some tight controls, here are some Internet Filtering Tools that for a nominal fee will keep your kids far away from anything you deem unnecessary for your family.

Securly

OpenDNS

See? It’s all not-so-scary. Hope you enjoyed this five cent tour of social media. We hope these tips allay your fears and help you do the job we’re all trying to do well—parent in this new digital age.

Feel free to leave a question if there is a resource you are still looking for. We might be able to help you find it.

—Erin and Ellen

Check out the new parental control app to manage your child’s phone use that we love here!

Don’t get stuck in the mire! Check out these tips for handling social media and your kids!

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Middle School Survival Guide: A Booklist and Podcast

Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman

This is a parenting book that frankly anyone who spends any time around any boys age 11 through 18 needs to read. With over 200 interviews with boys and strong research guiding her conclusions, Wiseman draws the adolescent boy in sharp relief and gives us not only a true picture of the more complex lives of boys, but some ways we can help them through the next few years.

Our favorite insight? We do boys a disservice by dismissing their emotional lives as simple when they most assuredly are not. There is even a free e-book for boys themselves to read about what to do in difficult situations.

Wiseman is kind of a superhero. Or a superstar. In any case, she has written a book that can save you and any special boys in your life.

Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman

And Wiseman works a similar magic for girls. Erin read this book when she first started teaching middle school and it fundamentally changed the way she looked at girls, their friendships, and their struggles with each other and themselves.

Wiseman offers sage, sound advice for how to guide girls towards treating themselves with dignity and grace and treating each other fairly, but there is so much more than that in this book. Understanding girl power plays, how boys fit into the big picture of girl relationships, and the different roles girls play really helps anyone who knows or loves an adolescent girl guide her to her best, most authentic self. Thanks again to the wonderful and very wise Wiseman.

The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian

We often scribble pearls of wisdom from what we’ve been reading. This quote from this book has become Erin’s talisman over the past few years:

“As our lives speed up more and more, so do our children’s. We forget and thus they forget that there is nothing more important than the present moment. We forget and thus they forget to relax, to find spiritual solitude, to let go of the past, to quiet ambition, to fully enjoy the eating of a strawberry, the scent of a rose, the touch of a hand on a cheek…”
― Michael Gurian, The Wonder of Boys

Michael Gurian shares his larger vision of how culturally we are failing boys by not acknowledging and thus not meeting their biological and spiritual needs. We both love books with a strong scientific bent that are also easy to read. This book meets those criteria and yet exceeds expectations too. It will be a beloved helpmate on the hormone highway you are now traveling.

The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters by Michael Gurian

This is a riveting read. Honestly. Bursting with excellent, updated scientific research about how girls develop, how their brains work, and how this all affects how girls relate to themselves and each other, this is as unputdownable as nonfiction gets. Ditto everything we said about The Wonder of Boys but yet uniquely wonderful in its own way. Magic.

The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School — Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More by Haley Kilpatrick

Anyone who has been anywhere near a middle school lunchroom knows that The Drama Years is the perfect title for a book about girls navigating the difficult tween years. This book is one of the best for helping you and your daughter through it.

Haley Kilpatrick is the founder of GirlTalk and she is on a mission to end the drama and change the outcome for our nation’s young women. Sharing her own personal anecdotes from middle school and drawing on conversations with middle school and high school girls about what actually happens and what helps, Haley Kilpatrick has created a book with real insights and a clear path for helping. You will love the real, honest talk and the great, usable advice.

Middle School Makeover: Improving the Way You and Your Child Experience the Middle School Years by Michelle Icard

We have already recommended this book so many times that we’re out of digits to tell you all the reasons we love it. But here are five.

First, Michelle Icard establishes herself from the very first page as a woman you can trust and want to share this journey with you. Warm and empathetic, Icard is also funny and real. You’ll wish you could invite her over for tea or, in Erin’s case, Diet Coke.

Second, as the creator of Athena’s Path and Hero’s Pursuit, social skills camps for middle school boy and girls, Icard has tons of real, practical solutions to share for lots of common middle school issues.

Third, we love this book’s central theme of shifting your parenting to the role of assistant manager. It’s such a recognizable, perfect metaphor for how your role needs to change during these years and she explains just how to do this perfectly.

Fourth, one of the best pieces of advice Erin ever received about parenting this age was to remain neutral when receiving information. Icard has given a great name to this strategy, “Botox Brow”, and she weaves in stories, examples, and advice for how to pull off this essential coping skill.

Fifth, Icard likes kids, even middle schoolers. We have that in common. She shifts the paradigm and the assumption that there is something wrong with kids at this age. Kids are just fine, but the way we have been dealing with them at this age has to change. She then goes on to give a ridiculous amount of ways to do help do this.

Honestly, we could go on, but you should just fire up the old credit card and order this one for yourself now.

So there you go: a collection of parenting books to keep you company through the next few years. Short of an endless supply of calorie-free chocolate, it’s the best option.

Of course, another great option is to listen to us talk a little about our experiences with middle schoolers.

Don’t forget to listen to our latest podcast!

Happy Tweening and Teening!

-Erin and Ellen

Got Tweens and Teens? Have we got a reading list AND podcast for you!

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School Pictures Can Suck It

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It was as beautiful a fall morning as ever there was. A ray of sun filtered through Erin’s kitchen window spotlighting the telephone handset resting on the table. The two friends were uncharacteristically quiet as they sipped their coffee and the cat curled up on Ellen’s lap.

The phone rang and time seemed to slow down.

“Well, answer it. You know your voicemail is full and they won’t be able to leave a message,” Ellen said.

Erin punched the button and lifted it to her ear. Even so, Ellen could hear, “Congratulations, your loan has been approved.” The radiant smile on Erin’s face confirmed what she overheard. Ellen leapt to her feet, unceremoniously tipping the cat to the floor, to give her friend a hug.

Ellen proclaimed, “Halleluiah, the kids can their get school pictures taken!”

Erin– Well, at least that is how it feels. I have FIVE kids. Five kids, people, and a father who adores school pictures. I take beautiful shots of my kids at the beach and the park. They are natural and expressive photographs and he likes them, but he LOVES the pictures taken by “professionals” in front of official backgrounds.

Ellen– You mean the lapis lazuli vomit swirl background? Really?

Erin– Something about the official-ness of it must speak to his judicially ordered heart and we get the full package for him: the 8 x10 for the homestead stairwell and the 5 x7 for the courthouse office. We spare no expense for the big man.

Ellen – Well, at least someone likes them. I swear I spend a fortune every year, and they just sit in my china cabinet undistributed. This partly due to the fact that they just aren’t a good product, but, to be honest, I let some things slip through the cracks too. I just feel so guilty if I don’t purchase them, like I’m making some larger public statement about how much I love and value my kids.

Erin– I got your guilt. This, from Eddie’s teacher, who laid down the guilt gauntlet real good: “Just because he is the fifth child doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy the picture package.”

Ellen – Ouch!

Erin– Oh, it gets better. I caved and paid for the pictures. Then. . .

“Everyone had wonderful pictures! You are going to be so excited to see them.” Long pause. “Except for Eddie. We had to take his picture 35 times. The entire class was late to library because of it.”

Ellen– Did you get the bonus didn’t-want-to-make-eye-contact-staring-awkwardly-and-silently-at-the-ground pantomime from the rest of the moms because you were being scolded?

Erin– The end result was just as I predicted: a sourpuss picture of a disgruntled kid. I can get that any day of the week just by telling him no. I don’t need it staring out of a frame at me.

Ellen – I know that look. He seems to get it when we mention blogging, too. Poor tortured soul.

Erin – But the real not-so-subliminal message to the world that we might not have our shizz together came when my fourth child had his picture taken . . . in his sports goggles. My sons, the future Rhodes Scholars, decided to play war THE NIGHT BEFORE class pictures, and, as any parent with 15 minutes of experience could tell you, things got ugly. And fast.

Luckily, the only casualties were Deacon’s glasses and my patience.

Ellen– Luckily, really!?! That seems to be an understatement, Pollyanna.

Erin– Okay, we weren’t really lucky. Deacon’s eyes cross without his corrective eyewear, so a pic without glasses was never an option. I called the optometrist, but I can still hear them chuckling at the ridiculousness of my emergency request of making super special prescription glasses in 30 minutes. That’s right. I could hear THEM sharing the can-you-believe-what-this-crazy-mom-just-asked laugh—it was worthy of a group giggle.

My last resort without time or luck on our side were his sports goggles. His big, black, thick goggles complete with strap around the back. While I may cherish this picture and the fond, fond memories it brings, the other moms definitely looked askance at me after that and offered up fashion advice and lots of it.

Erin models the goggles. Saying, “Not tonight honey,” without saying a word.

Ellen – The pressure of the class picture can make you crack. And you just keep telling yourself that message is subliminal. Those bad boys shout out, “This family is really just a steaming ball of hot mess.” Those pictures can’t be hidden in the china closet. They are up for worldwide distribution.

Erin– No one is feeling you more than me right now, Sister.

Ellen– There is the whole what to wear thing EVEN when there is no vanity involved. I’m not talking prissy girls throwing tantrums because they don’t have a shirt to perfectly match the blue of their eyes. I’m talking school-wants-to-make-everything-a-pain-in-my tuckus -because-no-one can-crosscheck-a-calendar.

School Admins: Ruining Mornings Since Little House on the Prairie

Erin – I’m just gonna say it OUT LOUD: Jostens and Lifetouch are the cartels, but the schools are the Dr. Evil kingpins pulling the strings and making us dance.

Ellen – For real! For this round of pictures, we got the form for pictures three days before the big day. With Spirit Week, Homecoming, and Halloween gobbling up October, this did not jump to the top of my priority list.

Flash to the morning of pictures and Jellybean comes down dressed like a hobo ready to clean out the garage.

“Honey, today is picture day. Why are you wearing old sweat pants?”

Jellybean-“Because it is the fitness test today in gym.”

Seriously, I’m shelling out $30 for pictures (cheapest substantial package) and the school scheduled the fitness test on the same day?

“Honey, they are taking the CLASS picture today. We can’t have you distributed to multiple households looking like a refugee or one of Erin’s offspring. What about that cute dress you wore on vacation?”

Jellybean- (possibly a little tearful from me calling her a refugee) “But we have to do push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups. I can’t wear a skirt!”

Ellen- “So what time is gym?”

Jellybean – “First period.”

Of course it is.

Ellen- “So you’re telling me that no matter what you wear, you’ll be a hot mess anyway by the time pictures roll around?”

Oy.

Ellen– So tick tock goes the clock, we go upstairs and settle on a embellished tank with a sweater, jeans, and Converse. Whatever, I surrender. The kicker? The gym teacher was absent so the fitness test was cancelled. Winner? The school for messing up my morning for no reason except its own evil entertainment.

Erin – Seriously, we have 7 kids between us so the complaints and reminiscing could go on forever. Let’s not forget that school pictures cornered you into highlighting Coco’s hair. But you do have to love the comedy in school pictures, too and what’s more entertaining than sharing OUR throwbacks to school picture days gone by.

Ellen – Are we really doing this?

Erin – I modeled the sports goggles. My pride is not an issue for this post.

Erin

Ellen – One of the first things Erin said when she handed me this picture? “Can you believe they didn’t even straighten my necklace?” Yes, that was exactly the first thing I was incredulous about.

Erin – Whatever. Your turn.

Ellen – I’m actually proud about how far I have come.

Erin – You should be.

Ellen’s 7th Grade Picture. Believe me, the resolution is good enough.

Ellen – So clearly Erin is classier than me. I chose the group picture because I was not going down alone. We will close with Josten’s Mission Statement because, really, I would like for the whole blogosphere to tell them to suck it.

Erin – Just one more thing I would like to add: Creating images that will cause your offspring to roll on the floor laughing at you with glee in their eyes. Have at them, Blogosphere!

Great school pictures that don’t cost a fortune? Not gonna happen. Suck it, School Pictures!

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Echo by Pam Munoz Ryan

Wolf Hollow by Lauren Wolk

A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park

Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor

The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett

Red Kayak by Priscilla Cummings

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Out of My Mind by Sharon M. Draper

The Raft by S.A. Bodeen

Divergent by Victoria Roth

The Falconer’s Knot: A Story of Friars, Flirtation and Foul Play by Mary Hoffman

The Shadow Children, the Complete Series: Among the Hidden; Among the Impostors; Among the Betrayed; Among the Barons; Among the Brave; Among the Enemy; Among the Free by Margaret Peterson Haddix

Fever 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson

THE WESTING GAME by Ellen Raskin

When Life Gives You O.J. by

Nerd Camp by Elissa Brent Weissman

Three Times Lucky by Sheila Turnage

Spy School by Stuart Gibbs

Happy reading!

-Erin and Ellen

1. TV/Movie High School bears little resemblance to the actual halls you will walk for the next four years.

2. Plan their escape route before they need one.

3. Trust is earned.

4. High School is a great time to explore and try new things.

5. Be your best self.

7. Encourage the buddy system.

8. The life you are supposed to have will not pass you by.

9. Dream Big, but Work Hard

10. Get Moving

In all honesty, high school is a juggernaut on fast forward.

Best of luck in this exciting new phase!

-Erin and Ellen

1) Shift gears.

2) Trust But Verify.

3) Speak often but put down your stick.

4) Follow the Golden Rule.

-Erin and Ellen

Training Wheels for Responsibility

Ellen’s Focus for Five

Erin’s Backpack Tags

1) It’s not THE TALK.

2) Talk early.

3) Give them bite-sized nuggets.

4) Drop the euphemisms.

5) Follow their lead.

6) Respect their privacy.

7) Educate yourself.

8) When in doubt, start with a book.

9) Exhale.

-Ellen and Erin

-Ellen

—Erin and Ellen

Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World by Rosalind Wiseman

Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman

The Wonder of Boys by Michael Gurian

The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters by Michael Gurian

The Drama Years: Real Girls Talk About Surviving Middle School — Bullies, Brands, Body Image, and More by Haley Kilpatrick

Middle School Makeover: Improving the Way You and Your Child Experience the Middle School Years by Michelle Icard

Of course, another great option is to listen to us talk a little about our experiences with middle schoolers.

Don’t forget to listen to our latest podcast!

Happy Tweening and Teening!

-Erin and Ellen

Click the podcast below to hear us talk about our experiences in the middle school years!

A Lon g Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park