We are co-hosting that wonderful monthly link-up, Finding the Funny, with a whole slew of talented bloggers. To put it simply, we are pleased as a couple of leprechauns riding unicorns towards a rainbow leading to a pot of gold and Sour Patch Kids. Maybe we need to work on simple.
To get you in the funny mood, we’ll warm you up before you link up with:
We don’t ask you to link back to us or include a button on your blog, but we do ask you to send out a tweet or post about the party on your Facebook page. Be sure to use #findingthefunny.
We have said it before and we have to say it again: We love to party! And not just for birthdays, anniversaries, and such. Heck, if it’s a day that ends in “Y”, somebody bring the beach balls and the booze and let’s crank up the jams. Anyway, here are. . .
10 Parties That Make Us Proud
Erin
1. Irish Girls Do It in Bright Green
I just love that this Irish girl married into a Polish family with a fun-loving real-life Irish Grandmom. We love our GiGi, and all of the fabulous parties that happen on her favorite day each year!
2. Inside This Box is a Fabulous . . .
Road Trip. With five kids and birthdays that come in bunches, we don’t always go the traditional party route. Often times, we hit the road to celebrate. In fact, Biddie and I are still basking in the glow of our great Northeastern Adventure to celebrate her 13th birthday this past summer.
This picture is one of my favorites though. When Biddie was 10, she was obsessed with the First Ladies. Sorry, 1D! Martha Washington was her first real pin-up! Her birthday was the weekend of the Obama inauguration that year. All she wanted was to get to Washington, DC. Here she is scanning the White House windows looking for a glimpse of one of the Obama girls. Still one of my favorite birthdays ever!
But other times we play it straight and we get. . .
3. The Party That Proved Just How Smart I Am!!
Eddie LOVED all things Star Wars the summer he turned four. We had a pool party and these lightsaber pool noodles were the party favor. Cheap, easy to make, and 10,000 times better than a bag of Dollar Store junk. Every mom and kid loved them! And some still have them!
But there is always a fly in the punch. Check out Eddie’s face behind his cool cupcakes. Darn kid’s ruining my boast! I swear no exorcism was required.
4. True Fans Party on Opening Day
Who parties on the opening day of the Liverpool soccer season? Maybe the family that left their North Caroline beach vacation early to see them play on American soil last summer. This might be taking the term Soccer Mom to a whole new level, but I don’t care. I’m hoping these crazy family traditions are gonna be the things that get these kids home for a visit every once in a while after the big, wide world scatters them to the winds.
5. 40 IS Fabulous!
Especially when you do it Sisterhood Style. We always treat our buddies well on their special day, but this party for our friend Lauri was the best! We went kayaking on the river near her house. Her family even had it planned for us to paddle up to a dock for some beverages and snacks along the way. Kind of like a Kayak Crawl.
Ellen
Erin’s proud party moments turned out just like her: all over the place and fabulous. I’m going to stick to the traditional birthday party genre. We take the mantra “Go big or go home” to heart around here when it comes to celebrating those special days.
1. Pandamonium
I love to have my house stuffed with happy girls. I also love our family tradition where the birthday girl gets her very own personalized cake to dive into with abandon. The theme for Jellybean’s 12th birthday was pandas, so with 13 girls sleeping over, it was pandamonium. Get it??
2. Monkey Business
In fact, this is the party where the personal birthday cake tradition was born by chance. So take that Pinterest. I was able to develop fun family rituals long before you rolled up on the scene.
3. Letting the Cat Out of The Bag
Jellybean got our cat Sparkle for her 6th birthday. Imagine my delight when she came downstairs ready for her indoor bounce house party dressed in her kitty cat Halloween costume. Melt.
4. Ginormous Water Slide For The Win
I LOVE throwing little kid birthday parties. Coed teenager parties make my palms clammy. For our first one, I got this huge water slide as a distraction. I should have thought about the bathing suit factor.
5. Back to the Good Ol’ Days
Alright, let’s forget the teen years, I’m starting to break out in hives. Let’s go back to when all I had to do was transform our basement into the American Idol sound stage. And upon review, I apparently also transformed our backyard into a superstar themed obstacle course for about a bazillion little girls. Did I mention “Go big or go home”?
In case all of this party pride is making you a little nauseous, don’t forget the New Year’s Eve when Ellen made everyone actually gag with this little gem of a Pintershit drink.
Also, don’t forget to check out the other bloggers over at Monday Listicles who responded to Stasha’s prompt 10 THINGS YOU ARE PROUD OF. Feel free to join in on the fun.
Nothing we love here in The Sisterhood more than a great party and some good eats.
One Drink! Two Drinks!! Three Drinks!!!
Thank goodness that between the two of us, there are plenty of holidays and birthdays to go around. Ellen has a chance to show off her cake -making skills. . .
There’s a veritable barnyard of cute animals Ellen’s crafted out of fondant and sugar, but this one’s Erin’s favorite.
. . . and Erin’s husband Steve does too. Erin thanks her lucky stars every year that her in-laws owned a Carvel franchise for years and taught her husband how to handle a pastry bag.
He can freelance like nobody’s business too. He drew this one at the beach using a sandwich baggy and some homemade icing.
You wanna know what else they share besides some serious cake-making skills?? The same birthday. February 9th. They were born ON. THE. SAME. DAY. Yeah, we know, it’s freaky. Especially when Erin says that their voices sound the same in her head.
Oh, and our dear friend Mary’s son was born on February 9th too. When Mary was on bed rest, she gave Ellen and Frank her season tickets to see “Chicago” at the Wilmington Opera House, so that they could have a date night out to celebrate Ellen’s birthday. As Frank and Ellen were watching the curtain come up, Lil’ G was making his debut.
Do you hear what we are laying down?? Three special people in The Sisterhood share the same birthday! We might as well turn this into an official Sisterhood holiday. What, you say, this is barely a reason for a holiday?
Well, in addition to the crazy coinciding of the birthdays, this year February 9th has been attracting activities and events to it like a Kardashian to some media coverage. We would like to offer our calendars as Exhibits A, B, C, and D, but the paper ones are unreadable and the electronic ones are groaning from the data we keep trying to input. Erin may not be the technology-whisperer, but she can hear her iPhone saying, “Put me down, girl. I’ve had enough. I can’t take any more.”
Still not buying it? Well, February is a month for dubious holidays anyway. Perhaps snow does not just make you blind, but deaf, dumb, and stark-raving mad as well. These February holidays all started out honorably enough, but they have strayed far from their noble roots. Mardi Gras is now just an excuse to make bad decisions all day long. And Presidents’ Day? A ruse to spend one last day on the slopes (not that we’re complaining) or to buy a new mattress.
Yep. We think you’re awesome, Abe. Too bad they have you schlepping new Sertas!
Groundhog Day? Puh-leez! Phil saw his shadow this year, so you know what that means?? Bupkis. NADA. Nothing. Dust off your 5th grade science book or steal your kid’s iPad: that’s not how weather works. Sorry if this rains on your happy dance parade because you thought spring was right around the corner. It is. It’s called March.
And don’t even get us started on Valentine’s Day. There’s the Hallmark version: St. Valentine, hearts, love, letters, chocolates . . . well, you know. Then there’s the real story: Pope Gelasius got a little slaphappy bestowing sainthood on people and included Valentine in with a bunch of other saints, saints like St. George of “St. George and the Dragon” fame. We don’t have to tell you that this got a little awkward seeing as how dragons are a little hard to rustle up. Anyway, the pope validated his batch of questionable picks by saying that they were men “whose acts are known only to God”. Nice umbrella there, Pope G, hope it shields you from the flurry of chocolates and greeting cards headed your way.
Not this type of unicorn
Anyway, we think February 9th has as much legitimate claim to a holiday status as, say, a groundhog who forecasts weather or a knight who slays dragons in the English countryside. If Pope Gelasius had kept going, we might be painting rainbows and hearts in homage to Saint Unicorn-Wrangler.
So, what’s wrong with lobbying for February 9th as a Sisterhood Siesta? It could be a a day to do nothing. Hang out, sleep in, eat cake, relax. Whatever. The Holiday of Meh. For two girls who have yet to find a blank spot on their calendars, this sounds like heaven.
Besides, Ellen could use some cheering up. Remember what we just said about Ellen and Mary’s little boy being birthday buddies? On his first birthday, Ellen gave him a tool box and has been filling it on his special day ever since. This year, Ellen was proactive, organized, and way ahead of the game. Because the universe has a twisted sense of humor, Ellen was bound to be drop-kicked on her little overachieving butt for this forethought and productivity. The supercool pair of light-up work goggles she found for Mary’s little boy and bought for him BEFORE Christmas? Well, they are gone. G-O-N-E. Like no trail to follow, no stones to overturn, NOWHERE. We can wish for a happy day when Ellen unpacks them from her Christmas decorations in December, but it’s not likely. They seemed to have been swallowed up by the black hole that exists in our homes since the birth of our kids.
You know what would make her feel better? A day off to look for them. Or not. Whatever.
At the very least, we can all offer some sincere birthday wishes to these three special people without whom The Sisterhood would be a much less fun, funny, and sweet place! Happy birthday, Ellen, Steve (Happy Big 4-0!!) , and Lil’ G!
Oh, and just to keep it real, a bonus birthday anecdote from Erin’s birthday last week:
Ellen calls to check in on some blog stuff.
Erin:Oh, I don’t know if I’ll have time to finish that. The family is taking me out to dinner for my birthday.
Ellen: But I thought your birthday was January 31st.
Erin:Today IS January 31st.
Don’t forget to vote for us as one of the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs. Just click the little pink button below. It takes just a minute! Push us, push us real good into the Top 25!
Thanks! Erin and Ellen
You can vote once per 24 hours until February 13th. So click it, so we can quit begging!
Just when you think you know a girl, look in her purse.
Here’s what went down.
Last weekend was the 10th Annual Sisterhood Mother-Daughter Christmas Tea Party. Are you doing the math? It was JANUARY last weekend—NOT December.
Ten years ago, when we were young mothers, we thought a tea party would be a grand idea—one more chance for the sweet babies to wear their pretty Christmas dresses! We even had little tea pots, and there was, and still is, a book exchange among the not-so-little-any-more girls (yep, we started the love-of-books-brain-washing young!). This year, an evil virus took down one of the families over Christmas, hence, the post-holiday date. With our combined schedules, we are oh-so-lucky we weren’t singing yuletide carols by the pool in June, but, whatever, on with the Fa-La-La-ing.
Yep, that is a coyote skin the girls are dangling over the balcony. Perhaps “Tea Party” is a little too high rent for what we have going on.
We were all just sitting around coffee-klatching it up. Yes, we know we JUST said it was a TEA party, but it was decided about 3 seconds into the first tea party that the tea was really just for the girls. (And really the “tea” was water because we’re not insane.) We Moms require something with a little higher octane. The lovely afternoon hummed with the sounds of old friends catching up and the girls playing oh-so-beautifully when . . .
Ellen: Why on earth do you have a paper towel roll in your purse? You don’t even use paper towels.
Erin: embarrassed giggle
Ellen: I feel like I just walked in on a vegetarian devouring a Big Mac.
Suddenly all eyes are on Erin. The Sisterhood all know The Big Secret, but most people do not: Erin’s family does not use paper towels. They broke their Bounty habit about 4 years ago and haven’t looked back. The only negative is when people find out. Nothing gets a room whipped into a frenzy faster than a woman who has abandoned her paper products. They start sputtering, “HOW can you do that?” Then they belligerently berate, “But what about raw meat juices and vomit!?!” And it goes on and on.
So Erin is quick to go on the defensive when someone shines a spotlight on it— like lightning-fast, hair-trigger defensive. You CANNOT believe how crazy people get over the No-Paper-Towel lifestyle. Or can you? Calm yourself. It’s not like she doesn’t use toilet paper.
Ultimately, this was not a grand confessional moment. She was only the runner! Erin was ferrying the paper towel rolls to a neighbor to be transformed into swords for a birthday party. Can we all just agree now that Pinterest is going to be the death of us all?
But it definitely got us to thinking about what other secrets might be uncovered in the great abysses known as our purses. So here’s . . .
10 Things Our Purses Reveal About Us
Ellen
Erin is not the only environmentalist in the Sisterhood — her with her radical No Paper Towel Policy. My purse shows that I’m trying to save the planet by keeping the world’s garbage in my purse instead of sending it to a landfill. Here are some highlights.
1. Same red bird ornament as Erin.
The first rule of Red Bird Club is do not talk about Red Bird Club.
2. Sunday School ornament nestled up to some screws.
Can we take a moment to respect the character that is my baby? In church, my 12 year old sunshine created a Christmas decoration hashtagged YOLO and SWAG. While SWAG might be fitting for my Savior, He definitely was THE exception for “You only live once.”
Can we not talk about why I have not one, but two five Christmas ornaments in my purse in February?
By the way, matching up those screws is what is standing between me and a finished laundry closet. That and 13 hours of labor.
3. USB cord.
I’m a gal who is always prepared. In the countryside that I call home, it is not uncommon for internet to drop out. When you do something as important as blog for no profit, you need to be prepared to tether your cell phone as a hotspot . . . that is, if you happen to have any bars. I should blog with smoke signals.
4. Two wallets are heavier than one.
See that super cute Coach wristlet on the left? That was going to be the answer to lightening my load – only the essential cards and cash AND I could just grab it and go when I didn’t want to drag around my whole garbage can, I mean purse. The reality? I haven’t cleaned my wallet out to make sure I have all of my essentials, so now I’m dragging them BOTH around.
5. A card is worth a thousand words.
This trio of cards landed together. It was like a tea leaves reading: a Dunkin’ Donuts card, a Lego card, and a Kohl’s coupon for Black Friday. (Once again, I know it is now February.) Make of it what you will.
Erin
I kind of suspect that this is what the inside of my head looks like.
6. Same Red Bird as Ellen
First Rule of Red Bird Club is do not talk about Red Bird Club.
7. 400 Speed Film
Hmmm. I don’t even use my film camera any more since I took up with the fabulous DSLR Nikon. Yes, ladies, sometimes shiny and new can sway you from tried and true. I suspect I found these when cleaning out a drawer and said “Wow, I should really get that developed”, but I have no recollection of having this conversation with myself. Perhaps the person who swiped my camera bag left these in exchange. It’ s a Nancy Drew mystery.
8. Business Cards
Super important to have on hand when you are blogging for no profit.
9. Survival Stockpile
Purse or Suburban Mom Survivalist pack? You decide. You can’t really see it in this picture, but there’s even an emergency medical kit hidden in an Altoids tin, complements of my little Cub Scout. With this bag in tow, just grab a great hat, put on your best Indiana Jones swagger, and pilot that mini-van towards your next adventure. You could survive for days in the suburban jungle with this mess.
10. Birth Certificate and Social Security Card
All apologies to my mom and dad who actually spent one Saturday morning looking through THEIR files for these documents. I found these nice and safe in an envelope in my purse.
Who carries around their birth certificate, you ask? This girl!! You see I am going away with my husband for the first time in a long time. Not away, like “Hey, kids, we are hanging out in the basement. Go destroy the rest of the house” away, but more like “Hey, we’ll send you a postcard. Please don’t kill your grandparents before we get back” kind of away.
We are going on the kind of away that requires a passport and about 40 mom-hours worth of work before the magical, hanging-out with my husband sans kids can happen. Super-excited for the trip AND that I found these documents!
Of course, our souvenir from the last trip like this is in kindergarten now, which reminds of a few more things that I should put on my to-do list.
PS– Do you see that I carry my husband’s old swiss army knife?? Wasn’t kidding about that Survivalist pack.
So, in the end, this look inside the purses doesn’t end up being a grand confessional either. Just more of what you have come to expect: a little silly, a little sensible, a little sweet.
Click the link to read some other great posts over at Monday Listicles !
Don’t forget to vote for us as one of the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs. Just click the little pink button below. It takes just a minute! Push us, push us real good into the Top 25!
Thanks! Erin and Ellen
You can vote once per 24 hours until February 13th. So click it, so we can quit begging!
Here at the Sisterhood, we are huge fans of Pinterest. We have over 3,900 pins to prove it. But you have to be wary of the Pintershizz. It can lead you to lose your mind by goading you to go over the top or, more benignly, it can just be pure entertainment. Pure, disturbing, entertainment. The problem is when you fall for executing the Pintershizz and end up getting Pinter-punked. Pinterest fails are tragic, y’all.
Erin:Do you really want to start out the new year with such negativity?
Ellen: Well, how about this? We ended 2012 getting Pinter-punked?
Erin:It’s really more accurate. And it would be ABSOLUTELY accurate is you said YOU ended 2012 by getting Pinter-punked.
Ellen: All I wanted to do was bring a fancy schmancy cocktail to your house for New Year’s Eve. Pinterest was full of them and I had been so impressed when the Michalaks showed up at the last soiree with this refreshing gem of their own creation.
Ellen: Because I wanted to be different and if you never DO or MAKE any of the crap you pin, isn’t it just electronic hoarding?
With a start this Martha Stewart-esque, what could go wrong?
Erin:Well your prep basket was Pinterest-worthy, but what made you choose The Kahlua Float?
Ellen: It looked gorgeous. I love Kahlua. It had champagne. What is more perfect for New Year’s Eve than a cocktail that has champagne??
Erin:Okay, but what about the coffee ice cream? I have to tell you, coffee ice cream makes me want to gag.
Ellen: You might be missing the point. What SHOULD have made ME gag was the thought of coffee ice cream IN white wine. Here’s the recipe: 1 scoop espresso or coffee ice cream, 1.5 oz Kahlua, topped with 1/8 cup champagne. Ew! Who puts ice cream in wine??? My only defense is that I was enchanted by this photo.
Erin:Or maybe it failed because you rednecked it up. Nice plastic glass. And it probably would have been better if you had used chocolate sprinkles.
What??
Ellen: First, I expected you to have champagne flutes or at the very least, wine glasses for me to use. I really brought the plastic cups for the root beer floats for the kids. Second, it was not the sprinkles. So I got caramel jimmies instead of chocolate. Walmart was out.
Erin:Redneck point punctuated . . .
Ellen: You just go on throwing stones at my plastic cups. I was not going to multiple stores to find chocolate sprinkles. Have you ever tasted a sprinkle? By itself? No matter what flavor they say they are, they taste like nothing. They are flavorless hydrogenated calorie bombs. One tablespoon is 60 calories.
Erin:Get out! That’s crazy! So if you have an ice cream cone covered in sprinkles, you really could have another scoop of ice cream for the same amount of calories? So I’m going back to my original statement, but with more venom. This drink failed because sprinkles are the devil.
Ellen: Okay, I’ll go along with sprinkles being the Trojan Horse of calories and they are miserable to drink through or around . . .
Erin:But it was super fun to pick them out of your scarf and I even think I got some in my hair. And down my shirt.
Ellen: Don’t forget getting them up your nose. But back to my points. This drink failed because it was ice cream in wine! Coffee ice cream, no less, in white FIZZY wine. What was I thinking?? I went back to the original blog post and there were lots of comments saying how pretty the drink looked, but not much about its taste.
We just realized we coordinated. How cute is that? Now you can gag too.
Erin:You were lured in by the pretty picture! We did enjoy the Kahlua over the ice cream, though. That was yummy.
Ellen: But it was hardly a cocktail.
Erin:Maybe you should have consulted me first. My Rein-Beer at the Christmas party was a hit. I have never been steered down the merry pathway of Pintershizz. I read the directions and can just tell if its going to be good or not.
So Proud
Ellen: Well, la-di-da! Aren’t you the Princess of Pinterest? You twisted some pipe cleaners and glued some googly eyes. Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. I’ve never gotten steered wrong like this either. One of my superpowers is picking out good recipes.
Erin:I don’t need to pat myself on the back because I’m wearing the tiara. I think your “Super Recipe Picker Outer” cape would go nicely with it.
Ellen: And on that note. . .
Happy New Year from The Sisterhood!
May 2013 bring you health, wealth, and enough wisdom to avoid stepping in the Pintershizz.
It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. It was the 80s.
Ellen: So what do you think of when you think 80s?
Erin:Besides BIG? Madonna clothes, lace gloves, legwarmers, big shoulder pads.
Ellen: You are 100% correct, buuuuuuuuuuuuut . . .
Erin:Seriously? You say I’m right, but then qualify it with a mile long but? I’m right. I lived through the 80s. I know. End of story.
Ellen: I think you’re looking through St. Elmo’s Fire colored glasses. I just feel like all of that stuff is the cute music video 80s. For example, my daughter had to make an 80s costume for a play she was in last year. Behold.
This is a little too adorable to be authentic.
Erin:She looks adorable — leg warmers, lace glove, jelly bracelets — everything I said. She even has a little Vans action thrown in.
Ellen: See, it’s that word “adorable” that’s getting me. Forget about the Benetton commercials and MTV. I’m talking about the REAL 80s — the 80s that walked down the halls of the middle schools and high schools. The 80s of which we BOTH have photographic evidence.
Erin:Well you’re going to have to gag on that spoon all by yourself because you know I still can’t scan pictures.
Ellen: Oh, if you are throwing down the fingerless lace glove gauntlet, then I am accepting the challenge because we owe it to the children to give an accurate history.
(Just to be clear – All Photographic Embarrassment Evidence is Ellen’s)
10 Righteous BIG Slices of the REAL 80s
1. Overview of an 80s Teenage Girl
That’s right, we had BFF before there was texting. Stick that on your skateboard and pump mongo. And speaking of not having texting, check out that extra long phone cord — necessary so you could roam free while talking to your BFFs. We’ll talk about the fashion later, but note that my room was About Last Night purple and green. And my love for Duran Duran was/is real, Folks. Today’s technology met yesterday’s fangirl when Duran Duran tweeted and Facebooked about my post. It was a dream come true that I didn’t even know was possible back in the day.
2. Real Righteous Everyday 80s Fashion
Loose mile long sleeves ending at your waistline is super flattering. We’re thinking of bringing it back.
Despite what the Disney Channel would have our kids believe, we did not walk around looking like we just jumped out of a Cyndi Lauper video . . . that was for special occasions. Mainly, we looked like we were drowning in our clothes. I had the best figure of my life and I was swallowed in Benetton and Esprit. Just look at my tiny friend above. We wore over-sized shirts, baggy pleated jeans, scrunched socks, huge bows in our hair, and over-sized blazers with linebacker shoulder pads. The only thing we tried to make small was the bottom of our jeans — those were folded, rolled and pegged. The rest of the pants were ballooning around us, but those leg openings were tight.
If you were serious, you put a safety pin in that cuff. Just to show it who was boss.
3. Totally Tubular Hair
This should probably not be its own category because it will be featured in EVERY picture, but I could not resist. Plus it gives a glimpse of the special occasion 80s. Check out those gloves! I never took them off for the entire dance. You know why? Because my hands were a blue stained Smurfy mess by the time I reached the dance. Wrapping your hands in synthetic satin makes them sweat. A lot.
That hair is big and that dress is something else — drop-waist, puffed sleeves, AND a big bow — but I’m just reminiscing about not having to wear Spanx. Which is a very good thing since it wasn’t invented and satin is not forgiving, People. — Ellen
Erin:You know, truly, that picture is not THAT bad.
Ellen: I’m easing them into it. Just wait.
4. Gnarly Accessories
Of note, this is a scan of an honest to goodness Polaroid picture — not some punk Pic Monkey frame. This post is dripping 80s. In a totally oozing way. — Ellen
It was really the accessories that made the outfits. Huge cross pendants (thanks Madonna), huge brooches, huge earrings — the 80s were B-I-G! Swatches, stacked rubber bracelets, fedoras, oh my! You could generally tell everything about a person from the buttons on their denim or Members Only jackets. I don’t think I can express enough that things were big and gaudy.
This picture was to show the buttons on my jacket. Unfortunately, most of them were on the right side, but you get the idea. I did promise the hair would get worse, so there’s that.
Erin:That hair just got real.
Ellen: Told you. Did they have straightening irons back then?
Erin:All evidence indicates no.
5. We Were All Valley Girls — Fer Shur
The 80s was all about teens adopting the ways of California. In particular we emulated Valley Girls — girls from the San Fernando Valley who spoke with atrocious grammar and diction, glorified shallowness and stupidity, and revered shopping as an art form. “Gag me with a spoon.” Our parents were so lucky. It really is beyond description. Let Moon Unit Zappa describe it to you in song. On Solid Gold no less.
6. When We Weren’t Valley Girls, We Were Skate Rats and Surfer Dudes
Check out my Jams. Just stop looking at my hair and glasses. I was a late bloomer. — Ellen
You would have thought we were all dividing our time between our surfboards and our skateboards — the Jams, the Vans, the lingo. Kate even reminded me I had a hunk of Sex Wax. I did not have a surfboard . . . or any other need for it. Now that we think about it, the 80s was like an elaborate, gaudy costume party. Except we were serious.
7. Where We Got Our Crazy Ideas
It can all be blamed on MTV born on August 1, 1981, at 12:01 a.m. At least that is our story and we’re sticking to it. See, there used to be a time when MTV had music videos . . . 24 hours a day. Our parents thought it would rot our minds. Little did they know what MTV would turn into in the 21st century. Give me a little Cyndi Lauper She Boppin’ over 16 and Pregnant any day. And yes, we know what Cyndi was getting at.
8. Well Maybe Movies Can Claim Part Of The Credit For Our Crazy Fads
It felt like movies started trends almost more than they reflected them. This was the decade where the “Coming of Age” movie ruled and John Hughes was king — The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty In Pink. Don’t forget the Brat Pack either — Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy. St. Elmo’s Fire showcased these powerhouses. And then there was The Karate Kid, Taps, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Desperately Seeking Susan, Footloose, and Say Anything. We might be going out on a limb, but John Cusack was the 80s. But wait, so was Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., Patrick Swayze, . . .
John Cusack in “Say Anything.” This would have lost so much of its punch with an iPod.
9. Totally Awesome 80s Music
We’ve already covered Ellen’s love for Duran Duran, but the 80s was pretty diverse. You had everything from pop to hair bands, from punk to techno, from acid rock to new wave. We had mixed tapes where Bon Jovi rubbed mullets with Twisted Sister while nestled next to the Dead Kennedys, The Rolling Stones, and U2. A Flock of Seagulls, The Thompson Twins, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Blondie were also favorites. We can’t forget Rick Springfield and . . .
Ahhhhhh! We can’t list all of our favorites, so let’s talk about these mixed tapes. We could not just select songs for our playlists off of iTunes. We lived in a decade where you had to work for your music. You sat poised with a tape recorder next to the radio waiting for your jam to be played and hoping the DJ did not talk over the intro. If you were ambitious, you could go around to your friends’ houses to record their tapes and – gasp – vinyl records. The sound quality was scratchy, you could hear the recorder clicking on and off, and you didn’t really want the last five seconds of the songs anyway. If you loved static, you were in heaven.
Speaking of heaven, it was glorious when the Walkman came about and you could listen to your music on the go. The belt clip was INCLUDED. Maybe you should take notes Apple.
10. The Best Part Of The 80s
Forever friends. How grateful should our children be that we did not get forever stuck in the 80s?
‘Tis the Season for imbibing, indulging, and ingesting all manner of fabulous food stuffs, but our favorite thing about holiday food is sharing it with family and friends. More specifically, The Sisterhood. The Sisterhood can throw some fantastic parties which means we break out the fancy clothes (read: no yoga pants allowed), ditch the kiddos, and pull out the industrial-strength hair products. If we are pulling out the blow-dryer, we mean business. So, without further ado, we bring you. . .
10 Things Holiday Party Food
1. On Dancer, on Prancer, on Brewsky, and Guinness!
One of the best things about a party is the drinks. And one of the best things about Erin perusing Pinterest is that she’s actually interested in getting her craft on. How do you think this self-professed non-crafter did with the Reindeer Beer?
2. Cheers!
Maybe beer isn’t your thing. Truly, you need all the gastric vacancy possible so you can stuff your pie hole with all of the yumminess yet to come. Well, a great host, maybe someone like this man . . .
. . . will make you a pomegranate martini . . . in a margarita glass.
3. Hors d’oeuvres!
Appetizers are our favorites. In fact, we love them so much, we’ll forget to take pictures until after we’ve eaten our final crudité. We are certain that the martinis . . . and Guinness . . . and wine had nothing to do with the oversight.
Imagine perfectly seared tuna, scrumptious stuffed mushrooms, and a Tavern-on-the-Green-worthy beauty of a cheese board because all we can show you is the aftermath. Maybe a swarm of locusts blew through when we weren’t looking.
4. Crab cakes and tenderloin and roasted veggies! Oh my!
5. The food does not get into your belly on its own, People!
You saw what happened to the appetizers! You CANNOT assume there will be seconds. Hostess extraordinaire, Mary, to the rescue. We didn’t have to limit ourselves to a plate of food. We got a tray-full!
6. Everyone needs an Erin at their party.
There is no charm school on this green earth that can teach this. You either have it or you don’t.
7. Cleanse your visual palette with dessert.
We do apologize that you can’t un-see Erin’s “see-food,” but how about this little darling of a dessert to bring your appetite back?
8. Fortify your cheer.
After all those carbs, a buzz can really start to lag. Time to move onto a Raspberry Vodka Seltzer.
9. Perform a spot inspection on the drink master.
Yeah, that’s right. Ellen’s drink was mixed on the top of the trashcan out of a stainless steel water bottle. Know what she did about it? Taunted everybody that she got the last one as she sucked that refreshing goodness down. She may or may not have broken out of that charm school we were mentioning. We’ll never tell.
What do you get when you bake one trillion cakes for your daughter’s birthday? Besides the accolades of your adoring family, you get a completely decimated baker’s pantry. This can be a huge problem when you have to make chocolate cookies NOW and you have no time to run to the store. While Ellen is still a devoted fan of the beloved Tollhouse cookie (And so is Erin! This recipe inspires her kids to say this about her) sometimes you have to work with what you got. Bisquick to the rescue!
Bisquick simplifies the ingredient list and it makes a dough that is made for speed. It has a drier texture than Tollhouse cookie dough so it is super easy to work with and get onto the pans. And these cookies barely spread so you can place them about one to one and a half inches apart, allowing you to bake more cookies at a time. These cookies are also a dream to get off of the pan. They easily come up with a spatula with nary a cookie lost to breakage. And the final perk? It transports so well! This is a sturdier cookie while still not being a hard.
As you can tell, we put food in its proper place in The Sisterhood, besides just our bellies, and we know how to wash it down too. Here’s a little “salut” from our peeps to yours this holiday season—an Irish Christmas blessing:
Nollaig faoi shéan is faoi shonas duit.
A prosperous and happy Christmas to you.
Full disclosure: Erin may have learned this blessing, NOT from her Irish father, but from the 24 bottles of Guinness she hot-glued antlers on.
We’re available for your festivities, too. Just contact us at 443-555-HAWT.
I’m a DIY sort of person — not on the scale of building decks or patching roofs, but let’s just say one Christmas my husband gave me a sapphire bracelet and a compound miter saw. When the toilet needs to be fixed or the cabinets need to be moved so the new refrigerator can fit in the old opening, I’m the gal for the job. And woe to the unprepared repairman who asks my husband to borrow a tool. He will just be redirected back to the “little lady” he strode past to get to the man of the house.
Unfortunately, my hot dish of competence comes with a heaping side of procrastination and a big dollop of perfectionism dripping off the plate onto Grandma’s heirloom tablecloth. It’s a double whammy, Folks. Getting started on a project is as easy for me as getting the cat to cut our grass on the Fourth of July.
“But the perfectionism is a good thing, Ellen! A perfect project is what you want, right?” you say.
Well, thanks for being my enabler, but no. My meticulousness does not spring from a bottomless well. I waste so much energy in the beginning with precision that I often fail to cross the finish line. Seriously, it’s like I’m inches from breaking the tape and I’m liked, “Meh, I ran 12.9 miles. Good enough. I think I’ll go have a margarita. And start another race.”
This towel hangs in my bathroom next to the tub with the surround I built and installed . . . with the nail holes still unfilled.
But the project I’m sharing with you today is epic and finished (well, it will be by the time I post this — fingers crossed). And epic is not hyperbole. This project spanned two centuries.
A Gazillion Steps to Finishing Two Lingerie Chests
Now don’t get all hot and bothered. I don’t have enough lingerie to fill two pieces of furniture. It’s just what they’re called and these are the drawers that would fit on either side of the TV armoire . . . a piece of furniture that is now obsolete and needs to go because we want a bigger flat screen. But the easiest way to get it out would be to take an ax to it and I don’t have that kind of violence simmering within me right now.
Anyway, back to my project that begins at the turn of the century in 1999 . . .
The Steps
1. Buy two unfinished pieces of furniture because you want to be creative and do something special with them.
2. Realize that your time would be wasted doing something special with them because there is no Facebook or Pinterest on which to show them off. Incidentally, you discover you are pregnant with your second child and think huffing hydrocarbons would not be the responsible thing to do.
3. Put chests in storage for 13 years. Wait for social media to take the world by storm.
4. Rejoice that there is Pinterest and remember that you have a project to complete. Remembering is not hard since you have to climb over these drawers every year to excavate the Christmas decorations.
5. Pin all the things to make these chests ever-loving fabulous!
6. Decide to haul drawers out of the basement to the garage in May 2012. This is not only the end of the school year, but the end of two milestone school years — my oldest graduating from 8th grade and my youngest graduating from 5th grade. My calendar looked like this.
Believe me, even when it wasn’t blurred to protect the innocent, it was hard to follow.
7. Fail to get drawers completed — and by completed, I mean started — before school ends.
8. Spend summer having fun and not parking in the garage. Beat down anxiety as junk slowly creeps into the space where the car use to be.
9. Kids are back in school! Clear out garage to get to the drawers. This only takes a day or 15.
The creep is strong in this house it is.
10. Search through stash to see if you have anything with which to complete this project. After all, DIY is supposed to be economical!
11. Find some pretty cream colored glazing stain. Remember that yes, this is what you wanted to do with the chests. But alas the jar is tiny and the company that made it went out of business. Mourn the loss because you’re sure it would have worked really well. Since they were good enough to stay in business and all.
12. Say, “Patooey! This project has been over a decade in the making, but I don’t have time for that whole staining process. To the Home Depot for spray paint!”
13. Buy a case of spray paint because you are NOT going to get burned with that whole “going out of business” thing again. No siree. Spend a mortgage payment on drawer pulls while you’re there.
14. It is time to start sanding. Whoopee! Nothing is more fun than scraping your knuckles and breathing in sawdust. Pull out the first drawer and find the knobs you bought a lifetime ago — my youngest daughter’s lifetime that is. They are perfect, but this leads you to the next chore . . .
15. Return the recently purchased knobs to Home Depot. Celebrate your new found fortune . . . until you write your mortgage check.
Hawt
16. Put on a super cute outfit and commence sanding. Make sure you do it well and go with the grain. My furniture was bare so I started with a fine grit sanding sponge. Sanding is the foundation to a great finish. (REAL TIP ALERT!)
17. Search for a tack cloth to remove the dust, the next step to a smooth finish. For some reason you can’t find one on your work bench.
It’s so puzzling why I can’t find anything.
18. Declare, “I am NOT going back to Home Depot.” Wipe chests with a damp cloth and raise the grain of the wood. Anyone who knows the term “raising the grain” should not be stupid enough to do it. (REAL TIP ALERT: Raising the grain means to make the wood fibers swell up. It can be a good idea to do this if you are staining a piece because you swell the fibers and can sand them down BEFORE you start to stain. If you’re using spray paint, this step just sucks away your time and patience.)
19. Begin sanding process again. Skulk to Home Depot to buy a $1.79 tack cloth. Spend $20 on pansies while you’re there because, you know, you need another project.
20. REAL TIP ALERT: Prime the chests using a color close to your final color. I used a red brown since my final color was a metallic copper.
Smoothing with a paper bag
21. Start spraying your layers of final color. REAL TIP ALERT: Follow the directions on the can exactly. You can do a couple of light coats within ONE HOUR, but not too many or your paint will start to sag. After that one hour passes you have to wait 48 hours for the next coat. Really. The key to a good spray paint finish is for the finish to cure and harden rather than remain gummy. In between dry coats, buff the surface lightly with a paper bag to smooth it before you start spray painting again.
Rock on
22. Pretend you’re a quirky pop star with your new metallic fingertip.
23. Repeat steps 21 and 22 until your piece is evenly finished. You may want to find something to pass the time while you are waiting for the paint to cure. I chose an emergency appendectomy, but use your own judgement.
24. Panic that Superstorm Sandy is coming and might flood your garage. Move drawers into living room.
Hit me up if you want some Feng Shui tips
25. Decide that this project has not dragged on long enough and you need to up the wow factor by upholstering the sides. Give yourself a hard deadline by scheduling a sleepover party with 14 tween girls for your daughter’s birthday.
26. Pattern match, measure, and cut the fabric and batting for the sides.
27. Allow yourself a moment to freak the hell out when you turn the furniture over and discover a bevvy of spider eggs cases. Resist setting the drawers on fire. You’ve come too far.
28. Staple! But first relocate your cat to another room so that she does not wrap herself around your head at the first <Whamp>.
29. Take a break until 2 days before the party. Make sure to include the stapler in your cleaning routine.
30. Get your butt in gear because you have a cake to bake! Finish the edges of the fabric panels with ribbon and brass tacks. Smash your fingers and destroy the “brass” finish on the tack with the first whack of the hammer.
31. REAL TIP ALERT: Remember the trick of holding the tack with a fork or comb and search for your tack hammer. For some reason, you still can’t find anything on your work bench. Pilfer the mouse pad that was included in your awesome prize basket that you won in the twisted crafting contest sponsored by The Bearded Iris and The Suniverse and wrap it around the only hammer out of five that you can find.
Thanksgiving has us thinking of circles — circles of love, circles of family, circles of friendship, circles of life . . . and now you’ve got The Lion King song blaring through your head. You’re welcome.
What Thanksgiving didn’t leave us with was a lot of spare time for blogging. Erin and her brood spent the better part of the week with her family only to drive back for two and a half hours to drop her girl child off at Ellen’s house for Jellybean’s (12) rockin’ sleepover. This sleepover went much smoother than some in the past and for that Ellen is grateful. With 14 girls there was the potential for much to go wrong.
So we’re thankful that Monday Listicles only required us to share 10 photos from our cell phones. THAT we can handle.
Ten Circles
1. Circling Above
Smithsonian Institution National Museum of Natural History
2. Dupont Circle Studs
Renaissance Hotel Lobby Dupont Circle Washington DC
Erin’s Aunt makes each kid their own pie for Thanksgiving dinner Yummy AND sweet!
9. Psychedelic Circles
Cloud Gate aka “The Bean” Chicago, IL
10. Grammatically Questionable Circle
Found on the Christmas Bazaar Baked Goods Table
So in the end, we are thankful for being able to find the funny in every day. We are also grateful to Jessica Betke at Jesse’s Spot for making blogging fun and easy this week. We love ecards too and her funny Thanksgiving post made us giggle. Finally, this week and every week, we are also appreciative of Stasha for providing such a fun place to land every Monday.
