Category Archives: Monday Listicles

Evil Joy Lurks Below the Surface of The Sisterhood

Alright,we are just gonna lay this out for you: we have a great friendship. We laugh, we hang, and we respect each other. Truly. You have heard us wax poetic about each other here, here, and here. We started this blog together because our parenting styles are so in sync. Hello? Sensible Moms.

But every once in a loooooong while, we just take the slightest, teensiest, most microscopic joy in watching the other one squirm. Most of the time, we are both just one missing shoe away from losing our minds, so watching the other teeter on the precipice provides validation that no one is perfect and we’re all just doing the best that we can to keep the crazy train on the tracks.

Butttttt, it also provides pure, indulgent entertainment. If that makes us slightly evil, we are 100% A-OK with that because we look darn good in black and have been diligently practicing our maniacal laughs.

10 Evil Joys of The Sensible Moms

1. Scanner Bite in the Butt

Erin has been telling Ellen for no less than one year that she is about to hook up her scanner. So far, it has only bitten Ellen and the blog in the arse until last Thursday . . .

Erin: Oh my goodness! This morning, like at 6:45 AM, I found out that Biddie (14) needs a 2 x 3 baby picture of herself for her school’s yearbook and the deadline to email it is TODAY! She was born pre-digital! Ahhhhh! I’m headed over to a friend’s house right now to scan one before the bell rings.

Ellen: Oh, is it inconvenient for you not to have a scanner? I can’t imagine what that feels like. Oh wait, I can.

Erin: Not quite the support I was looking for.

Ellen: How about this? Plug in the blasted USB cord.

2. Throwing Gasoline on Girls’ Night Out

Ellen: Erin gets plenty of flexibility training patting herself on the back for her peacemaking abilities . . . and she really should because she has mad skills. She is the one we turn to all of the time to cool down heated discussions and and to salve hurt feelings. But every once in a while, she loses her ever-loving mind over the most unlikely subjects.

Erin: I’m sorry, but Andy Griffith really is not that great.

Ellen: That’s right, folks. She ground not one, but two soirees to a halt because she could keep silent no more about her loathing for Mr. Griffith.

Source: sisterhoodofthesensiblemoms.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest

Erin: Seriously? Do we need to rehash this? We already covered it here and, I might add, we decided that I deserved a sliver of vindication.

Ellen: Take your sliver if it makes you feel better. I’m just over here enjoying the chuckles it still gives me.

3. Keening Over Keens

Ellen: So while we are on the subject of Erin losing her mind over the most unlikely topics . . .

Erin: I’m ready to start spreading the evil joy around to someone else . . .

Ellen: There was this one time, while on our Big Love camping trip, that she wanted to stage a photo with all of the Keen sandals.

Erin: C’mon, it was pretty cool that all 5 moms and all 13 kids had Keens. It was like an advertisement!

Ellen: I am totally with you that it was a great picture . . .

A photo like this just doesn’t happen.

Ellen: But here is what YOU always like to refer to as “the rest of the story.” Seriously, if you want to see behind the curtain of The Sisterhood, you MUST watch this.

Erin: The shoes were not matching up because Biddie(14) wasn’t paying attention when she grabbed her Keens out of the garage and picked up TWO DIFFERENT SIZES. And I had to ask a bajillion times for her to even do that.

Ellen: I still maintain that while she made a blister-inducing bed, she snuggled down in it and NEVER complained once that her shoes weren’t fitting. What more could you want?

Erin: How about owning up to it when I was LOSING MY MIND because it looked like we were missing two shoes because of the mismatched pair?

Ellen: Fine. But what is your excuse for the Christmas tree debacle?

4. Christmas Farm or Funny Farm?

Erin: Oh, Ellen, might have been slightly jealous of my Christmas tree-getting tradition in the past. With its rosy glow of familial harmony, it was practically a Hallmark commercial. But that was all in the past. This year, things got ugly on my end and it was Ellen’s turn to smirk. Apparently, there’s only so much Norman Rockwell to go around.

Ellen: I took my evil joy with a side of fabulous family memories topped with some Beyonce-level awesomeness.

5. Bloggers Dance Meltdown

Erin: Back in May, we played with the gracious, funny Kerry at House Talkn who hosts Blogger’s Dance.

Ellen: Let’s be accurate, I played. YOU were still struggling with some of the more technical aspects of blogging and STILL telling me you were about to hook up your scanner.

Erin: I did try to talk you out of it.

Ellen: That is one of the more helpful things you did because it did set me with a fit.

Erin: You took to the tech-y side of blogging like a Gremlin to water . . .

Ellen: I’m not sure that analogy is complimentary . . .

Erin: So it was with the wee-est, teensiest, most minuscule bit of joy that I watched the video have its way with you.

Ellen: Dude! Part of the problem was that YOU couldn’t get the video off of your camera and I had to construct your part on Paint (I know! Right?) with a photo MARY emailed to me because YOU never sent me one.

Erin: What’s done is done because the end product was so worth every hour spent, tear shed, and drop of alcohol consumed. You can read the original post here. Or just get your boogie on with the video . . .

If this inspired you to get your groove on, there is still time to dance your way into Kerry’s Valentine’s Day link-up.

6. Crock O’ Something

Erin: Whilst Big Lov-ing with some of our Sisterhood friends this summer, I thought I made an interesting discovery while making our awesome Chicken Bar-B-Q. I felt like Erin The Science Gal.

Ellen: Here it comes.

Erin: But to feed the army that was five families camping, we brought two crockpots—Ellen’s with the dark crock and Erin’s with the white crock. Same ingredients. Same time. Same everything. Different results. Hmmmm. Well, the theories started a-flying. I believed the color of the insert made a difference.

Ellen: I think that is a crock of you-know-what (Pun!). The entire Sisterhood, not just me, delighted in the way this knocked Erin off her rocker.

Erin: I may or may not be planning a legit science experiment to prove my point. Stay tuned.

Aww, does this look like a group who would throw down over crockpots?? Why, Yes. Yes, it does!

7. Mother’s Day Madness

Ellen: Nothing can send a woman over the edge faster than her family proclaiming that they will devote an entire day to her and her needs when she knows them better than anyone and knows that ain’t gonna happen—no way, no how.

Erin: Mother’s Day 2012 took Ellen down and hard. I, not yet knowing that Andy Griffith, the Keens, the crockpot, and the tree farm would do me in, delighted in Ellen’s monumental Momma meltdown.

Ellen: Oh, Karma is one sneaky devil, she is.

Ellen, Post-Tasmanian-Devil-Style Flip-Out Over Mother’s Day, her calendar, etc.

8. Travel Team Tantrums

Erin: Having kids on travel teams for soccer for the last few years, I almost choked when Ellen told me Coco (14) was joining a travel volleyball league. And then I laughed. But I swear, it was really more in commiseration. I was laughing with her, not at her.

Ellen: Yeah. To be fair, I did my research and the team had NEVER gone to ANY all weekend tournaments. . . until this year, that is.

Erin: I thought I had told you that Travel Team is code for Gas-Guzzling, Time-Sucking, Money-Grubbing Sports Enterprise.

Ellen: I think you undersold it.

Erin: Well, I think in this case the joke’s on both of us.

9. Will Smith Gets Us But No One Else Does

Ellen: Remember wayyyyy back in the day when the Fresh Prince sang, “Parents just don’t understand”. He felt us. Honestly.

Erin: Our families and friends get that we blog. But let’s just say the majority don’t get why or how and, frankly, really don’t understand it. At all. Which is totally OK. But we do get a little evil joy when one of them says, “Well, maybe I’ll go write a blog too”.

Ellen: To which we say, “Peace out. Rock on.” And then cackle into our magic mirrors.

10. The last evil joy

Erin: I’ll admit that there was this one time I got a little smug about my triumph on the blog. We were skewering a children’s book for Ninja Mom’s Character Assassination Carousel, and we thought it would be better to read it aloud, like a read-along story. After HOURS of working (Read: crying, stomping my feet like a two year old, and throwing back some whiskey sour slushies like they were water), I finally got the audio player on to the post. My first thought? I showed Ellen.

Ellen: And MY first thought was, “Ha! I’m glad that you had a hard time with it, because the tech side of blogging has been sucking my time like a leech.”

And on that note . . .

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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For Valentine’s Day Pintershizz

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Here’s the deal. Between January 31st and February 11th, both of us have birthdays and so do our husbands, so by the time Valentine’s Day rolls around this is pretty much how we feel:

Now don’t go calling us the Grinches of Valentine’s Day. We’re just tired of spending and doing by the time the 14th rolls round. Seriously, it’s hard enough mustering enthusiasm for birthdays once you high-five forty, but birthdays lurking along less than 50 days after Christmas? Meh. And then Valentine’s Day about a week later? Well, Sweet Brown up there expressed it best. We’re turning to our old pal Pintershizz to find —

10 Things Pintershizz We Don’t Have Time For on Valentine’s Day

1. Going out to dinner.

Does this surprise you? In theory it sounds good and we do love date nights with our husbands. However, Valentine’s Day is like amateur night: the menus are often fixed, the prices are hiked, and the service is lousy because the poor wait staff is running ragged fluttering those rose petals over champagne toasts. Give us a random Friday night out instead and we’ll swoon. Plus, Ellen still hasn’t gotten over the memory of the V-Day about 21 years ago when she and her husband got the worst case of food poisoning they have ever endured. The restaurant was named Il Fiore, but will forever be known as The ILL Fiore to Ellen and Frank.

You might consider al fresco dining as a way to beat the crowds, but it is February, People. A table for two outside can quickly turn into gurneys for two in the Emergency Room. Because frostbite. Unless you’re in the tropics and then why are you reading this post? It’ gorgeous, get outside. Pinterest source.

2. Flowers

Okay, now maybe we ARE vying for the title of “Grinches of Valentine’s Day,” but flowers on V-day just seem so trite, and well, easy. And oh my goodness, they are expensive. Just surprise us with daisies on a random day in June and use the rest of the flower fund to make us some spare keys for our vans so we have a 60% chance of getting out of the house on time.

Get a bonus King Kong sized box of Claritin if you order right now with promo code: thismakesmethinkyouareguiltyaboutsomething. Pinterest source.

3. Torture devices passing as sexy

Okay, we like sexy just as much as the next girl, but if it is going to cause us the discomfort of a thousand cactus needles being shoved under our fingernails while simultaneously enduring Justin Beiber piped directly into our craniums, then you can just throw that mess onto the Pintershit pile, too.

On second thought, maybe these will keep Pushy Peggy from running up on our junk in the Walmart checkout line. Pinterest source.

4. Lingerie

C’mon. Who’s the lingerie really for? Is it really a gift for us? See above if you’ve forgotten that quickly how we feel about sexy items passing for torture devices. Take Granny’s advice—nothing says sexy louder than a girl who is comfortable in her own ~~skin~~ panties—emphasis on the comfortable.

Is it underwear or washable birth control? Pinterest source.

5. Man Costumes

No!! Just because we said that lingerie was not exactly a gift for us, we didn’t mean our men had to dress up! This does not qualify as a gift either . . . although there is the gift of laughter to consider.

Want to see my toaster streudal? Pinterest source.

6. Geekery Fashion

We know we’ve just been yucking it up with the granny panties and with lederhosen, but Valentine’s Day really isn’t the time for gag gifts. If it makes you snicker in the store, just walk away or throw it on the Pintershizz bonfire.

It’s a puzzle, it’s a purse, no, it’s a bad idea. Pinterest source.

7. Things to Make Homemaking Easier

Get it together! No appliances are to be given on Valentine’s Day! Even a vacuum this cool can’t get you out of the doghouse . . . unless it comes with a FULL TIME housekeeper à la The Brady Bunch. So to clarify: any appliance without an “Alice” is Pintershizz.

The only thing that will be wanted if we receive appliances for Valentine’s Day is us . . . for murder. Pinterest source.

8. Sweets

We can hear you saying, “What is wrong with you two? What is so bad about candy on Valentine’s Day?” Well, let’s just say we’ve been working really hard trying to beat the post-40 bulge and we don’t actually want to fit into those granny panties.

Nope. No jewelry in here, only diabeetus. Pinterest source.

9. The Love Toilet

Do we really have to explain why this is Pintershizz? C’mon, you’re better than that!

What better way to spend $1400 than to pave your way to divorce court? Pinterest source.

10. The Wine Purse

What did we say about tacky gag gifts . . . wait a minute. This is pure genius! Write this one down.

Making friends at PTA meetings since 2014. Pinterest source.

So what will we accept on Valentine’s Day since we have just poo-pooed a ton of the classics and then some? Well,we’d never turn away jewelry.

Earrings always fit no matter how much Halloween/Christmas/Valentine’s Day candy you indulge in. Pinterest source.

Unless it looks like this! Get your head in the game!

Their dreams of us making supplemental income as voodoo priestesses are just gonna have to die. Maybe we could sell their baseball cards instead? Pinterest source.

The direct route to the romance-filled center of our hearts? A night away—No! A weekend away!—fully planned by our hubbies INCLUDING arrangements for the kids and pets. That last piece of planning is what makes this the true gift of romance. Can we get an “Amen”? But even the gazillion points they would earn by scheduling babysitting would be cancelled out if they took us here.

Nothing is more romantic than hanky-panky in a drainpipe. Pinterest source.

Happy Valentine’s Day from the oh-so-easy-to-please Sensible Sisterhood!

May you NOT receive these Pintershizz-y gifts this Valentine’s Day!

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Well, The Coyote Is Outta The Bag

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Just when you think you know a girl, look in her purse.

Here’s what went down.

Last weekend was the 10th Annual Sisterhood Mother-Daughter Christmas Tea Party. Are you doing the math? It was JANUARY last weekend—NOT December.

Ten years ago, when we were young mothers, we thought a tea party would be a grand idea—one more chance for the sweet babies to wear their pretty Christmas dresses! We even had little tea pots, and there was, and still is, a book exchange among the not-so-little-any-more girls (yep, we started the love-of-books-brain-washing young!). This year, an evil virus took down one of the families over Christmas, hence, the post-holiday date. With our combined schedules, we are oh-so-lucky we weren’t singing yuletide carols by the pool in June, but, whatever, on with the Fa-La-La-ing.

Yep, that is a coyote skin the girls are dangling over the balcony. Perhaps “Tea Party” is a little too high rent for what we have going on.

We were all just sitting around coffee-klatching it up. Yes, we know we JUST said it was a TEA party, but it was decided about 3 seconds into the first tea party that the tea was really just for the girls. (And really the “tea” was water because we’re not insane.) We Moms require something with a little higher octane. The lovely afternoon hummed with the sounds of old friends catching up and the girls playing oh-so-beautifully when . . .

Ellen: Why on earth do you have a paper towel roll in your purse? You don’t even use paper towels.

Erin: embarrassed giggle

Ellen: I feel like I just walked in on a vegetarian devouring a Big Mac.

Suddenly all eyes are on Erin. The Sisterhood all know The Big Secret, but most people do not: Erin’s family does not use paper towels. They broke their Bounty habit about 4 years ago and haven’t looked back. The only negative is when people find out. Nothing gets a room whipped into a frenzy faster than a woman who has abandoned her paper products. They start sputtering, “HOW can you do that?” Then they belligerently berate, “But what about raw meat juices and vomit!?!” And it goes on and on.

So Erin is quick to go on the defensive when someone shines a spotlight on it— like lightning-fast, hair-trigger defensive. You CANNOT believe how crazy people get over the No-Paper-Towel lifestyle. Or can you? Calm yourself. It’s not like she doesn’t use toilet paper.

Ultimately, this was not a grand confessional moment. She was only the runner! Erin was ferrying the paper towel rolls to a neighbor to be transformed into swords for a birthday party. Can we all just agree now that Pinterest is going to be the death of us all?

But it definitely got us to thinking about what other secrets might be uncovered in the great abysses known as our purses. So here’s . . .

10 Things Our Purses Reveal About Us

Ellen

Erin is not the only environmentalist in the Sisterhood — her with her radical No Paper Towel Policy. My purse shows that I’m trying to save the planet by keeping the world’s garbage in my purse instead of sending it to a landfill. Here are some highlights.

1. Same red bird ornament as Erin.

The first rule of Red Bird Club is do not talk about Red Bird Club.

2. Sunday School ornament nestled up to some screws.

Can we take a moment to respect the character that is my baby? In church, my 12 year old sunshine created a Christmas decoration hashtagged YOLO and SWAG. While SWAG might be fitting for my Savior, He definitely was THE exception for “You only live once.”

Can we not talk about why I have not one, but ~~two~~ five Christmas ornaments in my purse in February?

By the way, matching up those screws is what is standing between me and a finished laundry closet. That and 13 hours of labor.

3. USB cord.

I’m a gal who is always prepared. In the countryside that I call home, it is not uncommon for internet to drop out. When you do something as important as blog for no profit, you need to be prepared to tether your cell phone as a hotspot . . . that is, if you happen to have any bars. I should blog with smoke signals.

4. Two wallets are heavier than one.

See that super cute Coach wristlet on the left? That was going to be the answer to lightening my load – only the essential cards and cash AND I could just grab it and go when I didn’t want to drag around my whole garbage can, I mean purse. The reality? I haven’t cleaned my wallet out to make sure I have all of my essentials, so now I’m dragging them BOTH around.

5. A card is worth a thousand words.

This trio of cards landed together. It was like a tea leaves reading: a Dunkin’ Donuts card, a Lego card, and a Kohl’s coupon for Black Friday. (Once again, I know it is now February.) Make of it what you will.

Erin

I kind of suspect that this is what the inside of my head looks like.

6. Same Red Bird as Ellen

First Rule of Red Bird Club is do not talk about Red Bird Club.

7. 400 Speed Film

Hmmm. I don’t even use my film camera any more since I took up with the fabulous DSLR Nikon. Yes, ladies, sometimes shiny and new can sway you from tried and true. I suspect I found these when cleaning out a drawer and said “Wow, I should really get that developed”, but I have no recollection of having this conversation with myself. Perhaps the person who swiped my camera bag left these in exchange. It’ s a Nancy Drew mystery.

8. Business Cards

Super important to have on hand when you are blogging for no profit.

9. Survival Stockpile

Purse or Suburban Mom Survivalist pack? You decide. You can’t really see it in this picture, but there’s even an emergency medical kit hidden in an Altoids tin, complements of my little Cub Scout. With this bag in tow, just grab a great hat, put on your best Indiana Jones swagger, and pilot that mini-van towards your next adventure. You could survive for days in the suburban jungle with this mess.

10. Birth Certificate and Social Security Card

All apologies to my mom and dad who actually spent one Saturday morning looking through THEIR files for these documents. I found these nice and safe in an envelope in my purse.

Who carries around their birth certificate, you ask? This girl!! You see I am going away with my husband for the first time in a long time. Not away, like “Hey, kids, we are hanging out in the basement. Go destroy the rest of the house” away, but more like “Hey, we’ll send you a postcard. Please don’t kill your grandparents before we get back” kind of away.

We are going on the kind of away that requires a passport and about 40 mom-hours worth of work before the magical, hanging-out with my husband sans kids can happen. Super-excited for the trip AND that I found these documents!

Of course, our souvenir from the last trip like this is in kindergarten now, which reminds of a few more things that I should put on my to-do list.

PS– Do you see that I carry my husband’s old swiss army knife?? Wasn’t kidding about that Survivalist pack.

So, in the end, this look inside the purses doesn’t end up being a grand confessional either. Just more of what you have come to expect: a little silly, a little sensible, a little sweet.

Click the link to read some other great posts over at Monday Listicles !

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Thanks! Erin and Ellen

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10 Things We Never Dreamed to Dream

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Erin: You never know what kids are going to come up with at any given moment. This moment actually began as an obnoxiously olfactory one. Abercrombie and Fitch punched me in the face as I stood in the bedroom door. I was choking on a tsunami of Axe molecules as I managed to croak out, “What’s goin’ on in here?” to the tiny nearly naked boy STILL spraying himself head to toe with the stuff.

“Ace said this makes you grow hair. I want to be a bear.”

Ellen: Ha! That’s adorable and I admire his commitment to his dream.

Quite frankly, I can’t remember wanting to be anything, but a doctor at any age, and, gee, I’m really glad I picked that.

Erin: I know I wanted to be an astronaut. My family actually nicknamed me Space Puppy, and that was BEFORE the movie Space Camp too, so you KNOW I was serious.

Ellen: Well, aren’t we just a couple of cute clichés. But here’s the thing, I got the degree, but I’m not practicing. You’re not an astronaut, you space out sometimes, but you’re not an astronaut. But really, you made the right choice since there is essentially no space program now. Were there any other dream “bullets” you dodged?

Erin: I couldn’t have dreamt up the life I have now when I was 5 or 10 or even 20. Once I left the daily grind to stay home with my kids, that’s when the possibilities really opened up.

Ellen: I couldn’t agree more, so without further ado. . .

Ten Things We Never Dreamed of Doing When We Were Kids

1. Park Rangers

Don’t worry, they didn’t give us guns.

2. Taste Testers

If you’re going to dabble in Pinterest occasionally you’ll get a mouth full of Pintershit.

3. Cowgirl

Erin mourns the loss of this hat. Should she??

4. SAHM Cheer Squad

Give me a “S” Give me an “A” Give me an “H” Give me a “M” What’s that spell? Chronically tired and under-appreciated!

5. Milkmaid

You really never plan on being a Milkmaid, however . . .

6. Unibomber Posse

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

7. Zombie Wedding Planner

At least they weren’t picky about the freshness of the flowers or the cake. And we did win a trophy.

8. Swingers

What did you think we meant?

9. Synchronized Swimmers

Don’t try this at home. Years of practice.

10. Synchronized Divers

Don’t try this at home either.

We always thought we would have more dignity and make more money. Our guidance counselors really could have prepared us better.

Click the link to read some other great posts over at Monday Listicles !

And don’t forget to click the little pink circle below to vote for us as one of the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom Blogs. It takes just a minute! Push us, push us real good into the Top 25!

Thanks! Erin and Ellen

You can vote once per 24 hours until February 13th. So click it so we can quit begging!

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Skeletons In Our Closets

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This week’s Monday Listicle is 10 Things In Your Closets. We don’t know about you, but we might be a little bit behind in our closet cleaning . . . cleaning out the skeletons that is.

What kind of secrets were you expecting, sicko? Isn’t Ellen’s 80s hair scandalous enough?

Now wait! We see you getting all excited, grabbing the popcorn, and pulling up a chair. We’re not going to reveal that Ellen was a Bolivian black market KitchenAid mixer dealer or that Erin leads a double life as a Kool-Aid pusher (unless that Kool-Aid is Downton Abbey).

We’re talking more along the lines of closets harboring the skeletons of hobbies and projects past, the ghosts of times gone by, and the detritus from portions of our personalities that we try to keep under wraps. While it may not be in the same league as Lance Armstrong airing his dope-dripping laundry on Oprah, we’re throwing open the doors anyway.

10 Skeletons In Our Closets

Ellen

1. Imelda Marcos, much?

Don’t be fooled by my yoga pants. I have A LOT of shoes and some of them are even pretty hot. They should all be contained in that cubby of shelves, but since I gave my husband the one shelf for his, mine have had to invade other regions of the closet. Yes, I am blaming him. End of story.

The sign reads “There is always room for one more pair!” But that sign is a liar. A hoarding, dirty liar.

2. Sentimental streak.

You see my foyer coat closet? It is sized for a family of one and only if that one person lived in Florida and really had no need for anything beyond a rain jacket. It is packed to bursting with coats spilling over to a hall tree, yet I can’t get rid of this puffy pink snowsuit. Both of my girls wore that adorable thing and they are 12 and 14. I have even gone so far as to put it in a donation box not once, but twice. Each time I have rescued it at the last second. It is a bow that plucks at my heartstrings. Don’t roll your eyes. I chucked the high chair, binkies, and Candyland without blinking. Just ignore that box marked “Toddler Halloween Costumes.” I’m going to use them to dry my tears when they leave for college.

Ovary aching sweetness or Hoarders cry for help?

3. Jewelry making is a virtue. Or does it bring out my flaws?

I used to make jewelry all of the time. I went to beads shows, I subscribed to jewelry-making magazines, and I would hate to tally up the cost of the findings, beads, and tools that I have amassed. But I haven’t made a piece of jewelry in over three years. I could blame motherhood, but I took up the hobby when my girls were toddlers. I could blame blogging, but that has only been going on for a year. What’s really to blame? It’s that little flaw/virtue of my personality known as perfectionism. I loved my creations, but the creating made me want to throat punch a troll, or I guess more aptly, a troll bead.

So what do you do with a hobby that feels like work, but has too much worth to chuck? Shove it into your closet.

It’s cheaper to just buy jewelry when you factor in the cost of a nervous breakdown.

4. Ellen is SEW crafty.

Boy, do I have the supplies! But I really don’t want to over-sell myself, I’m really just Master of the Straight Seam. There was a Toto costume back in the Spring of ’05, but my therapist says it’s best just to tamp that memory down and never speak of it again. But what is really highlighted here is my reign as Queen of Unfinished Projects. See those brackets above those lovely cafe curtains in my bathroom that I finished a mere three years ago? They should hold a swag. Heh, heh, Swag. I’m just going to holler, “YOLO!” and move on.

Why yes, that is a dead plant in the foreground

5. The harbinger of a new era! An era of finished projects!

This is where it all changes: the laundry closet project! It was ever so wisely embarked upon the week before Christmas when it’s progress was halted by my flu-slide-into-the-most-killer-sinus-infection-ever sickness. But as Tide is my witness, I WILL see this through to the end. Watch for the next installment of Pintershit to read all about it. (But you shouldn’t hold your breath. Just sayin’.)

Erin

6. Treasure Trove of Trucks

Hess Trucks are super-fun toys. For me, they are also part of a family Christmas Tradition lasting almost 40 years. I love that my dad is continuing this tradition with my kids. We treat these presents about 1000% better than every other toy that comes through the door, especially any that light up. I am a true fan, but should they really be taking up so much valuable real estate? This collection doesn’t just span 15 plus years, it spans the entire width and breadth of the boys’ closet.

Note to Readers: Lack of wide angle lens makes collection appear smaller than actual size.

7. Do Your Best

Neckerchiefs, Hats, and a Bag of Badges on Master Bedroom top shelf

. . . to refrain from mocking or finger-pointing after this confession. . .

I am a full-on, sleeves-rolled-up, hiking, biking, camping, smores-making Cub Scout leader. In my Behind-the-Music (Don’t mock! We can all dream. I still have 40 years to check this one off my bucket list!), there would be a fair amount of time (10 years and counting!) dedicated to my time in Scouting. With 3 of my boys (the littlest has yet to join the pack), I have led Tigers, Wolves, and Bears (oh, my!) and served every position there is in a Cub Scout pack. I don my brown shirt with pride (although I bought it post-baby sized for a nursing décolletage I no longer possess). My garage is also full of two storage shelves full of scout stuff and I used to have two push-carts in our shed out back, but those are posts for another day. I am all in!!

Check out all the cool things I have done with the boys! Oh, and my uber-hawtness! Nothing better than a girl in uniform. Just sayin.

8. Shutterbug

Me loves some, me precious!! The way Ellen joneses for shoes, imagine me and photography stuff. The ONLY good thing that came from losing my camera bag was that my dear photographer friends introduced me to the two great photography websites, Adorama and B &H . It will make securing that wide angle lens my heart is now set on so much easier to obtain.

My little stash. Room for SOOOOOO Much More.

9. It’s Not What’s Inside That Counts

My kids have the grace of a herd of stampeding elephants. When they were little, closet doors succumbed to their indelicate touch on a daily basis. So I did what any self-respecting Momma would do: I ripped those suckers off their hinges. It has worked out great, and I never thought about it again until Biddie’s 14th birthday this year. When asked what she would like to celebrate this special milestone, did she ask for a laptop, an iPhone, or a Visa card? Hellz, no. “Well, some closet doors might be nice.” Parenting fail.

All A Girl Wants Is Some Closet Doors!

10. Oh, No She Didn’t!

. . .Want a Wedding, that is. Absolutely not. Well, I wanted a wedding—I was a girl in love after all—but I was none too sure about all the rest of it. If Pinterest had been around back then, it probably would have sent me into cardiac arrest or straight to a psychiatrist’s couch. After Steve talked me into letting him buy me an engagement ring, he then talked me into a wedding, and you know what? I loved it all! I thought my wedding was beautiful and meaningful. I thought my reception was a blast. But, in the end, the things I was head over heels for (besides Steve, of course!) were my dress and my veil. Perhaps that is why my veil box is taking up a full corner of the smallest master closet known to man. Who knows? But check out these pictures!! That is one happy girl then! And now!

Silly Wabbit, veils are for girls!!

Thanks again to Stasha for giving us the time and space for some much-needed catharsis! Make sure you take a moment to check out all the great bloggers linked up to Monday Listicles this week. They are always good fun! Erin and Ellen

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The Marital Code of Movie Quotes

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Monday Listicles this week is “10 Best Movie Quotes” as suggested by the fabulous, funny and sensible Ally from Just A Normal Mom. So you know what that means? We got the husbands involved again just like we did for the James Bond post.

Erin: In addition to this just being fun, we learned something about our marriages, even after all these years . . .

Ellen: And we are talking years! I have 19 years and Erin has 16 years notched on the old garter belts.

Erin: Don’t do the math, people! As far as you know, we were child brides.

Ellen: That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it. Anyway, my husband and I have a short hand, semi-secret, vernacular based on movie quotes! I never really realized it until writing this post.

Erin: Steve and I do the same thing!

Ellen: Do other couples do this??

Erin: Hard to say, but let’s just assume our semi-secret code will be secret no more.

The Marital Code of Movie Quotes

Ellen and Frank

1.“O’Doyle Rules!”

Usage — (1) To proclaim superiority when crushing someone else (2) Ending to a conversation involving waxing poetic about our awesomeness.

Remember the bullish family of kids who plagued Billy Madison with acts of obnoxiousness at nearly every grade level as he took his speedy second chance run through his entire 12 years of school and always bellowed “O’Doyle Rules!”? That’s us. Sort of.

Whenever we crush at something major like UNO, Trivial Pursuit, or swimming pool water blaster fights, we always exclaim, “O’Doyle Rules!” But truly we say it with love and mostly to each other.

We also end our (private) conversations where we catch ourselves congratulating ourselves for our fabulosity with this little proclamation. Helps us keep our obnoxiousness from spilling over into the public arena. You’re welcome.

2. “Imagine it.”

Usage — (1) Usually uttered by Frank when Ellen has the audacity to complain that he is blocking her view of the TV, parade, shoe sale rack, etc. (2) Less likely to provoke a rabbit punch when used to indicate you’re not sure how something is going to end.

All you need to know is that The Skulls is about the worst elitist frat boy ever who utters this to a girl whose view he was blocking at a rowing race.

Scene -Generically Pretty Blonde (GPB) sitting there chilling and taking in a rowing race, like we all like to do. Paul Walker’s character, Caleb Mandrake (I know, right?) struts over like a rooster on Viagra and plops in front of her. Like 2 inches in front of her, because, you know, he’s super cool.

GPB: “Hey, Caleb, I can’t see.”

Caleb (without turning around): “Imagine it.”

Okay, I admit it, he IS cool.

3. “When do you drink vodka?” “Whenever.”

Usage — Mostly used by Frank to express an unknown completion date of some task.

To really get this gem, you have to hear the “Whenever” deadpanned in Allison’s (Ally Sheedy) voice.

“Frank, when are you going to take out the trash?” “Whenever.”

“Frank, when are you going to take out the ~~live~~ dead Christmas tree?” “Whenever.”

“Frank, when would you like to get busy?” “Whenev . . . wait!”

4. “Fear does not exist in this dojo!” “Yes, Sensei!”

Usage — A frequent (humorous) pep talk gem given before tests, games, and performances.

Frank to the girls before a swim meet: “Concentrate on your turns and swim hard into the wall. Fear does not exist in this dojo!” His ABSOLUTE dream is for the girls to one day respond, “Yes, Sensei!” IF this ever happens he will declare himself the winner of parenthood and exit the building.

5.“Lighten up, Francis”

Usage — What do you think it means?? Isn’t it obvious or are you daft or something?? Geez!!

Frank may or may not frequently use this, because Ellen may or may not frequently need to lighten up.

Erin and Steve

6. “There’s no crying in baseball.”

Usage — (1) Steve to the crew whenever they start sniveling or whining about something or, you know, “forget to use that thing three feet above their a$%.” (Direct quote that precedes this one in the movie) (2) Steve to Erin when she has left the ranch.

Five kids means that we have more than our share of whining. This is how we shut it down.

Steve is such a ridiculously spot-on mimic that when he channels Tom Hanks as he says this, you want to wipe your nose on your sleeve, pull your stuff together, and make the play (not the throw to home with a tw0-run lead, but you get my drift). Pronto.

7. “Let it go, Indiana.”

Usage — (1) Used to break a child out of an obsession (2) Used to stop Erin (or sometimes Steve, but let’s be fair, it’s usually Erin) in the middle of a rant.

Your family may not have fallen under the power of Minecraft yet, but it is the Dark Master of Timesuck around here. We have tried all sorts of systems to control the tech time, but it’s a painful weaning from this particular game EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. We use this phrase most often when trying to pry the keyboard from the kung-fu grip of a tween boy.

Of course, it’s equally at play trying to bring Erin down off a ledge or out of her tree.

Erin uses it most often to stop Steve from playing Civilization, the adult equivalent of Minecraft. (Note to readers: Do not buy this game for your husband for his birthday.)

8. “You’re killing me, Smalls.”

Usage — (1) Used almost exclusively on a kid who has proven either clueless, exasperating, or both (2) Also used as a verbal high five for a funny.

Our life provides endless opportunities to throw this one around. In fact, we like it so much we have given it a second life as a mark of admiration for some clever punny-ness.

Erin heard they started putting this saying on t-shirts. She would not turn down a gift like that. Just saying.

9. “I don’t know, Margo.”

Usage — (1) Used between Erin and Steve to answer a question that could be deemed snarkastic (2) Occasionally used to answer any question, because it’s just so darn funny.

Todd and Margo are the yuppie neighbors to the Griswolds. This phrase is appropriate any time someone is packing ‘tude or piling some edginess on a stack of sass. In fact, we just used this one today when discussing the basketball schedule for the 9 year old. Now, Erin is not saying who was bringing the Margo and who had to sling the Todd, but everyone is still standing and talking to each other so we are counting that as a victory.

You really do have to say it just like Todd though, so here’s the clip just in case you have been living in a bomb shelter and haven’t seen this Chevy Chase Christmas classic movie.

10. “Francisco. That’s fun to say.”

Usage — (1) bringing on a laugh in the middle of a tense moment (2) talking a teen off that hormonal ledge (3) Any time you want to inject some funny, like on the 1000 miles of car trips we took over Christmas break.

Oh, Elf, is an awesome movie for lots of reasons, not the least of which is that it brought this phrase into our life. Truly, this is the parental equivalent of the bomb squad for diffusing the landmines in our living room, our car, wherever.

It induces a laugh. Every. Single. Time.

Thank you once again to Stasha for hosting the fabulous Monday Listicles every week. We love the writers we meet there every week, so make this the week you actually click the link and check it out.

For as Yoda says, “Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.” See what we did there? We can’t help ourselves. Happy Monday from Ellen and Erin.

And an extra Happy Monday to Erin’s daughter who you know as Biddie. She turns 14 today. Here’s one of Erin’s favorite Happy Birthday movie clips just for her from Uncle Buck.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Biddie!

Tell us! Do YOU talk in movie Quotes?

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10 Anti-Resolutions for 2013

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The topic for Monday Listicles is 10 THINGS YOU HAVE NO INTENTION OF CHANGING IN 2013. This one came from the lovely guru herself , Stasha at The Good Life.

Erin: Our girl Stasha is definitely speaking our language on this one.

Ellen: We are in no way disrespecting resolutions. We both agree that they are noble. It’s just I’m not into making promises in the deep dark of winter that I know I’m going to depress myself by breaking. Resolutions are just so much pressure. I’m more of a September — back to school, shiny new shoes, fresh start — kind of girl.

Erin: Aww, you make me want to bring you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils. (“You’ve Got Mail”, anyone?)

Truth be told, I’m really more of a July—too busy hanging out by the pool with a cool drink to bother with some pesky resolutions–kind of girl. But I do like to at least go through the motions of recording goals, so we have a tradition for that.

Every New Year’s morning, I set the dining room table with butcher paper (or plain sheets of paper if I run out of butcher paper like I did this year!). There are six different headings and everybody who is around has to finish the statements in the heading (Sorry, SIL and BIL, but you stay, you play!). This little tradition always yields funny and sweet results. Check out these gems from this year.

But even with these fabulous resolutions to inspire you, here are . . .

10 Things That Will Not Change In 2013

On a Scale of Sappy to What-the-Fudge?

1. Savoring the Moments

Erin: Even though it seems completely inconceivable, I have a high schooler. I know I’m not just looking at this through mommy goggles, either. My lifelong friend Rob’s comment about our Christmas picture— “Holy crap, that’s Ace?”— just cements that it’s unbelievable. Ace will be going to college in two and a half years and I am soaking up the moments we are all together. I am basking in the times we can just be.

This may be uber-over-the-top-sappy, but this is my life right now and I am unapologetic in recording it all in my heart and head and blog to tuck away for those moments later when he will be off doing awesome things and we are just left missing him.

Ellen: I would be making fun of you right now but, *sob* I have a ninth grader. And I’ll miss Ace, too.

Erin: Okay. Somebody pass me a tissue. And a cocktail. I have to go sign him up for driver’s ed.

2. Alone Time With Our Husbands

Ellen: Not every household is made up of two parents, but if yours is, you have to work to keep that relationship strong.

Erin: And that means vanquishing the guilt over spending time away from your kids! It is more than okay to spend time on your relationship/marriage. Think of it as a gift to your kids. And your sanity.

Ellen: And here’s a little Sisterhood Secret for you: The more routine you make it, the easier it is for you to maintain and for your kids to accept.

Erin: Swap with friends . . .

Ellen: She means babysitting kids, not husbands.

Erin: Put it in the budget, tell family members to give you babysitting instead of gifts, spend a small fortune on camps. Do whatever it takes.

Ellen: A night in a hotel can really readjust your meter for not sweating the small stuff. If you know what I mean.

3. Writing Things Our Kids Can Read

Ellen: I am constantly preaching to my children about not offering up anything to the internet machine that they don’t want to see immortalized forever. And since we are more lead-by-example kinds of mommas, we try to keep it PG-13 around here, even up there in point #2. I keep a heavy lid on my robust swearing habit in real life, so why let the bombs fly here? Where it can be Googled.

Erin: We also try to be fair and kind and to not write anything that is going to be hurtful or offensive. But we’re not saints,and we’re not perfect.

Ellen: The one group we don’t honor are those poor souls who have lost their senses of humor.

Erin: But hey, it’s a hard knock life for those buttercups anyway, so what are you going to do?

Ellen: But maybe we should set the filter standards higher for the pictures we post.

Ellen and Erin: NAH!

Purty as princesses.

4. Our Blogging Cooperation – Bloggeration

Erin: We are not gonna lie to you. It takes some a very specific friendship to be able to blog together like we do. I swear I can handle Ellen, because her voice sounds an awful lot like my husband’s in my head.

Ellen: Alright! I have one thing that could change for 2013! Could you please stop saying that? Creepers.

Erin: You know what I mean. I need your “type” in my life—the type that brings me down to earth and keeps it real. You even share the same birthday. How’s that for creepers??

But the truth is that among the many other things we have learned from blogging together this year, we’ve also figured out when to walk away and when to give some slack.

Ellen: Interesting. You are truly one of the most forgiving and easy-going people I know . . . except when you’re not. Which leads us to our next point . .

5. Bunco

Erin: Dear sweet well-intentioned friends, please do not invite me to Bunco. Bring on Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, even Just Dance 4! I rock at real games. But this “game” makes me yearn for that dark beast of board games, Chutes and Ladders —the game that subjects adults to hours of mind-numbing climbing and sliding repetitive hell.

Oh, but Bunco is about socializing and hanging out and drinking lovely girl-y drinks, you say! You love all that, you say! Well, the little BUNCO dice are the evil overlords of fun and they seem hell-bent on interrupting my good time flow. They determine where you sit, who you hang with, and where you move. I will have just settled into my chair with my cocktail when I am sent packing because I didn’t roll 3s. Makes me tweak-y.

Ellen: And rant-y. Good grief. Dude, I just think you don’t like to be told what to do. You’re not comfortable unless you are the Grandmaster Game Master. What was that guy’s name in Saw? If anyone wants to invite me to a night out with friends, snacks, and wine, tweet me up.

Erin: Oh my word. Moving on . . .

6. Hobbit

Ellen: I know we just said we aim to not purposely offend anyone, but we are making an exception with The Hobbit. We are just not entertained by hairy barefooted fantastical little freaks. We are not going to see it.

Erin: Not in a theater, not in a plane.

Ellen: Not on Showtime, or Netflix, or even on a train.

Erin: Not out of Redbox or Xbox, because it would drive us insane.

Ellen: We’re just not going to view it, have we made ourselves plain?

Erin: We’re hoping our love for Dr. Seuss counteracts your offense springing from our hatred for hobbits.

Full disclosure: Erin’s whole clan saw it to mixed reviews. 3 out of 5 stars.

7. Fat Pants Free Zone

Ellen: This one is my rant, but Erin is whittling away so she is chucking fat pants away left and right. I, on the other hand, have one pair of jeans that fits me and a whole GAP store full of jeans that are just a little snug — if, by snug, I meant like a freakin’ tourniquet. But I am not buying any “fat pants.” I will lose the Fifteen (lbs) After Forty (years) and triumphantly wear my wardrobe again. This I pledge for I am Sparticus! Too dramatic?

Erin: Absolutely not. Just try not to burn Athens in your wake.

Don’t hate Erin because she looks like she’s wearing clown pants.

8. The War and Peace Trap

Erin: If the last one was all you, then this one is all me and has been for like 15 years. Every year, I always have the best intentions of reading Tolstoy’s War and Peace and every year I find about 52 books I would rather read more. Every year, I think roping my pals into doing it too means that I’ll actually follow through. And every year, a handful of lovely, sweet victims, er, I mean friends, add this tome to their list of “have-read”s while it remains solidly on my “to-do” list.

Ellen: How many times has this happened?

Erin: I’m out of digits.

Ellen: And let the record show I have never fallen for this trap.

Erin: But this is the year! It’s gonna happen.

Ellen: Not. Falling. For. That. One.

9. We are Fourth Decaders One Directioners

Erin: In fact, if anything, we’re kickin’ it up a notch.

Ellen: We are going to see One Direction in concert! That’s right! We are going to stand in the midst of throngs of hormonal teen and tween girls and sing our little hearts out making memories all the while.

Erin: <singing> That’s what makes us beautiful.

Ellen: And smart. We got huge Mom Points on this one. And it was the easiest Mom Points ever, because you know I love them.

The lads and Ellen had a brilliant Christmas.

10. Christmas Decorations

Ellen: As we have stated before, we are very traditional and sentimental about our Christmas decorations.

Erin: But let’s face it, we are also very pressed for time in December. So, we’re considering just leaving them up until next year. Save some hassle.

Ellen: Never mind we both have live trees.

Erin: Well, how about just the outside ones, you know, because mine were so spectacularly gorgeous.

Yes, we realized that there were shorts in the line. No, we didn’t fix it. Yes, you should be very grateful that we are not your neighbors.

Ellen: The kicker is you actually chose to plug that sadness in every. single. night. And your next door neighbor looked like the scene below. I think you have enough bulbs there to spell out “Ditto.”

Erin: Yeah, I’ll file that suggestion away for next year. Somewhere . . . where the Christmas lights don’t shine.

Source: google.com via Sisterhood on Pinterest

So, whether you decide to make a resolution this year or not, we both hope you have a great new year. You can definitely start out on the right foot by checking out Monday Listicles and exploring some of the great bloggers there. It’s easy. You can do it in your pajamas. So get over there already!!

— Ellen and Erin

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The Like Totally For Real 80s

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It was the worst of times. It was the best of times. It was the 80s.

Ellen: So what do you think of when you think 80s?

Erin: Besides BIG? Madonna clothes, lace gloves, legwarmers, big shoulder pads.

Ellen: You are 100% correct, buuuuuuuuuuuuut . . .

Erin: Seriously? You say I’m right, but then qualify it with a mile long but? I’m right. I lived through the 80s. I know. End of story.

Ellen: I think you’re looking through St. Elmo’s Fire colored glasses. I just feel like all of that stuff is the cute music video 80s. For example, my daughter had to make an 80s costume for a play she was in last year. Behold.

This is a little too adorable to be authentic.

Erin: She looks adorable — leg warmers, lace glove, jelly bracelets — everything I said. She even has a little Vans action thrown in.

Ellen: See, it’s that word “adorable” that’s getting me. Forget about the Benetton commercials and MTV. I’m talking about the REAL 80s — the 80s that walked down the halls of the middle schools and high schools. The 80s of which we BOTH have photographic evidence.

Erin: Well you’re going to have to gag on that spoon all by yourself because you know I still can’t scan pictures.

Ellen: Oh, if you are throwing down the fingerless lace glove gauntlet, then I am accepting the challenge because we owe it to the children to give an accurate history.

(Just to be clear – All Photographic ~~Embarrassment~~ Evidence is Ellen’s)

10 Righteous BIG Slices of the REAL 80s

1. Overview of an 80s Teenage Girl

That’s right, we had BFF before there was texting. Stick that on your skateboard and pump mongo. And speaking of not having texting, check out that extra long phone cord — necessary so you could roam free while talking to your BFFs. We’ll talk about the fashion later, but note that my room was About Last Night purple and green. And my love for Duran Duran was/is real, Folks. Today’s technology met yesterday’s fangirl when Duran Duran tweeted and Facebooked about my post. It was a dream come true that I didn’t even know was possible back in the day.

2. Real Righteous Everyday 80s Fashion

Loose mile long sleeves ending at your waistline is super flattering. We’re thinking of bringing it back.

Despite what the Disney Channel would have our kids believe, we did not walk around looking like we just jumped out of a Cyndi Lauper video . . . that was for special occasions. Mainly, we looked like we were drowning in our clothes. I had the best figure of my life and I was swallowed in Benetton and Esprit. Just look at my tiny friend above. We wore over-sized shirts, baggy pleated jeans, scrunched socks, huge bows in our hair, and over-sized blazers with linebacker shoulder pads. The only thing we tried to make small was the bottom of our jeans — those were folded, rolled and pegged. The rest of the pants were ballooning around us, but those leg openings were tight.

If you were serious, you put a safety pin in that cuff. Just to show it who was boss.

3. Totally Tubular Hair

This should probably not be its own category because it will be featured in EVERY picture, but I could not resist. Plus it gives a glimpse of the special occasion 80s. Check out those gloves! I never took them off for the entire dance. You know why? Because my hands were a blue stained Smurfy mess by the time I reached the dance. Wrapping your hands in synthetic satin makes them sweat. A lot.

That hair is big and that dress is something else — drop-waist, puffed sleeves, AND a big bow — but I’m just reminiscing about not having to wear Spanx. Which is a very good thing since it wasn’t invented and satin is not forgiving, People. — Ellen

Erin: You know, truly, that picture is not THAT bad.

Ellen: I’m easing them into it. Just wait.

4. Gnarly Accessories

Of note, this is a scan of an honest to goodness Polaroid picture — not some punk Pic Monkey frame. This post is dripping 80s. In a totally oozing way. — Ellen

It was really the accessories that made the outfits. Huge cross pendants (thanks Madonna), huge brooches, huge earrings — the 80s were B-I-G! Swatches, stacked rubber bracelets, fedoras, oh my! You could generally tell everything about a person from the buttons on their denim or Members Only jackets. I don’t think I can express enough that things were big and gaudy.

This picture was to show the buttons on my jacket. Unfortunately, most of them were on the right side, but you get the idea. I did promise the hair would get worse, so there’s that.

Erin: That hair just got real.

Ellen: Told you. Did they have straightening irons back then?

Erin: All evidence indicates no.

5. We Were All Valley Girls — Fer Shur

The 80s was all about teens adopting the ways of California. In particular we emulated Valley Girls — girls from the San Fernando Valley who spoke with atrocious grammar and diction, glorified shallowness and stupidity, and revered shopping as an art form. “Gag me with a spoon.” Our parents were so lucky. It really is beyond description. Let Moon Unit Zappa describe it to you in song. On Solid Gold no less.

6. When We Weren’t Valley Girls, We Were Skate Rats and Surfer Dudes

Check out my Jams. Just stop looking at my hair and glasses. I was a late bloomer. — Ellen

You would have thought we were all dividing our time between our surfboards and our skateboards — the Jams, the Vans, the lingo. Kate even reminded me I had a hunk of Sex Wax. I did not have a surfboard . . . or any other need for it. Now that we think about it, the 80s was like an elaborate, gaudy costume party. Except we were serious.

7. Where We Got Our Crazy Ideas

It can all be blamed on MTV born on August 1, 1981, at 12:01 a.m. At least that is our story and we’re sticking to it. See, there used to be a time when MTV had music videos . . . 24 hours a day. Our parents thought it would rot our minds. Little did they know what MTV would turn into in the 21st century. Give me a little Cyndi Lauper She Boppin’ over 16 and Pregnant any day. And yes, we know what Cyndi was getting at.

8. Well Maybe Movies Can Claim Part Of The Credit For Our Crazy Fads

It felt like movies started trends almost more than they reflected them. This was the decade where the “Coming of Age” movie ruled and John Hughes was king — The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and Pretty In Pink. Don’t forget the Brat Pack either — Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy. St. Elmo’s Fire showcased these powerhouses. And then there was The Karate Kid, Taps, Red Dawn, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Desperately Seeking Susan, Footloose, and Say Anything. We might be going out on a limb, but John Cusack was the 80s. But wait, so was Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Robert Downey Jr., Patrick Swayze, . . .

John Cusack in “Say Anything.” This would have lost so much of its punch with an iPod.

9. Totally Awesome 80s Music

We’ve already covered Ellen’s love for Duran Duran, but the 80s was pretty diverse. You had everything from pop to hair bands, from punk to techno, from acid rock to new wave. We had mixed tapes where Bon Jovi rubbed mullets with Twisted Sister while nestled next to the Dead Kennedys, The Rolling Stones, and U2. A Flock of Seagulls, The Thompson Twins, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and Blondie were also favorites. We can’t forget Rick Springfield and . . .

Ahhhhhh! We can’t list all of our favorites, so let’s talk about these mixed tapes. We could not just select songs for our playlists off of iTunes. We lived in a decade where you had to work for your music. You sat poised with a tape recorder next to the radio waiting for your jam to be played and hoping the DJ did not talk over the intro. If you were ambitious, you could go around to your friends’ houses to record their tapes and – gasp – vinyl records. The sound quality was scratchy, you could hear the recorder clicking on and off, and you didn’t really want the last five seconds of the songs anyway. If you loved static, you were in heaven.

Speaking of heaven, it was glorious when the Walkman came about and you could listen to your music on the go. The belt clip was INCLUDED. Maybe you should take notes Apple.

10. The Best Part Of The 80s

Forever friends. How grateful should our children be that we did not get forever stuck in the 80s?

Coming up on Our 25th High School Reunion

Our kids have a bubblegum dream impression of the 80s, but we lived the ugly and share it with you.

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10 Christmas Ornament Memories

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We could not resist the Monday Listicle topic for this week — ten ornaments and the stories behind them — suggested by Kelly Duran from Writing Down The Bones. Our trees might be rejected as centerfolds for Southern Living, but they take center stage in our hearts because they are chock full of memories. In fact, it was hard for us to each choose just five.

Erin

1. Caorach—That’s Gaelic for sheep if you were curious. When Steve and I were traveling through Ireland on our honeymoon, I was impressed by the beautiful countryside, the friendly people, and . . . the sheep. I bought a couple of sheep related mementos including this little fella. He has been part of our flock for 16 years now and I love seeing his simple unfinished wood wrapped in wool every Christmas. It always takes me back to that special time when we were just starting out.

2. Whatever, Martha! Oh, sisters are the absolute best, and I have been particularly blessed to have a great one. But in addition to being a long distance swimmer and full-time university professor, my sister is crafty. I did not get this gene, but it doesn’t usually smack me in the face until Christmas arrives and we receive my sister’s beautiful gifts handmade with love. They contrast nicely with my gifts which usually look like my five year old wrapped them. I love everything she has made us, but these were last year’s addition. She made these for everyone (and I have a big family!) customized with hair color, eye color, glasses, and colors of their favorite sports team. Aren’t they adorable?? Don’t you all want to hate her just a little bit?

3. Angelface — When I was a little girl, my dad went to a Christmas party and one of his friends gave him 2 angels to give to us on Christmas day. My sister’s had blond hair and hung side by side with my angel at the top of our tree under our star until I married Steve and took my angel with me. This humble little angel is probably one of my oldest possessions and I love seeing her on our tree every year and remembering all of her Christmases past.

4. Sisters Are Special—The Series— Remember what I said about sisters?? This is just one of a series of ornaments we gave each other. They are all pretty cute and extol the virtues of sisterhood, but this is the only photo one.

5. Family — Steve and I moved away from Maryland to mid-coast Maine a month after we were married. When we moved back home, we had two kids and I was 8 months pregnant with the 3rd. We moved into a small apartment right before Christmas, and I couldn’t get to any of our Christmas decorations. I shoved a small artificial tree that someone was throwing away into a Nordstrom’s box and bought a strand of lights (the tree was so small it only needed one). Then I took the box of extra photos (you know, the ones you didn’t use for albums or gifts before everything went digital) and started making ornaments. I showed you one of Ace as a baby here, but we still hang all of those crappy ornaments from our first Christmas in Maryland on our tree. It makes me happy to see how young we were and remember myself as a young mom determined to have a tree no matter what.

Ellen

6. Bermuda Moon Gate — My husband, Frank, and I got this on our honeymoon in, wait for it, Bermuda. Newlyweds who pass through them are said to have good luck. We were married nineteen years ago, so I guess it worked.

7. You Can Find A Gift Shop Anywhere — After I graduated from medical school, Frank and I went to Italy. Not to be too profoundly original, but newsflash, one of the most breathtaking sights was St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City. The views of Rome from the roof and the cupola were equally spectacular. Imagine our surprise when we turned from the panoramic vistas to find a gift shop on the roof (I hear they also have a coffee bar now, too). We purchased this mosaic cross and it has had a place of honor at the top of tree ever since.

8. Sharing Family History — My grandparents and their families were from Chincoteague Island, Virginia. While growing up, I spent every summer visiting down there.This ornament is from when we took my first born daughter there when she was one year old. She never got to meet my grandparents, but she did get to meet my Great-Aunt Ruth and enjoyed herself immensely on her first beach trip.

9. Talking Easter on Christmas — In 2007, we were lucky enough to go to the White House Easter Egg Roll. And yes, it was fabulous. Thank you Aunt Allaire for the tickets. There were children’s authors, the Easter Bunny, Hannah Montana, and the Jonas Brothers. It really was like a festive old timey country fair. Well, except for the Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers concerts that I mentioned before.

10. New York Whirlwind — This ornament commemorates the awesome two day tour of New York I took with my daughters in 2011. In just over 48 hours, we visited my sorority sister in Princeton, NJ, caught the train to Penn Station, rode a taxi to our swanky Times Square hotel – The Sanctuary, took the subway to the Staten Island Ferry (free!), rode the ferry round-trip to see the Statue of Liberty and the Manhattan skyline, lunched at Mars 2021, rode the Ferris wheel at Toys R Us, dropped a fortune at the M&M store, got swept up into The Transformers: Dark of the Moon premier, ate at the Shake Shack with Aunt Donna, got caught up in a Year of the Rabbit party in our hotel lobby, ate breakfast at a diner, went to the Top of the Rock, took a carriage ride through Central Park, sat five rows back at Wicked, dined at Ellen’s Stardust Diner, took the subway to Penn Station, and got our fannies home. I can DO tourist.

Bonus

Jellybean (12) wanted me to include her favorite ornament. It makes her happy year after year because it never loses its scent. And because she makes my heart happy, I’m including it. Plus maybe this will make her like the blog better. She’s not a huge fan.

From The Sisterhood to you, we wish you a Merry Christmas filled with love and happiness.

Ellen and Erin

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