This amazingly adorable Halloween treat is incredibly easy if, IF, you heed one crucial step. Follow along and you’ll be well on your way to delighting children of all ages. Seriously, being the “best mother ever,” (that was a direct quote) is just a trip to the donut shop away.
So I can hear what you’re thinking: “What directions could there possible be to follow? Get some donuts, candy eyes, icing, and vampire teeth and throw them all together.” Oh, simple one, I thought the same things, too. I saw the pictures floating around the internet and thought “I can do that.”
So I hit the shops to gather my ingredients, only when I got to Dunkin’ Donuts, they were a little low on donuts. Probably because it was 2:00 PM, but whatever. I had planned on getting three dozen chocolate glazed cake donuts because that was what my daughter requested, but alas, I had to make do with what the breakfast crowd left behind. I ended up with a dozen glazed and two other dozen cobbled together with chocolate glazed, pumpkin, and chocolate iced. I’ve learned as a mother to go with the flow because sometimes it’s the flow that keeps you afloat. You’ll see what I mean in a minute.
I had a speedier time in Michaels Craft Store. It being the first day of fall and all, the slime green icing, candy eyes, and vampire fangs were right up front. Yeah, nevermind they had been up front since August. I guess I should be glad they weren’t sold out.
In no time I was home and on my way to creating my cyclops monsters . The first box of donuts I opened happened to be the complete dozen of glazed.
I soon figured out it was helpful to pinch the fangs like so to insert them into the center.
For attaching the eye, I put a big glob of icing on the back because I wanted it to ooze out the sides.
Voilà!
So onto the next dozen! I went through the same procedure, except I stopped halfway through the box because I needed to switch the laundry over. Couldn’t just be making treats for the field hockey team, I needed to wash my girl’s uniform, too. Minutes later, I came back to a horror show! The fangs had sprung open to break the donuts.
Are you kidding me? I “glued” the donuts back together with some slime icing and ended up just laying the fangs on top of the other ones. Not quite as cute, but not bad either.
KEY TO SUCCESS: The type of donut matters! Use classic glazed donuts because they have enough spring and give to hold the teeth. Cake-like donuts crack and break apart!
I am so glad I was forced to buy so many glazed ones because they turned out the best. At least I had a bunch of those!
Apparently, we are all about the donuts here. Check out these posts, too.
Hey! Want to buy our new book? I Just Want to Be Perfect brings together 37 hilarious and relatable essays that showcase the foibles of ordinary women trying to be perfect.
Newsflash, folks, all kids like to get their crafting on, even boys. I had really hoped the hefty dose of testosterone we have over here would let my un-crafty self off the proverbial “latch hook.” No luck. Something in the kid code screams, “I must express myself!” Providing regular access to a glue gun is definitely part of any mom gig. The sponsor of this post, the new Fruitocracy from Dole, gets it. Fruitocracy understands the special kingdom of tweens where self-expression, individuality and creativity may reign supreme, but harried moms are the ones actually running the place. Their fine all-natural real fruit snacks come in great flavors that my picky kids actually like. So my kids are fed and happy in the midst of and in spite of all the creating. As a bonus, they also help keep me from pulling my hair out in the middle of it all.
Time, experience, and Ellen, aka MacGyver, have taught this self-proclaimed crafting disaster a thing or ten. Behold some things I have figured out along the way that make all of the pipe cleaner and papier mâché mess much more palatable and enjoyable, even for glue gun challenged folks like me.
1. Embrace the mess.
Creative process tends to occur on the south side of messy. Add kids snacking to this mess and you have yourself a formula for disasters. That’s one of the things we love about the Fruitocracy pouches: a great-tasting snack that doesn’t ruin a masterpiece by spilling or devolving into a pile of crumbs. Knowing we can contain, if not exactly command, the mess is a true comfort. So bring on the mess that comes with their inspired dreaming, we are ready. But we draw the line on glitter. Glitter is the spawn of Satan.
See how nicely the little fruit pouch sits on the edge of the oh-so-important model rocket directions. Water bottles and chips don’t play as nicely.
2. Let them lead.
In my house, we have a bin full of craft supplies that well-meaning relatives and cruel friends have given us over the years. Since I have no idea what to do with any of the baubles, bells, and little pompom balls, they all get thrown in a box cleverly labeled “craft supplies.” When my kids are being so annoying that I worry the neighbors will hear through the open windows, out comes the box. Time potentially wasted wrestling with each other becomes time spent gluing rocks together and making fantastic things. Bottom line: my kids are still alive, I fostered their creative expression, and I didn’t have to do a thing. Win-win-win.
Slingshots are better than hand-to-hand combat, right? Right?!
3. Leave them to it.
Many of the things my kids craft are part of a school assignment. From a philosophical perspective as a teacher, I believe that a kid’s work is theirs alone. As a craft-challenged parent, I wouldn’t know how to help them anyway. The results aren’t always pretty, but they are 100% theirs.
“Character in a Can” is my favorite book report project. This is my son who thinks he just made Ralph from “Mouse and the Motorcycle.’ Just smile and nod and agree with him.
4. Give them room to work.
Creativity is a process that will not be denied. Surrender dining room tables, art supplies, and precious reserves of patience to the cause. But when necessary, leave the room completely, because sometimes you are just gonna need a break from all the mayhem. Maybe even use your break to raid your secret chocolate stash. Chocolate cures all, even a crafting hangover.
Ralph’s nose took eons longer than the rest of his coffee can body. Relaxation breathing helped us both survive.
5. Give them stuff to work with.
There are worse things in life than a burnt finger or two. With supervision, tweens can handle most power tools. So hand over that glue gun. But eat more chocolate. Remember, chocolate cures all, even a hot glue emergency.
They might become so handy they can multi-task and tutor a friend in Algebra while building a rocket.
6. Appreciate what crafts can bring to your family.
Crafts can bring more than macrame plant holders and knit toilet paper cozies into your life. It’s not all kumbaya over here all the time, but every once in awhile, the stars align and they work together on a project and I nearly weep with joy at the beautiful memories being made.
Is that a hug or are you just trying to launch a rocket?
7. Expect the unexpected.
Acknowledge upfront before the first bead has even been strung that this whole project can go off the rails. Whether it’s a lost piece, ruined directions, or worse, things can and will probably go wrong. Make peace with Murphy’s Law.
Sometimes the problem isn’t with the craft itself but your crafting buddy.
8. Appreciate the process.
One step, brick, bead, knot, or brush stroke at a time, this project will work it’s way towards completion. Reward the forward momentum with praise for the effort, snacks to keep them energized, and hugs along the way.
9. Take pride in a job well done.
Take your props for getting the project finished and heap it mightily on the kid who did it.
The smile says it all.
10. Celebrate successes.
Sometimes the crafts work out and it’s a beautiful sight to behold.
So go ahead, lay out those craft supplies and let your tween follow their creativity wherever it may lead. With our handy tips and Fruitocracy, you won’t just be able to manage the process, you might actually enjoy it too . . . but only if you follow our one hard and fast rule: NO GLITTER!
We loved how easy it was to bring our new favorite snacks along for the next big adventure! A definite bonus!
One more note: We love that the new Fruitocracy seems to have anticipated the slightly explosive union of the tween need for self-expression with their need for regular fueling. Fruitocracy really cares about what’s going on inside our growing kids. Each squeezable pouch is packed with real fruit, free of any high fructose corn syrup and GMOs, in great flavors like Apple Banana, Apple Mixed Berry, Apple Pineapple, Apple Strawberry, Apple Cherry and Apple. My family was missing these great snacks in our life because now we cannot get enough of them.
They are available now at retailers nationwide with a suggested retail price of $2.79/per pack.
Need more information about these great new snack pouches? Visit Fruitocracy
This is a sponsored post for Dole Fruitocracy but the two thumbs up from Erin’s tweens, our seal of approval, and our appreciation (or rather tolerance) of crafting is all our own.
You know what’s popular now? Knitting and crocheting. Know how we know? Well, the internet. Duh. When memes like this start popping up in your feed, it’s time to take notice or at least write another installment of Pintershizz.
Proper grammar is also sexy. “IT’S,” Ryan, “IT’S.”
Ellen: I fully acknowledge we could have gone in and made our own meme to correct the grammar, but “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That.” See what I did there?
Erin:Funny. But the “its” is still making me twitchy.
Ellen: Well, move on, because this is more about making you itchy from bad knitting projects.
Erin:Please tell me this has nothing to do with the performance art lady knitting out of her vagina?
Ellen: Noooooooo! I am taking a MUCH higher road than that. This is just the fun wooly stuff that started popping up in our Pinterest feed. Like yarn bombing. Did you know that was a thing?
Yarn Bombing: Making Vandalism Cozy and Adorable.
Erin:I do now, but that is pretty charming. Not really Pintershizz.
Ellen: THAT is technically a form of graffiti and vandalism and it’s illegal. It’s also very badass — one of the more prominent artists went under the “graffiti knitting name”, Deadly Knitshade.
Erin:That. is. awesome. Are people really getting arrested for this?
Ellen: I don’t think so. Can you imagine the court scene?
Prosecutor: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I present this rapscallion who had the audacity to put this hat on this bus stop and thus bring a smile to every person’s face who happened to pass its way . . .
Judge: I hate to interrupt, but what idiot called the police instead of just picking up some hedge clippers?
Prosecutor: Good point.
Judge: Case dismissed.
Erin:By the way, how do you know all of this?
Ellen: Shut up, but Wikipedia. I know I’m a Wikipedia snob, but I thought it was probably okay for graffiti knitting.
Erin:Probably. We won’t make you turn in your library card, but you seem to be dropping some stitches, where is the Pintershizz?
Ellen: Did you just try to use a knitting term to illustrate that I’m getting off track??
Erin:Sweet kittens with mittens, I’m damned if I get on board with you and damned if I don’t. Just show us what you found on Pinterest.
1. Throne Cozy
Ellen: What better way to kick off Pintershizz than with a crocheted toilet?
Erin:I did just finish two bathroom remodels in my house . . . but no. There are waaaaaaaay too many people who stand up to pee–with questionable aim, I might add–in my household.
Ellen: Stop right there! I can feel the bacteria crawling through the computer screen. But speaking of science experiments, what about this gem?
2. Trapped Like a Rat
Bonus genuine dissection tray. Only mildly used.
Erin:Now isn’t this something you would like? Seems like the perfect gift for that med student in your life.
Ellen: No! It’s not even anatomically correct! Where are the lungs? WHAT is that brown blob on the left? Is that green thing the heart? Everyone knows the gallbladder is green, but it most definitely is NOT in the center of the chest.
Erin:Wow. I think we just found your OCD trigger. At least the tray is authentic.
Ellen: I’ll be impressed only if it smells like formaldehyde and desperation. Moving on to less evil-scientist-type items . . .
3. Bad Yarn Decision Dude
Ellen: Now this one is just funny. Pretty sure it is from the 70s.
Erin:What a lovely decade that was: avocado green and harvest gold EVERYTHING, Vienna sausages on toothpicks as appetizers, and clothing like THIS.
Ellen: I can’t remember what that hat is called and it’s driving me nuts.
Erin:That’s a tam o’ shanter.
Ellen: HOW did you know that?
Erin:I have my niche. You’re full of knowledge everyone needs to know, but I know things no one ever wants to know . . .
Ellen: Don’t sell yourself short. You’re just like Google, except less profitable and user friendly.
4. Keeping Those Buns Warm
Ellen: I do NOT want to know what her secret sauce is.
Erin: If you ask me, she looks like she’s one french fry short of a Happy Meal. See? I’m hilarious.
Ellen: You have your moments. Keep the faith.
5. More Fashion WTH?
Ellen: What would this be for? Is it for those times you only want 50% of your limbs to be sexy and frostbitten??
Erin:Oooo. It’s like the woman who’s famous who had the leg sticking out of the dress.
Ellen: You mean Angelina Jolie? You came up with tam o’ shanter, but can’t remember Jolie? I’m getting you a People Magazine subscription for Christmas. You need to up your Google game.
Erin:I told you, I’m a niche.
6. Two Woolens Arses are Better Than One
Ellen: This is for those people who think Snuggies aren’t ugly enough.
Erin:Yes, because what would make you feel better about being hideous than knowing you spent eleventy gazillion hours creating that ugliness?
7. Earbud Time Suck
Erin:What’s so bad about these? They would actually be pretty useful in my family of seven. Someone is ALWAYS complaining that someone else is using their earbuds. Blah, blah, blah.
Ellen: It’s the TIME SUCK factor. In my family, someone is always losing their earbuds. I can’t imagine spending this much time on something that has such a short life span. By the way, you know you could just color the connectors with different colored Sharpies?
Erin:YOU know that would require a master chart that we would promptly lose, right? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
8. Here We Go A-Flaying
Ellen: I feel like I disappointed you with the last one, so back to the weird. Doesn’t this look like someone has been skinned? Wasn’t it St. Bartholomew who was flayed?
Erin: I don’t know. It seems like there were a bunch of them.
Ellen: Okay, not to keep spinning the same wheel (yeah, I did it), but how do you know something like tam o’ shanter, but you’re not sure which saint lost his hide? You’re a religion teacher.
Erin:Told you, I’m niche-y.
9. Because We Love Llamas
Ellen: I didn’t want to end being a complete knitting hater. If I had a llama, I would totally knit it a scarf. I don’t know why I love llamas so much–maybe it’s their long, sweeping eyelashes, their goofy expressions, or the way they spit like they just don’t care. There is nothing wrong with the textile arts, it’s just, I don’t have the time.
Erin:I wouldn’t mind learning to knit either. People have told me it’s great to do while sitting in car line or sitting on the sidelines . . . the only problem is, I already have things I’m catching up on during that “down-time.” My “down-time” is double-booked until three months past 2020.
And Sweetie, you can just buy a scarf at Target for nine bucks. The llama will never know.
This week on Monday Listicles the wonderful writer behind the Bonny Bard, Mrs. M, challenged us to make a list of “10 Reasons I Am Great.” We have tangoed with this tough-y a couple of times. While we are just fine with self-revelation and self-promotion (we are bloggers after all), we are not particularly comfortable with high-fiving or back-patting ourselves. In the past we have two-stepped around this problem by writing glowing words about each other or by asking our kids what they thought of us.
But this time, we are going to bite the proverbial bullet and play it straight. Or at least straight-ish.
Ten Reasons We Are Great
1.We are sexy beasts.
Caution: You might not be ready for our Hawt-ness
Ellen: Okay, immediately after agreeing that we were just going to say nice things about ourselves, we both went scrambling for an escape hatch. Unbeknownst to each other, we both turned to our husbands and asked them what they thought was fabulous about us.
Erin:They both (separately) came up with some very nice things to say about us that quickly slid into the land of raunch.
Ellen: We did not share these little gems with each other, so don’t even think for a second we are going to share them with you and the interwebz.
Erin:You’re welcome, Children.
Ellen: Mmmmm, we might have negated any gratitude that may have come our way by calling ourselves “Sexy Beasts.”
2. We have great party tricks.
Erin:We are part of a larger circle of friends who all read. A lot. They all seem kind of impressed that I can remember the authors and titles of books that I have read days, months, and even years later.
Ellen: And I can save your life with the uncanny amount of knowledge I retained from medical school.
Erin:You are always going to win with that one. Whatever. I also make a darn good chocolate chip cookie.
3. We are the Yin and Yang for crazy people.
Erin:I attract them like bees to honey. And I am oblivious to their crazy.
Ellen: And I detect them. And tell her to run.
4. We have other Sixth Sense Superpowers.
Ellen: I constantly catch Erin in the shower with my phone calls. Either she is constantly showering so it increases my odds or it is truly a sixth sense.
Erin:I’m just happy she’s not clairvoyant because if she could see me in the shower, well, that would just be awkward.
5. We are DIY powerhouses.
Erin: To be clear, I am a DIY optimist, which is not exactly the same thing. I have great intentions and vision, but you know what they say about the best intentions. . . The example that proves the rule is the time our friend Mary and I decided to make some t-shirts (20 to be exact) for our great camping adventure. Without calling Ellen.
We actually said, “How hard can it be?” before plunging into our ambitious, yet misguided attempt to iron-on an emblem AND numbers AND THEN tie-dye them. Remember what I said about vision? Anyway, despite spending a lot of time and money, we still ended up short on blue dye and half the numbers peeled off. We also spent a lot of time saying, “We should have called Ellen.”
Ellen: And I did this. Do not hold the time frame it took to get it done against me.
6. Photography Junkies
Ellen: I can really more accurately be described as a photograph hoarder. I take pictures by the thousands, but I’m not exactly a superstar at sharing them. It has been over a year since I made a photo book, and I can’t remember the last time I printed a picture. I haven’t even put Halloween pictures up on my Facebook account.
Erin:I am actually pretty enthusiastic about the sharing. I make photo books every year — for myself and for gifts, too. I have even coerced my brothers and sister into creating a calendar every year that has become one of the most anticipated parts of our Christmas festivities.
So it pains me, truly, to say that I have lost my camera bag. Am I hyperventilating? I still have my camera — thank-you-for-small-blessings — but the bag is G-O-N-E. Gone. Thank goodness that all of my closest friends have the same camera and I can borrow their chargers from time to time.
Ellen: This disappearance has stressed me out so much that I have searched my garage 3 times out of fear that I somehow snagged it.
Ellen: Andsometimes we felt like the new kids . . .
Erin:But, overall, it has made us stronger . So far, we are still friends, it’s still fun, and, as Ellen likes to say, people should hire us to figure out that mess in the Middle East. Seriously, we have mad skills in diplomacy.
Ellen: So far . . .
8. We rock mealtimes.
Erin:One day many moons ago we all met at Ellen’s house for an Easter Egg hunt and recipe swap. Ellen is the hostess extraordinaire and she knows how to party. She seriously hid over 400 eggs on her three acre lot. The fabulous upside was that it kept the 20 plus kiddos busy long enough to rock my family’s world. Seriously. I took home a folder full of every other family’s go-to recipes, and suddenly we weren’t rotating the same five meals any more.
Our friend Mary kicked it up a notch when she introduced me to the idea of planning our meals ahead of time. When I went back to work part-time this fall, getting dinner on the table was the one ball I had no trouble still keeping up in the air. I already had a system.
The book that made the magic happen!!
Ellen: And if the crockpot is not your friend, make nice now. Nothing is better than walking into the house after a long day to find your meal ready and waiting. It is a life saver on sports practice nights. I can sense some of you muttering, “But crockpot meals are gross.” Well, take notice because I have a Healthy French Country Crockpot Chicken recipe that will make you a believer.
9. We have a true Sisterhood.
Erin: Ellen and I are the bloggers, but the stories, the friendship, and the adventures we write about are shared with a larger network of women. We travel together, share books and recipes and funny stories, raise our kids together, and basically figure it all out together.
This isn’t everybody, but nobody has brought a camera to book club. . .yet.
Ellen: We said it before, and we really, really mean it. Parenting in isolation is not a good idea. We feel so blessed to have all of the women in our lives who have made this mothering journey easier. They keep us happy, fed, and sane.
Erin:They also keep us honest.
Ellen: And on that note. . .
10. We are not vain.
Photographic evidence. Or maybe we really are sexy beasts. Hmmm. . .
Thanks, Sisterhood, for making sure we have fodder, photographic and otherwise, for the blog. Together with our kids and our husbands, you are a big part of what makes us great.
Another thing that makes us great is our weekly date with Stasha at Monday Listicles. Her link-up is always a great place to start the week. Check it out!
I’m a DIY sort of person — not on the scale of building decks or patching roofs, but let’s just say one Christmas my husband gave me a sapphire bracelet and a compound miter saw. When the toilet needs to be fixed or the cabinets need to be moved so the new refrigerator can fit in the old opening, I’m the gal for the job. And woe to the unprepared repairman who asks my husband to borrow a tool. He will just be redirected back to the “little lady” he strode past to get to the man of the house.
Unfortunately, my hot dish of competence comes with a heaping side of procrastination and a big dollop of perfectionism dripping off the plate onto Grandma’s heirloom tablecloth. It’s a double whammy, Folks. Getting started on a project is as easy for me as getting the cat to cut our grass on the Fourth of July.
“But the perfectionism is a good thing, Ellen! A perfect project is what you want, right?” you say.
Well, thanks for being my enabler, but no. My meticulousness does not spring from a bottomless well. I waste so much energy in the beginning with precision that I often fail to cross the finish line. Seriously, it’s like I’m inches from breaking the tape and I’m liked, “Meh, I ran 12.9 miles. Good enough. I think I’ll go have a margarita. And start another race.”
This towel hangs in my bathroom next to the tub with the surround I built and installed . . . with the nail holes still unfilled.
But the project I’m sharing with you today is epic and finished (well, it will be by the time I post this — fingers crossed). And epic is not hyperbole. This project spanned two centuries.
A Gazillion Steps to Finishing Two Lingerie Chests
Now don’t get all hot and bothered. I don’t have enough lingerie to fill two pieces of furniture. It’s just what they’re called and these are the drawers that would fit on either side of the TV armoire . . . a piece of furniture that is now obsolete and needs to go because we want a bigger flat screen. But the easiest way to get it out would be to take an ax to it and I don’t have that kind of violence simmering within me right now.
Anyway, back to my project that begins at the turn of the century in 1999 . . .
The Steps
1. Buy two unfinished pieces of furniture because you want to be creative and do something special with them.
2. Realize that your time would be wasted doing something special with them because there is no Facebook or Pinterest on which to show them off. Incidentally, you discover you are pregnant with your second child and think huffing hydrocarbons would not be the responsible thing to do.
3. Put chests in storage for 13 years. Wait for social media to take the world by storm.
4. Rejoice that there is Pinterest and remember that you have a project to complete. Remembering is not hard since you have to climb over these drawers every year to excavate the Christmas decorations.
5. Pin all the things to make these chests ever-loving fabulous!
6. Decide to haul drawers out of the basement to the garage in May 2012. This is not only the end of the school year, but the end of two milestone school years — my oldest graduating from 8th grade and my youngest graduating from 5th grade. My calendar looked like this.
Believe me, even when it wasn’t blurred to protect the innocent, it was hard to follow.
7. Fail to get drawers completed — and by completed, I mean started — before school ends.
8. Spend summer having fun and not parking in the garage. Beat down anxiety as junk slowly creeps into the space where the car use to be.
9. Kids are back in school! Clear out garage to get to the drawers. This only takes a day or 15.
The creep is strong in this house it is.
10. Search through stash to see if you have anything with which to complete this project. After all, DIY is supposed to be economical!
11. Find some pretty cream colored glazing stain. Remember that yes, this is what you wanted to do with the chests. But alas the jar is tiny and the company that made it went out of business. Mourn the loss because you’re sure it would have worked really well. Since they were good enough to stay in business and all.
12. Say, “Patooey! This project has been over a decade in the making, but I don’t have time for that whole staining process. To the Home Depot for spray paint!”
13. Buy a case of spray paint because you are NOT going to get burned with that whole “going out of business” thing again. No siree. Spend a mortgage payment on drawer pulls while you’re there.
14. It is time to start sanding. Whoopee! Nothing is more fun than scraping your knuckles and breathing in sawdust. Pull out the first drawer and find the knobs you bought a lifetime ago — my youngest daughter’s lifetime that is. They are perfect, but this leads you to the next chore . . .
15. Return the recently purchased knobs to Home Depot. Celebrate your new found fortune . . . until you write your mortgage check.
Hawt
16. Put on a super cute outfit and commence sanding. Make sure you do it well and go with the grain. My furniture was bare so I started with a fine grit sanding sponge. Sanding is the foundation to a great finish. (REAL TIP ALERT!)
17. Search for a tack cloth to remove the dust, the next step to a smooth finish. For some reason you can’t find one on your work bench.
It’s so puzzling why I can’t find anything.
18. Declare, “I am NOT going back to Home Depot.” Wipe chests with a damp cloth and raise the grain of the wood. Anyone who knows the term “raising the grain” should not be stupid enough to do it. (REAL TIP ALERT: Raising the grain means to make the wood fibers swell up. It can be a good idea to do this if you are staining a piece because you swell the fibers and can sand them down BEFORE you start to stain. If you’re using spray paint, this step just sucks away your time and patience.)
19. Begin sanding process again. Skulk to Home Depot to buy a $1.79 tack cloth. Spend $20 on pansies while you’re there because, you know, you need another project.
20. REAL TIP ALERT: Prime the chests using a color close to your final color. I used a red brown since my final color was a metallic copper.
Smoothing with a paper bag
21. Start spraying your layers of final color. REAL TIP ALERT: Follow the directions on the can exactly. You can do a couple of light coats within ONE HOUR, but not too many or your paint will start to sag. After that one hour passes you have to wait 48 hours for the next coat. Really. The key to a good spray paint finish is for the finish to cure and harden rather than remain gummy. In between dry coats, buff the surface lightly with a paper bag to smooth it before you start spray painting again.
Rock on
22. Pretend you’re a quirky pop star with your new metallic fingertip.
23. Repeat steps 21 and 22 until your piece is evenly finished. You may want to find something to pass the time while you are waiting for the paint to cure. I chose an emergency appendectomy, but use your own judgement.
24. Panic that Superstorm Sandy is coming and might flood your garage. Move drawers into living room.
Hit me up if you want some Feng Shui tips
25. Decide that this project has not dragged on long enough and you need to up the wow factor by upholstering the sides. Give yourself a hard deadline by scheduling a sleepover party with 14 tween girls for your daughter’s birthday.
26. Pattern match, measure, and cut the fabric and batting for the sides.
27. Allow yourself a moment to freak the hell out when you turn the furniture over and discover a bevvy of spider eggs cases. Resist setting the drawers on fire. You’ve come too far.
28. Staple! But first relocate your cat to another room so that she does not wrap herself around your head at the first <Whamp>.
29. Take a break until 2 days before the party. Make sure to include the stapler in your cleaning routine.
30. Get your butt in gear because you have a cake to bake! Finish the edges of the fabric panels with ribbon and brass tacks. Smash your fingers and destroy the “brass” finish on the tack with the first whack of the hammer.
31. REAL TIP ALERT: Remember the trick of holding the tack with a fork or comb and search for your tack hammer. For some reason, you still can’t find anything on your work bench. Pilfer the mouse pad that was included in your awesome prize basket that you won in the twisted crafting contest sponsored by The Bearded Iris and The Suniverse and wrap it around the only hammer out of five that you can find.
