Tag Archives: holidays

10 Valentine’s Day Cliches We Are Totally Over

Here’s the deal. Between January 31st and February 11th, both of us have birthdays, and so do our husbands. By the time Valentine’s Day rolls around we are pretty much over it. Plus, it is soooooo hard to find our guys that many gifts in a row. Sure we wrote a gift guide for guys, BUT we already have all of that stuff.

Now don’t go calling us the Grinches of Valentine’s Day. We’re just tired of spending and doing by the time the 14th rolls round. Seriously, it’s hard enough mustering enthusiasm for birthdays once you high-five forty, but birthdays lurking along less than 50 days after Christmas? Meh. And then Valentine’s Day about a week later? Put a fork in us because we are DONE.

We are so done, in fact, that the clichés of Valentine’s Day make us want to hurt cupid with his own stupid bow and arrows. What clichés are we referring to? Basically everything clogging your Pinterest feed and ours. We like to call it Pintershizz. Here, we’ll elaborate . . .

10 Valentine’s Day Clichés That Are Pintershizz

1. Going out to dinner

Does this surprise you? In theory it sounds good and we do love date nights with our husbands. However, Valentine’s Day is like amateur night: the menus are often fixed, the prices are hiked, and the service is lousy because the poor wait staff is running ragged scattering those rose petals over champagne toasts. Give us a random Friday night out instead and we’ll swoon. Plus, Ellen still hasn’t gotten over the memory of the V-Day about 21 years ago when she and her husband got the worst case of food poisoning they have ever endured. The restaurant was named Il Fiore, but will forever be known as The ILL Fiore to Ellen and Frank.

You might consider al fresco dining as a way to beat the crowds, but it is February, People. A table for two outside can quickly turn into gurneys for two in the Emergency Room. Because frostbite. Unless you’re in the tropics and then why are you reading this post? It’ gorgeous, get outside. Pinterest source.

2. Flowers

Okay, now maybe we ARE vying for the title of “Grinches of Valentine’s Day,” but flowers on V-day just seem so trite, and well, easy. And oh my goodness, they are expensive. Just surprise us with daisies on a sunny day in June and use the rest of the flower fund to make us some spare keys for our vans so we have a 60% chance of getting out of the house on time.

Get a bonus King Kong sized box of Claritin if you order right now with promo code: thismakesmethinkyouareguiltyaboutsomething. Pinterest source.

3. Torture devices passing as sexy

Okay, we like sexy just as much as the next girl, but if it is going to cause us the discomfort of a thousand cactus needles being shoved under our fingernails while simultaneously enduring Justin Beiber piped directly into our craniums, then you can just throw that mess onto the Pintershizz pile, too.

On second thought, maybe these will keep Pushy Peggy from running up on our junk in the Walmart checkout line. Pinterest source.

4. Lingerie

C’mon. Who’s the lingerie really for? Is it really a gift for us? See above if you’ve forgotten that quickly how we feel about sexy items passing for torture devices. Take Granny’s advice—nothing says sexy louder than a girl who is comfortable in her own ~~skin~~ panties—emphasis on the comfortable.

Is it underwear or washable birth control? Pinterest source.

5. Man Costumes

No!! Just because we said that lingerie was not exactly a gift for us, we didn’t mean our men had to dress up! This does not qualify as a gift either . . . although there is the gift of laughter to consider.

Want to see my toaster strudel? Pinterest source.

6. Geekery Fashion

We know we’ve just been yucking it up with the granny panties and with lederhosen, but Valentine’s Day really isn’t the time for gag gifts. If it makes you snicker in the store, just walk away or throw it on the Pintershizz bonfire.

It’s a puzzle, it’s a purse, no, it’s a bad idea. Pinterest source.

7. Things to Make Homemaking Easier

Get it together! No appliances are to be given on Valentine’s Day! Even a vacuum this cool can’t get you out of the doghouse . . . unless it comes with a FULL-TIME housekeeper à la The Brady Bunch. So to clarify: any appliance without an “Alice” is Pintershizz.

The only thing that will be wanted if we receive appliances for Valentine’s Day is us . . . for murder. Pinterest source.

8. Sweets

We can hear you saying, “What is wrong with you two? What is so bad about candy on Valentine’s Day?” Well, let’s just say we’ve been working really hard trying to beat the post-40 bulge and we don’t actually want to fit into those granny panties.

Nope. No jewelry in here, only diabeetus. Pinterest source.

9. The Love Toilet

Do we really have to explain why this is Pintershizz? C’mon, you’re better than that!

What better way to spend $1400 than to pave your way to divorce court? Pinterest source.

10. The Wine Purse

What did we say about tacky gag gifts . . . wait a minute. This is pure genius! Write this one down.

Making friends at PTA meetings since 2014. Pinterest source.

So what will we accept on Valentine’s Day since we have just poo-pooed a ton of the classics and then some? Well, we’d never turn away jewelry.

Earrings always fit no matter how much Halloween/Christmas/Valentine’s Day candy you indulge in. Pinterest source.

Unless it looks like this! Get your head in the game!

Their dreams of us making supplemental income as voodoo priestesses are just gonna have to die. Maybe we could sell their baseball cards instead? Pinterest source.

The direct route to the romance-filled center of our hearts? A night away—No! A weekend away!—fully planned by our hubbies INCLUDING arrangements for the kids and pets. That last piece of planning is what makes this the true gift of romance. Can we get an “Amen”? But even the gazillion points they would earn by scheduling babysitting would be cancelled out if they took us here.

Nothing is more romantic than hanky-panky in a drainpipe. Pinterest source.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the oh-so-easy-to-please Sensible Sisterhood!

We are totally over these Valentine’s Day cliches. How about you?

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9 Reasons to Embrace That Ten(ish) Extra Pounds of Fluffiness

You’re welcome for the spin doctoring!

Ellen and Erin

Acceptance is the new resolution! 9 Reasons to Embrace that 10(ish) extra pounds of fluffiness.

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Why I Won’t Be Making a New Year’s Resolution This Year

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I can’t make a resolution this year. Most of them end up solidly under the category of best intentions rather than checked off the old to do list anyway. But my Pollyanna nature adores a clean slate and the hopeful cheery optimism that lies at the heart of every resolution.

Unfortunately, resolutions in any capacity are just not in the cards for me this year. This past holiday season, I was a little nostalgic. My oldest son is graduating from high school this year and that seemed to make every twinkly light shine a little brighter, every Christmas song a little more meaningful, every moment a little more poignant. Maybe my sister was right and I was not merely a tad sentimental, as I’d like to think, so much as splashing big buckets of sap everywhere. But, in any case, I tried to be present in a way that I usually am not for every bauble, bow, and baked good.

From the silly . . .

to the sentimental . . .

to the sweet . . .

to the aw, shucks . . .

. . . I was drinking in every moment and trying to burn every memory onto my post-forty-addled brain.

This is why there will be no resolutions for me this year. Resolutions say “I want to try something shiny and new” or “I want to be someone shiny and new” or “I want to go somewhere shiny and new.” I don’t really. Not this year anyway. I’ll be doing all these things this year even if I don’t want to and I’ll be doing them all as my heart alternates between breaking and bursting.

My son will be going to college—as he should, as we want him to, as he deserves to, as he is ready to. But that doesn’t mean I’m chomping at the bit to see him take this next step. It doesn’t mean I’m intent to see our time together in the easy, lovely cocoon of our family end so soon.

Such is a mom’s life, of course. I have bucked and bent at some of the other big changes over the years. I was the mom who cried when he got on the bus in kindergarten and I wrung my hands as he started high school. But we both survived those and I know we will get to the other side of this too.

This year I will be trying on the label of mother to a young man instead of a boy. I already feel the sea change starting within me that will have to happen to make it easier. I will learn to breathe and talk and just be when we are not sharing the same physical address even though the very idea of it right now seems hard to grasp.

So I just can’t resolve to be anything more than all that will be asked of me this year. It will be enough for all of us to see this amazing thing he will do, to see the beginnings of all that he will be, and to celebrate each little step along the way.

So I will try the shiny new things he needs me to try and be the new thing that I will need to be for him. I will go to the places he needs me to go, but that is all I can promise.

And that seems quite enough for this year.

—Erin

Who has time for New Year’s Resolutions when everything is changing? #college #teens

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How A Concussion, A Tree, and A Trip to NYC Saved My Holiday Sanity

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I struggled with that title a bit because we try to keep it PG around here, you know, for the children. Let’s just say this has been the season of “effits” for me. And it has saved my sanity this Christmas.

It all started with the tree. Wait, that’s not right. It all started right before Thanksgiving with the concussion my youngest daughter was gifted from an accidental punch to the head during handball in gym class. It was worse than at first perceived, and she had to be on complete stimulation lockdown: no music, no texting, NO SCREENS, no reading, no games, no puzzles, no nothing–except talking to her mother in a darkened room . . . and coloring. It was like the worst grounding ever for any thirteen-year-old, except my thirteen-year-old was about to turn fourteen. We had to reschedule her birthday party, too. The sadness was palpable.

This is how I entered Thanksgiving where I also had to make the entire dinner from soup to nuts, as Erin likes to say. Hallmark did not have a card to express my Grinch-esque holiday spirit because they apparently like to keep it PG, too.

But I wasn’t just feeling overwhelmed by worry for my injured daughter and the responsibility of orchestrating a glutinous meal; this was my second year without my mother. I look back on last year and marvel at the way I soldiered through the holidays. I must have been functioning on muscle memory because I was numb. Whereas last year I was wrapped in a muffling quilt of grief, this year I was acutely aware of every moment and nuance of her absence.

So with this curmudgeon essence coursing through my veins, I launched into the first of my effits: “It’s the weekend after Thanksgiving and we’re getting the tree.”

I know this does not seem like much of a stand. Many people decorate their trees that weekend–their ARTIFICIAL trees. But we get a real tree, and we like to keep it up until New Year’s . . . and we can’t be trusted to take it down on New Year’s. In a totally related side note, I have a history of scooping pine needles out of my family room with a snow shovel.

But my baby needed something to distract her from her canceled party, and picking out a Christmas tree at dusk seemed within the realms of non-stimulating activities.

After that baby step of an effit, they continued to flow! I didn’t care what tree we picked out. We were together. Without my guidance it took forever. But whatever, we were grabbing some joy. When my oldest pointed out that half of our family unit was settling on a crooked tree with a bubble butt, I did not enter the fray. I mean, the thing only tipped over once while we were decorating it, but who cares because I was there to break the fall. So behold our tree anchored to the wall with a “ledge” so large we nestled a papier-mâché cat on it to detract from it. It really is the Kim Kardashian of trees.

How A Concussion, A Tree, and A Trip to NYC Saved My Holiday Sanity -- A procrastinator is forced into reform! -- Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

I really did miss an opportunity to set up a champagne fountain. At least the star is slowly sliding down to earth.

But besides pine needles embedded into my eardrum, I got this takeaway:

Sanity Saver #1: It doesn’t matter what the dead tree we are destined to mulch in four (or six) weeks looks like! Martha Stewart has always ~~ignored~~ declined my invitations to date anyway.

I took this calendar-defying decorating miracle one step further and decked the whole house! My first realization of how other (organized) people live hit me on the head like chestnuts flung by a mischievous Elf on the Shelf.

Sanity Saver #2: Decorating the house before December opens up that whole month to be jammed packed with all of the concerts, parties, baking, and fa la la-ing.

In the past, I had always wanted to have my youngest’s birthday party before decorating, because kids are destructive, yo. This led to me squeezing in the decorating when I could and sometimes left us tree-less into the third week. But she is now a teen, and all they do is hole up in the basement. From now on, decorating is taking place in November and partying is getting pushed into December. Thank you concussion for foiling my procrastination?

Then in true Christmas miracle fashion, a second procrastination buster entered my life in the form of a simple dinner invitation. A friend was flying in to visit family in New York City, and sent out a message asking if any locals could meet for dinner. I raised my hand! I am not local. I am three hours away from NYC. I said effit I am going anyway.

I could not turn my back on this happenstance because the invitation was for December 22nd, the time my mother would have come up to join in all of our Christmas preparations.

Sanity Saver #3: I have found the best way to grab joy over grief is to shake myself out of the groove that highlights Mom’s absence and surround myself with people who feed my soul. Friends are the family you choose.

One of my dear friends, who actually was local, offered to have me spend the night, and I had one of the loveliest evenings filled with good food, and even better laughter. Breaking bread with intelligent, interesting women is a gift.

Ah, but I had labeled this invitation as a procrastination buster too. In order for me to enjoy myself, I needed to have Christmas ready to go. In an unprecedented move, I had all of my shopping done and all of the gifts wrapped by December 21st.

Sanity Saver #4: Not leaving the wrapping until 10 pm on December 24th allows you to actually enjoy Christmas Eve and prevents zombie eyes in the Christmas morning pictures.

It’s not that I always wanted to wrap on Christmas Eve, it’s just that wrapping seemed like the task that could be pushed off until the end.

If this were a Christmas special, a Claymation snowman would come out to tie this up in a shiny bow, but I have to admit my ribbon is a little crumpled. I may have still had to stay up until 1:30 am on Christmas Eve because I was a little too cocky about having the wrapping done, and failed to gauge the time it would take to make the awesome Pumpkin French Toast Casserole I found on Pinterest.

However, I still don’t regret the time I spent snuggling with my family watching A Charlie Brown Christmas instead of clanking around in the kitchen. But I have seen the light because I now realize why organized people are so self-congratulatory. It feels good! God willing, I will rock the holidays even better next year. My family deserves a Stress-Diminished Ellen for Christmas.

-Ellen

Miracles are everywhere. How a concussion, a tree, and a NYC trip saved holiday sanity.

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It Really IS a Wonderful Life

Have the Merriest of Christmases—Erin

Remember, George: no man is a failure who has friends.–Clarence

A dad, a boy with #autism and a Christmas wish that will bring back your Christmas spirit

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*I wrote two other posts about Dylon and his family here and here.

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Relax Internet, It’s Just A Gift Guide

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It appears a little cubby hole of the Internet is roasting us like chestnuts over an open fire.

Is it over our piece about the burden on society when parents don’t teach their kids to do chores?

No.

Is it over our call to action to stop judging mothers over how much and well they cherish motherhood?

Nope.

Is it over Ellen’s commentary about the Goldieblox ad boiling down to a sort of reverse discrimination against females?

Well, there was that one commenter on the Huffington Post Parents Facebook page who called Ellen and her daughters “a bag of rocks,” but mostly the responses were positive.

Is it over Ellen’s viral post on vaccinations?

Oh yeah, that did stir the pot, but that was awhile ago.

No, our fine friends, we are currently being lambasted for OUR GIFT GUIDES.

See, our gift guides were featured on CNN.com We even got two slides! But it was our board game suggestions that made BoardGameGeek.com lash out like Munchkins with battleaxes.

We are being called antiquated sexists because Would You Rather was listed on the Teen Girl Guide and The Settlers of Catan was listed on the Teen Guy Guide. The comments are fairly vehement, but most didn’t feel strongly enough to leave anything but fake names like “Shame on you” and “Mrs. Mystery Bob.”

“Shame on you for maintaining sterotypes [sic] and suggesting that great boatdgames [sic] are for “boys only”. My daughters love Pandemic, Catan, and Munchkin. It shocks me to see such sexism on this website. You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“The boys get Catan & Pandemic, and the girls get Would you Rather? I guess my mom is more sensible than you claim to be. Did you know it’s 2014?”

“Would You Rather is a terrible choice for a board game. There is no reason why teen boys would enjoy more serious fare, while teen girls are stuck playing a game with no thinking involved. Poor, sexist choice. I expected better from this site.”

Yeah, it’s just awful when games and activities are fun. You’re right. Ellen’s daughter should definitely not have a choice to relax with some silliness after studying for AP calculus and biology all week long.

And then there was this:

“I find this list strange and a bit sad. First of all, as a mom of a young teen, I know fully well what her interests and preferences are like and can assure you that nothing on this list would interest her. I know the books and subjects she enjoys, the music and movies she prefers, and the personal care items and clothing styles she likes. What kind of parent doesn’t know their child or take the trouble to get to know them and these details? Certainly not a sensible parent.

Secondly, as an avid gamer I can assure you that “Would you rather?” is an humorous activity and not really a game and that Eat Poop You Cat or Werewolf are miles better fun activities than that title.

My daughter loves games and they include Hive, YINSH, TZAAR, Morels, The Little Prince: Make me a Planet, K2, Hoppladi Hopplada, Lakota, Dixit, and Ticket to Ride. I did buy her a boardgame for the holidays. I bought her 1911 Amundsen vs Scott (because she saw the video of it and was very interested).

This list is offense to independent females everywhere and only serves to perpetuate stereotypes of “Girls like XYZ” and Boys like ABC” and never the two shall meet.

Would you honestly rather ask lame questions of each other or sit down to race to the South Pole?

These lists do more harm than good, IMHO.

And moms, if you don’t know anything about your daughter, don’t buy a gift off of a “Best gifts for my daughter” list, chances are the gift will fail as children are not “one size fits all”. Take the opportunity to speak and share with her and discover what makes her tick, what excites her, what she fears, and what she dreams. That will be a win-win for you both. If not………buy her a gift card which is ALWAYS a welcome gift. [spelling and grammar their own]”

We are sad and doing harm. With gift guides. But the real message is either know your teens really well . . . or just get them gift cards.

And they’re serious about this. They are now tweeting the message forum thread link at us. Yeah, we know there’s a thread with over a hundred posts bashing us or discussing various gender issues. We saw it already because we know how Google and IP addresses work.

There were great comments like this on the thread:

“Really annoyed me to see this kind of sexism being perpetuated STILL. Shame on you Sensible Soccer Moms. Girls like Pandemic, Settlers of Catan, and Munchkin, too. Boo.”

Because apparently making gift guides for girls is bad, but stereotyping us as Soccer Moms and implying it is an insult is okay? So what’s the cut-off age for championing females? We’re not sure, but we’re going to assume it is way before 40.

And then there was this one:

“You know what’s not sensible? A ridiculous URL like that.”

Ouch. Ellen hasn’t encountered that brand of hate since she first started dating her to-be-husband and his ex-girlfriend told her she had an ugly name. To quote T Swift, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.”

So here are the six diabolical steps behind these polarizing gift guides.

A blogger friend told us gift guides are huge around the holidays.
We thought, “We have kids that like stuff. We could do gift guides.”
We picked things at varying, reasonable price points that were easy to order online.
All the gifts on the lists are things that our teens own that they have enjoyed.
Lists were shared with CNN.
And then we watched the world burn. Mwahahahaha!

So how did we decide to do two lists? Why would we do that? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT?!?!

Well, it all boils down to division of labor. There are two of us running this blog, so we made two lists. We worked on them separately, because that is how two people can get tasks done in half the time. Duh. What was REALLY important to us was that the items were things we authentically loved. We didn’t just pick random gifts off of Amazon. Ellen only has teen daughters so with this criteria, she was only qualified to recommend gifts for girls. Erin has a teen daughter and teen boys, but she took on the gift guide for boys. Because division of labor.

So if the Geeks had bothered to read Erin’s intro, she states:

“With four sons between the ages of 7 and 17, my house is a living laboratory of the modern American young man. With the holidays looming, people ask me often what might make a great gift for their favorite nephew/cousin/brother/godson. Of course, I have a teen daughter too and she loves a lot of this stuff too.”

So here are five truths, and three confessions that might further put this all in perspective. Perspective is so important . . . or so we’ve been told.

The Truths:

1. These are gift guides, not shopping lists. We are not commanding you to go out to the store and buy, Buy, BUY! If you find one item you like, SUCCESS! If you think the items are stupid, move onto the next gift guide. We wish you luck!

2. Ellen was pretty psyched about Erin’s list because it introduced her to “Pandemic.” It truly made her geeky M.D. senses tingle . Plus, she had the added smug satisfaction of picking it off of the boys list and smashing stereotypes! Winning!

3. Our kids have other things and interests beyond what is on those lists. In fact, they have such varied and expansive interests that no gift guide can contain them! Go figure.

For example, Ellen’s STEM track, robotics competing, fiction writing, Science Olympiad participating, Destination Imagination winning, musician daughters build Star Wars Legos, play basketball, volleyball, and tennis, and have a Nerf gun arsenal. Erin’s honor roll daughter is a story spinning, cross country running, marching band maestro who enjoys camping, Comic Con, and Settlers of Catan.

Relax Internet, it's just a gift guide: A forum group found our teen guy and girl gift guides and took us to task for separating the genders and for the things we recommended. What do you think? - Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen would never be so jerky as to recommend a $300 Legos Death Star that her daughter received from a benevolent uncle, and quite frankly, she doesn’t love the basketball net enough to endorse it.

And to the person who left this comment:

“Why are there no books listed for teenage boys?
Is it “sensible” for moms to want their boys to grow up to be uneducated and illiterate?
According to this list, all mom’s should strive to have dumb jocks for sons.”

Erins’s sons are busy being Boy Scouts, achieving the honor of Eagle Scout, serving as legislative pages, putting on plays for elementary school kids, performing in band . . . and reading.

All of our kids have read books from this list. But calm down because these are not the only books they have read. By far.

4. This was not a gift guide for younger children, it was for teens. Much of the ranting was how wrong it is that toys for young kids are separated by gender. We agree. But please note, Ellen is still going to stand by her choice that, in general, the curling iron she recommended is going to please a teenage girl–who likes that sort of thing–more than a fifteen year old guy.

5. This was not a comprehensive gift guide for board games. Not all games owned and loved were represented. Board Game Geek flaming us for not including all the games on our general gift guides is like us criticizing a board game guide for not including Nike Elite Socks.

Which leads us to The Confessions:

1. When Ellen first saw the comments coming in, she thought, “Huh, well this is silly because we have an ENTIRE cabinet full of games. I’ll just post a couple more “serious” games that we all enjoy. Well, apparently those choices weren’t good enough either. There must be secret, extra-judgy criteria for having fun that we don’t know about. But as a side note, if you wanted to brandish pitchforks for Chutes and Ladders, future generations might thank you.

“Was there a change in the matrix? Because right now the list also includes clue and risk.”

“Apparently there was. Since those definitely weren’t there to begin with. Although I think they’ve just gone for a bit of a cop out from the feedback and threw two of the most obvious ones there with some filler text and called it a day. Doesn’t address the original premise of the questions raised here, but I guess it’s a start.”

And as far as “ethics in journalism” being violated, we are constantly updating the guides as new gifts and items come into our lives. And once again, they are only GIFT GUIDES, not Congressional transcripts. But it’s a great idea to let people know we are periodically updating them so that they can come back. Thanks!

2. Ellen doesn’t really like games that take over 20 minutes to play. Gasp! Her favorites that violate this time limit are Clue and Parcheesi, but NEVER ask her how she feels about Monopoly. Trust us. Her personal preferences may have influenced how many games she included on her list. (How dare she!)

3. Erin makes up for Ellen’s ambivalence with her complete and utter LOVE of games! When she has to shoe horn seven people into a van for a seven hour drive to a week long vacation in the Outer Banks, she enthusiastically dedicates precious packing real estate to ALL of these.

Ellen’s daughter, who is currently reading The Crucible, put all this in perspective: “At least you aren’t being falsely accused of and persecuted for witchcraft.” Good point. With a tip of our hats to a famously maligned magical ice queen, we were going to just “Let it go” . . . but it didn’t feel right. Ellen is a strong believer that if you accept praise, you also have to accept criticism. We just did not want to publish the comments under the gift guides because they seemed unbalanced–with a non sequitur vibe– from people who did not read the text of the posts.

But there was something that really struck the match to our Bunsen burner. THIS:

“Oh dear. No matter which gender you are there appears to be socks on the list. What teen wants socks?!? (Yes, I’m being a bit of an age-ist… but as a teen and as an adult I never have had a more disappointing gift than a pair of sock – even my mom’s usual gift of a sock filled with fruit and nuts was more appreciated and desired.)”

Them’s fightin’ words! Someone clearly doesn’t know any adolescents well. We have teens. Who have teenage friends. And teens love socks. THE. END.

So what do you think??

-Ellen and Erin

Oh, the controversy! Relax Internet! It’s just a gift guide!

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Banish Holiday Stress (Tongue-In-Cheek Required)

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The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year or at least that’s what the song says. But as any angel-wing-making, pageant-attending, cookie-swap-baking parent knows, it can also be the most stressful time of year.

In fact, Ellen tweeted this just last week:

With seven busy kids between us, we certainly feel like the holidays can be more fraught than festive, and we are not alone.

Check this out:

Click here to see more of the resources and research Responsibility.org has to offer.

It’s enough to make a girl want to stuff those stockings where the sun doesn’t shine . . . so what to do? The number one piece of advice is to prioritize what is important, but the mere thought of making a list at this time of year could bring out your inner Ebenezer Scrooge. Before you say, “Bah, Humbug!”, check out the one we made for you.

Top Ten Ways to Banish Holiday Stress

1. Drape your philodendron with tinfoil and call it a day.

2. In fact, instead of decorating your house, hand out sunglasses with red and green lenses as people walk through your door.

3. Box up the sugar snap peas you forgot to serve at Thanksgiving instead of baking cookies.

4. Smear store-bought frosting on shoe boxes instead of making gingerbread houses.

5. Give gifts in the shopping bags they came in.

6. Better yet, print out certificates announcing you “bought” everyone stars for Christmas. No need to go through that process of really purchasing them. Who would know?

7. Burn your Elf on the Shelf! Saves the stress of THAT daily grind and saves on chopping fire wood.

8. Skip the lines at the mall. Photoshop your kid on Santa’s lap and send her an email from Saint Nick.

9. Pizza for Christmas dinner!

10. Unfriend all your “friends” on Facebook. You do not need that brand of humblebrag in your life.

So you get the picture: ’tis the season to lighten up if you want to make it to the new year with your sanity. But what’s a girl really to do?

Sitting down to make a plan really is worth the time it takes. Start with deciding what will make your holidays joyful and jettison the rest. Streamline where you can, learn how to say “no,” and be prepared. This could mean creating a binder for holiday recipes, generating a Christmas card list with pre-printed labels, or even settling for the store-bought cookies. If your goal is a happy, healthy, sane Momma this season, it’s worth slowing down for a few minutes to see what you can scoot off of your brimming plate.

Another way to relieve stress is to plan ahead to avoid making important decisions in the middle of your time to unwind with family and friends. Let fun be fun! For starters, you can think about how to get home safely from all of those super fun holiday parties. According to research by Responsibility.org, 60% of Americans report that alcohol is a part of their family traditions around the holidays, while only 47% plan ahead for transportation when hosting or attending parties. A shocking 32% say they rarely or never plan ahead for transportation. So while you’re slowing down to plan, sip some cocoa, sing along with Bing, and come up with a designated driver plan. Your family will thank you for keeping yourself and everybody else on the road safe.

Tips for Managing Holiday Stress--Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
And while we are talking about what’s going to keep you happy and healthy this season, don’t forget to focus on the fun things you enjoy about the season. If frosting the perfect sugar cookie is what makes you merry, that is what you keep. If sharpening your skates for an afternoon worthy of a Hans Christian Anderson story fills your heart with joy, remind yourself to make the time to do it. Focusing on what you really love is an easy way to keep you feeling festive instead of fried.

Don’t forget to fire up your sense of humor too. That’s what our tongue-in-cheek list was for. A little laughter can go a long way in preserving your feelings of goodwill to all. Gifts may be threatening a hostile take-over of your bedroom, your hand may be cramping from writing Christmas cards, and the be-decking of your halls might be transforming into something other than a Hallmark movie, but a light heart can help you see the fa-la-la in the midst of the potential fiasco.

But seriously, if you feel the need to give that darn Elf the boot this year, we won’t tell anyone. In fact, we’ll cheer you on. Think of it as our gift to you.

-Erin and Ellen

Need to relieve some holiday stress? We have a few suggestions. Tongue-in-cheek required.

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Responsibility.org sponsored this post for #TalkEarly, but all opinions, discussions, and humorous suggestions about how to keep your sanity this season are all uniquely our own.

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The Script for Saying No! Let it No!

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The holiday crush is upon us: cards, concerts, parties, cookies, cooking, shopping, wrapping, sending, decorating, decking, caroling . . .

Let it No!

Ellen: I can’t decide it if I want that to be sung to the Frozen “Let it Snow!” or the more classic “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.”

Erin: I say stick with the classic Dean-o.

Ellen: Dean-o?

Erin: Dean Martin. Classic over cute, for sure, but I find it amazing that at a time like this, with all we have to prioritize, you’re focusing on that. There is no time for that kind of waffling during the yuletide onslaught.

Ellen: Well, you’re going to love this sidetrack Imma gonna jump on that will eventually loopty loop around to my main point. But anyway, I would like to address that I am sick of the being called amazing.

Erin: Yeah, it’s awful being called nice things.

Ellen: No! “Amazing” is a crime against womanhood that is wrapped in sheep’s clothing. About 0.001% of the time, “You’re amazing!” is a true compliment. The other 99.999% of the time it translates into “Boy, I’m glad you’re here to do that turd sandwich of a job because I wouldn’t want to do it.”

Erin: Now that I think of it, “You’re amazing” does sound an awful lot like “We’ve got ourselves a world-class sucker on the line.”

Ellen: Uh huh. The other day I was asked how I was doing by someone who probably didn’t want to know, but I responded honestly, because I needed to relieve the pressure valve.

Erin: That will teach her.

Ellen: Truth. I said that I was overwhelmed by my lack of help because of my husband’s injured foot, by my worry over my daughter’s concussion, by my continuing grief over my mom’s death; and that making Thanksgiving dinner–by myself–might throw me over the edge. And that was the short list. She replied, “You’ll manage to get it all done because you are amazing!”

I asked, “But how?”

She just circled back, “You always get everything done. You’re amazing!”

It’s just like I said: “amazing” is a trap.

Erin: You know what they say, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.”

Ellen: Did you know the internet attributes that quote to both Benjamin Franklin AND Lucille Ball? What the heck?

Erin: I feel like we are having a very Freaky Friday moment here. You’re jumping all over the place like an elf mainlining syrup. That’s usually my job.

Ellen: Right. I promised I would loopty loop back to the main point: Let it No!

Erin: Oh, thank goodness, now my world can stop tilting on its axis, but back to MY point: people will continue to pile jobs on your plate like a paleo disciple falling off the wagon at a pizza buffet. You have to have a strategy to stop the abuse.

Ellen: Exactly! That is why your formula for saying “no” is a lifesaver. You changed my life when you shared this nugget of wisdom. It is just so magical. It shows respect while still making it clear that you really mean no. There’s nothing worse as a chairperson than being strung along with maybes and half-hearted commitments.

Erin: Being strung up by a disgruntled committee member might rank higher on the “worse” scale, but I see your point. Now is not the time to spend your precious minutes where they aren’t appreciated.

Ellen: If there was ever a time to rediscover the power of “No”, this would be it.

How to Graciously Say “No”

Say, for example, you’re earnestly asked by your neighbor’s Aunt Judy to knit a gross of scooper cozies for underprivileged dog walkers. Here’s how to decline in such a way that Judy is not inspired to leave a flaming bag of poo on your doorstep.

1. Thank the person. (We know, right!) “Thank you for asking me to knit scooper cozies.”

We definitely don’t want you to be insincere, but this generally stuns people into silence.

2. Compliment them. “You do such a great job of making sure dog walkers are comfortable and stylish.”

Once again, sincerity is key. This person most definitely does need to be thanked. They’re giving their time for something they believe in.

3. Compliment them again and then just say no. “And while you do such a wonderful job, I must say no because I don’t have the time to devote to your project.”

This is sheer perfection: to the point, honest, and, most importantly, does not leave even a whisker of wheedle room.

Erin: So no more hemming and hawing! No more stumbling over excuses! And more importantly, no more looking like or feeling like a Grinchy Claus for saying no.

Save your best self for the people who will really appreciate it. The holidays can only be as happy as the Momma who brings the magic.

Ellen: But the key is to practice! Get yourself in front of a mirror and rehearse this script.

Erin: Every good actor has to practice her script. Those words have to roll off of your tongue for them to be sincere and to not leave further room for begging. It’s also best to have your mouth set on the “no” auto-pilot when they corner you at the Christmas Bazaar and ask for your help next year.

Ellen: One “uh” cracks open the door to your heart of gold that really wants to help everyone.

Erin: Just remember there are only 24 hours in a day and you can’t do all things AND do everything well.

Ellen: Plus, there is a secret bonus to using this script; no one will be moved to call you amazing!

Erin: Now THAT is amazing!

Now is the time to learn the real magic of the season: How to Say No!

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Great Gifts for Teen Guys

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With four sons between the ages of 7 and 17, my house is a living laboratory of the modern American young man. With the holidays looming, people ask me often what might make a great gift for their favorite nephew/cousin/brother/godson. Of course, I have a teen daughter too and she loves a lot of this stuff too.

Lego, anything Doctor Who-related, and any kind of ball are always safe bets for the tween and younger teen. But what if you want or need some more ideas for your older teen? Here’s a list of great gifts for teen guys that should please nearly any boy (and some of the girls ) on your list, but most especially the ones that are also asking for Axe or car keys this Christmas.

For Boys in Motion

FORZA Soccer Goal 12×6
If you have a sports-loving kid, this is certain to put a smile on his face. We have already worn out one of these so this is topping my boys’ lists this year for sure.

Kan Jam Game Set

This was a huge hit at the beach last summer. My 17yo son put this at the top of his list this year.

ESPN Films 30 for 30: Complete Season 1
Watching these great sports films has become a mother/son bonding thing each week. Quality sports entertainment perfect for your sports-loving boy.

Youth Bow And Arrow Set-Air Storm Firetek Bow

Sure to secure your place as mom of the year with this one. These are the most fun, safe bow and arrow sets out there and they have LED lights so you can play at night. I almost cannot stand the awesome. Younger teen boys kind of lose their mind over this stuff.

Nerf CS-18 N-Strike Elite Rapidstrike

Nerf guns are a neighborhood staple and these are the best ones. Period. Reliable and quick, your favorite guy should dominate his next Nerf battle with this one. The 17yo said this would still be a winner.

ProSource Heavy-Duty Easy Gym Doorway Chin-Up/Pull-Up Bar

Big boys need an outlet. Short of installing a gym in your basement, this should do the trick.

Great Games

The Settlers of Catan
We love games to lure sulky teens back to the family fold. This is one of our favorites. Easy to learn, fairly quick (most games are done in a little over an hour) but interesting enough to survive a week long beach trip without getting boring. This is a game you will come back to time and again. A favorite for all of my kids—boys and girl alike!
Pandemic Board Game
Another great choice for family game night. My boys (and girl) love watching the disease hot spots pop up and I love how we assume different roles as disease-fighting specialists all working together to put out the hot spots. If the disease spreads, we all lose. If we contain the outbreak, we all win. Family fun and peace in one box. Fa-la-la-la-la.

Munchkin Deluxe

Tween boys lose their ever-loving minds over this game. At a price point under $30, it’s a great gift choice and with a gazillion add-on card packs, it’s a gift idea that you can recycle for his birthday as well. Keep this in mind for the younger set. It’s a winner.

Classic Parcheesi Board Game

All of the teens and tweens love this classic game. But you have to get the version with the animals. Nothing like having the camels and the water buffalo duke it out in the end. Trust us on this one.

Farkle Classic Dice Game

With a price point below $10, this one could be a great stocking stuffer or perfect for a gift exchange. We play this all summer long and during snow days. Super-fast and fun.

Tech Any Boy Would Love

Motorola MH230TPR Rechargeable Two Way Radio 3 Pack, FRS/GMRS

We gave these to the boys last Christmas, and they were a run-away hit. There are other two way radios of course, but these work up to 5 miles apart. My kids use them constantly.

Zoomer Zuppies Interactive Puppy – Spot
Boys and their dogs are not easily parted. If you are not ready to commit to the fuzzy, furry type, this one will certainly win you high fives on Christmas Day. Boys and tech are always a win! For younger teens, this is topping their list this Christmas.

JAM Classic Bluetooth Wireless Speaker (Blueberry) HX-P230BL
All of my kids LOVE their music, and this speaker is topping my 11yo’s list. Right now, he uses the computer to blast his tunes to help him through his chores. This will make his sound portable and shareable. A hit for all teens!

Just for Fun

Star Wars Command Millennium Falcon Set

A lot of boys love Star Wars and these command sets combine the appeal of army men with the classic movie. Any of the sets would be a winner, but we are partial to the Millennium Falcon. All boys love a toy, even big ones.

Nike Elite Basketball Crew

I don’t know why boys love these socks. They just do. Great Stocking Stuffers!

Polo Ralph Lauren Men’s Pony Logo Baseball Hat Cap

All of the senior boys I know have this on their list. Don’t question. Just surprise him with your awesomeness. Anything Ralph Lauren is good apparently.

Quadcopter

If your boy loves the radio-controlled genre of fun, this one is the MacDaddy of fun. It’s a remote-controlled helicopter with a camera. You will be getting high fives and hugs all season long.

Discovery Kids Night Vision Spy Goggles

Spy stuff is always a winner for the younger teen/tween set.

Teen Boys Play Video Games

FIFA 15 – Xbox 360

Yeah, we’re soccer dorks. This is my boys’ favorite game. Thanks, Grandma!

Mario Kart 8

One of the best video games to come out this year, this game that appeals to everyone would be a great gift.

Madden NFL 15

Every version of this game is pretty great, but this year’s upgrade does not disappoint.

Hope these ideas help you make your favorite teen guy’s Christmas extra-special this year. Of course, there might be some crossover potential for some of the girls on your list too!