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Keystone Ski Resort is like the Disney World of Colorado

I know those are big words, but I’m seriously not still suffering from altitude sickness. It was just so PLEASANT at Keystone Ski Resort for me, for my husband, and for our teenage daughters.

Top of Dercum Mountain, Keystone

Yes, it was exhilarating, awesome, and challenging, but I have never had a more pleasant skiing experience. My husband and/or I have vacationed in Vail, Beaver Creek, Jackson Hole, Killington, Smuggler’s Notch, and Snowshoe, WV. While we have enjoyed the skiing in all of those locales, at Keystone, the skiing was perfect and it just had a “happy place” feel to it that earned it my “Disney-like” accolades.

Keystone Ski Resort is Like the Disney World of Colorado

Keep in mind, this is just a girlfriend sharing her awesome vacation with you because we’re buds. This is NOT a sponsored post. I had to sell my left ovary just like everyone else to pay for lift tickets.

The “ease of it all” feel of this vacation really began with getting there. You fly into Denver which gives you a greater chance of finding a direct flight. It’s also a heck of a lot cheaper than flying into someplace like Aspen AND you avoid getting on puddle jumpers. I just do not like small planes. The resort is only about an hour from the airport which is much closer than Vail.

When we got to our condo, my real love for Keystone started to blossom. C’mon, there was a waterfall in the lobby of The Springs at River Run.

And that waterfall traveled under decking to the outside to flow down a waterslide into a heated pool. I KNOW!

Water going down that slide is from the waterfall inside.

We basically just loved our condo. You can see the exact one we rented through SummitCove.com here.

But let’s get to the nitty gritty: the skiing. Here is what set Keystone apart for me as a family resort.

1. Wagons

Something as simple as providing complimentary wagons to make it easier for you to haul your gear makes all of the difference, especially with kids. And while my teens can technically carry their own equipment, they do not do so without complaints. Loved not starting and ending each day with “whine.” Bonus: there is a fantastic wagon story at the end of this post.

2. Gondolas

The way they have the gondola and chair lift network set up, you don’t have to worry about getting “stranded” at the top of a mountain. This is an important reassurance for novice skiers who may lose their nerve after checking out a slope or for someone like me who is babying a bum knee.

Are you wondering why I even went skiing?

Anyway, the layout of Keystone is such that North Peak is behind the main Dercum Mountain and these two ski areas are connected by a gondola. I honestly would have never gone over to North Peak because of my knee issues if I thought my only way “home” was to ski back. And I was right to feel that way because after having a blast on North Peak I was suddenly done and I was so grateful to be able to take the network of gondolas all the way back to the condo. Saved me from the spectacle of taking a ride in a ski patrol sled.

And no, I did not ski The Outback. While I was pushing my knee, I decided not to push my luck that much.

3. The Top of Dercum Mountain is Grand Central Snow Fun

There is more than just skiing up there. In addition to the lodge where you can grab a bite, there is a whole hub of fun.

Bluebird sky kind of day in Keystone.

Learning Area: Often times it seems like the bunny slopes are to hell and gone away from the more thrilling terrain. If your group has any beginners, they are often bid sayonara by the black diamond daredevils until sunset. Not so much at Keystone because there is a learning area at the top of Dercum Mountain. Everyone can easily meet up periodically throughout the day.

In fact, the top of Dercum is the great starting point for a bunch of slopes making it wonderful even for my more experienced family since my knee made me miss out on the Terrain Park. It was so easy for us to go our separate ways for a run or two and then pair up again.

I only viewed the Terrain Park from the chairlift, but it is even more expansive than you can see here. Shaun White has logged some training hours here, so there’s that.

Snow Fort: This is where Keystone really starts to embrace it’s inner Disney. There is a huge castel-like snow fort built with slides, tunnels, and thrones. Even bigger kids like it. It’s just cool.

Tubing Park: Right behind the fort is the the best tubing park I have ever experienced. The runs are huge and fast. The personnel serenade you as they ask you if you want to be spun. And there is no “one rider at a time” nonsense here. Up to four tubes can link up to quadruple the thrill. We had a gorgeous day, but I love how the “magic carpet” lift is enclosed. It would have made a huge difference in keeping things fun if the wind had been kicking up.

Do you see the drop on that tubing hill??

4. River Run Village

Things can get pretty fancy at some of the ski villages out west, but I found Keystone to be perfect for families. This is not a fur coat and cowboy hat kind of place. This is where the locals come to knock out a couple of fabulous runs when they get off from work. Of course there are great steakhouses and pricey boutiques, but there are also pizza places and reasonably priced t-shirts. There are tons of fun extras around the village too, like musical instruments, huge Adirondack chairs for photo-ops, ice skating, and ice sculptures.

5. The People

I probably should have led off with this one because it was the Disney World-esque customer service and friendliness that really upped my enjoyment. From the gondola line employee leading us in song and handing out granola bars, to the girl who helped me find an Ace bandage for my blasted knee, I felt well taken care of. They are so smooth, I even got the warm fuzzies when one employee tried to kill me. Wait? What?

I was walking toward the foot bridge leading back to my condo, balancing my travel tray of Starbucks, when I saw a utility vehicle heading towards me from the opposite side. Remember those wagons I was raving about? They have to be rounded up and this guy had a loooong train of them snaking behind his vehicle. He seemed to be going pretty fast and I was in no hurry, so I stepped off the path right before the bridge to wait for him to pass.

Not one drop of Starbucks shed

Unfortunately neither he nor I realized there was a pretty significant dip-bump combo at the base of the bridge. He hit that flying and his train of fifteen wagons cracked up in the air and . . . that’s when everything went into slow motion. As they came crashing to Earth, I barely missed being crushed by leaping over a snow bank.

His reaction must be read in a surfer dude voice: “Whoa, that was intense. You ok?” Maybe I was surfing the wave of serenity from all of the previous great, relaxed service or maybe it was because I did not spill one drop of my $25 coffee order, but I just laughed it off. That counts as magical, right? For me it does.

One more thing. Honorable mention needs to go to the grocery delivery service: Peak Provisions. While not part of Keystone, they were recommended and I see why. Their gourmet prepared rib meal was delicious and they rolled with my delivery time change like it was no inconvenience at all. And they deliver alcohol. Enough said.

6. Night Skiing

There is not a lot of night skiing in Colorado, but Keystone has it. While I don’t like to ski under the lights, I do like the chairlifts staying open past 4pm. Somehow that last 5pm run was the best.

And then on some nights, after the night skiing was done, there were fireworks! Kind of sounds like Disney World, right?So just in case I wasn’t clear, I highly recommend Keystone even though my knee wishes we had gone to Key West.

My knee should stop complaining. it has a date with an orthopedic surgeon and a arthroscope.

My knee should stop complaining. It has a date with an orthopedic surgeon and an arthroscope here soon.

-Ellen

Planning a ski trip? Tips for where you can have a great family experience.

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Kids Need the Word “No”

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“NO.”

A short word that stops you in your tracks. It’s the pinnacle of negativity, the Commander in Chief of control, and the debutante of Debbie Downers.

Ellen: That is all true, but it seems really one-sided. I think “No” is just misunderstood, like Brussels sprouts. They’re both not bad, they just can suffer from awful presentation.

Erin: Okay Dr. Phil, I feel compelled to kick your cruciferous analogy off the couch because “No” isn’t some limp vegetable. It’s your trusty weapon in the toughest job you’ll ever love: Parenting. It’s your big guns for raising kids to be successful and happy, but you have to use it wisely.

Ellen: And it’s not just for toddlers, although for the love of Cheerios, you better start setting the boundaries in those tender years. It is so crucial because you are actually leveling your battlefield for when things get real: The Teen Years.

Erin: Consistency is your friend.

Ellen: That all became clear to me when Coco threw her TEEN tantrum. I thought her toddler tantrums were nuclear, but I should have waited before shipping that hazmat suit off to Goodwill. Coco had banged up against a boundary and was missing a prime social occassion because of it. She thought that if she just backtracked and righted her wrongs, she could sidestep the grounding and proceed to partying.

Erin: She really should have known better. She had lived with you for thirteen years.

Ellen: When she realized her penance was not going to shorten her term, her fury was like the Polar Vortex and El Niño had a baby and that baby was every volcano on earth erupting at once.

Erin: You’ve been watching a lot of Weather Channel again, haven’t you?

Ellen: True, but I swear I was being pulled through one of those swirling time travel tunnels to the day my abundantly pregnant self had to abandon my grocery cart, squat like a sumo wrestler to grab 2 year old Coco, and drag her out of the store by her heel. My ginormous self could not get a grip on her flailing body any other way.

Erin: At least you had plenty of strangers judging you to get you through the moment.

Ellen: The awful moment that lasted forever. If only I had a crystal ball to see that it was worth it. I was mortified, but I set the precedent that my “No” was firm. So even in her teenage rage, there was a little squeak in her hippocampus telling her, “Your parents are NOT going to back down.” She may have forgotten that ancient push-pop battle, but she knew her mom was not a pushover.

Erin: Giving into a toddler can make a moment easier, but it can set you up for a decade of hurt because the stakes only get higher and the issues only get weightier.

Ellen: However a huge part of being able to stick to your guns is picking your battles wisely. You can’t waste all of your ammunition during a skirmish, because you won’t have any left for the real war.

Erin: You have to stay focused on the real mission: Raising human beings who can function and play with others safely in society. We know it’s easier said than done to stay focused.

Ellen: You? Have issues with being focused? What?

Erin: In MY tale of woe from the front lines, I was lobbing grenades when I should have been using my energy to whittle down my laundry pile. I dug in my heels over Bratz dolls, also known in my mind as Fun-Sized Streetwalkers . There was no way my girl was going to be playing with those totems to anti-feminism. Line drawn.

Ellen: You should have just given Bratz dolls a heaping dose of the cold shoulder.

Is this tart worth a battle line?

Erin: When I said, “You will never play with Bratz dolls,” my seven year old’s brain translated my Parentese into . . .

Ellen: “This is what I want to fight about with you for the next four years.”

Erin: That “No” catapulted them to the status of forbidden fruit. And the Battle Royale began.

Ellen: A battle you could not control. Because birthday parties.

Erin: And Biddie got one on her 7th birthday. If I had just ignored them like the Sisterhood told me to, Biddie would have played with the thing for about five minutes before losing interest, and I could have quietly been that streetwalker’s last escort . . . to the garbage can.

Ellen: What was really needed was a discussion.

Erin: I should have just used them as an opportunity to share my values with my daughter. In this case, my “No” didn’t teach her anything.

Ellen: We all can use some fine-tuning of our parenting perspectives from time to time. Here are some thoughts on when and how to lay down the “No.”

Boundary Basics

Banish the arbitrary.

“No” is not about stifling kids, but setting them free. Rules are to keep our kids safe and teach them values that will help them lead successful, happy lives. Arbitrary rules like “You will not wear eyeliner until you are 13” will bite you in the butt.

Keep it powerful.

We shouldn’t make rules we won’t enforce. We need to be ready to get our tired butts off the couch to redirect a behavior. Even after we’ve said “No” for the eleventieth time.

Remember flexibility.

If our children present good arguments for why a rule is not reasonable, we are willing to listen and ready to talk. We make mistakes. Fessing up and being open to other paths creates space for everyone to win.

Put safety first.

The rules aren’t more important than our kids. Covering up mistakes is dangerous for everyone. We want our kids to know that they can come to us for help at any time. Two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s a maxim for a reason.

Practice consistency.

Kids need to push against boundaries, but we need to consistently enforce them. A sense of safety and security empowers kids to take appropriate and desirable risks in areas such as academics and sports. Kids feel unsettled and insecure when they think they are in the driver’s seat.

Erin: Life is hard in the trenches–wet, stinky, and monotonous. We get it! Who do you think is beside you in that foxhole? Can’t you smell us? But if the “No” is worthy, you just can’t give in because you’re tired or they flash you those baby blues.

Ellen: Boys, girls, toddlers, tweens, teens—they are all just looking for gaps in the fence line EVERY DAY. So help yourself by keeping your trusty “No” meaningful.

Erin: And peace will reign in your mini-kingdom.

Ellen: Ha! Until the next skirmish.

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Why Not Letting Your Kids Do Chores Hurts Society and Me

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Ar%%%^GHKlsmdk@$&$@jhy^bleeeeeeerrrrrrggh.

That’s what having a stroke looks like in print.

Okay, that was melodramatic, but my eye did twitch when I read Why I Don’t Want My Kids Doing Chores — Even If They’re Age-Appropriate.

The author recounts a tale of when her 5 year old, on her own initiative, swept up the kitchen floor and then asked the author to get the dustpan for her because it was out of reach. The author’s response?

I sighed loudly. “I’ll just do it,” I said as I swept up the pile of dried peas and other assorted remnants from dinners past.

She then goes on to say how dejected her daughter looked, but she she just can’t stand it when her child “cleans” because it makes a bigger mess. She is also tired of everything being a lesson.

So this mother’s compulsion with perfection and her exhaustion from parenting notwithstanding, there is a very good reason why I want everyone to teach their kids to do chores.

Because if you don’t, society has to and I’m a member of society.

Let’s go over the first step to creating needy cretins. Little kids love to help, but they don’t do it well–neuromuscular development and all that. By shutting them down when they try to help, you are sending the message loud and clear that it is only worth trying if you can achieve perfection. Well, that’s a real “take the initiative” killer.

Here’s a little spoiler alert from someone who has teens: Their skills get better, but their attitudes get worse. May Mr. Clean be there to pick up the pieces if you crush their faith in their abilities when they are young. You’re not going to get THAT teen in motion without a stick of dynamite and a crowbar.

And this goes beyond cleaning because I don’t care if you have a 6 year old or a 16 year old, that clean floor isn’t going to last past the next snack. What does last is the impression you have given your child that they are not competent, they shouldn’t even try, and there is always someone much better to do it for them.

Those dejected preschoolers turn into lumps of young adulthood who can’t wash their own clothes, pay their electric bills on time, or respond to deadlines. And guess what? They don’t want to because someone has always stepped in to do it for them.

I have been “teaching” my girls to clean the bathroom for years. Fifteen years later, my daughter is still in denial that the toilet is part of the bathroom. But my response is not to sigh and grab the scrub brush. Instead I tell her, “How about practicing being your best self and do a little better?” Parenting lessons never stop, even when it’s just a toilet.

I’m making my best efforts to raise human beings who won’t ruin your day with their crushed spirits and incompetence. Society would be a much more pleasant place if we all did likewise.

-Ellen

You might also be interested in Kids Need the Word “No” and THIS is Why We Share Parenting Advice.

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10 Great Things to Remember About 2013

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With the dawning of 2014, we realize once again just how quickly time flies when you are riding the jet plane of fun known as parenthood. Looking in the rear view mirror, we are gratified that much of it was more than good, it was great. But lest we forget, we are recording for Auld Lang Syne:

1. We Partied Like Rock Stars

Well, that might be overstating it a bit, but we did have a darn good time every time we got together. Whether we were climbing mountains, kayaking down rivers, or squiring our girls to the theater, we really did know how to get our fun on. And we can throw a party like nobody’s business. But, we just miiiiiight be over baby showers at this point. Don’t hold it against us.

Taste Testers

But it wasn’t all fun and games. . .

2. We Gained Some Perspective

Blogging really does encourage us to slow down and appreciate our kids, ourselves, and our friends. Whether we were learning from the mouths of babes after a neighborhood fire, watching teens helping a friend with autism, or realizing that this whole Mom gig works much better when you rustle up a posse, we expanded our points of view. This helped us greatly come to grips with some of the thornier aspects of our lives.

3. We Called a Truce

We have a love/hate relationship with kids’ sports. We love the exercise and discipline, but we kinda hate the driving and the sideline politics. A fresh outlook gave us just the attitude adjustment needed to bury the hatchet with organized sports after some small travel team fiascoes. We were able to focus on all the positive things sports bring into our lives.

That's right, baby! A healthy diet of soccer's gonna make you a star!

Penalty! Illegal use of hands . . . and gums.

4. We Were Published!

We were so excited to be a part of the anthology, You Have Lipstick on Your Teeth. We got the thrill of seeing our names in print–in a for real book–and scored the cyber honor of our own Amazon authors’ pages. Here is Ellen’s and here is Erin’s. But what really made our hearts happy was meeting many of our co-authors and even going to our very first book signing! And then there was a second book signing! With cupcakes.

Want to know about the penguin? Come to a book signing.

Beware the penguin. Respect The Sisterhood.

5. We Were a BlogHer Humor Voice of the Year!

We were beyond stoked when were chosen as a BlogHer Humor Voice of the Year for The Sensible Sisterhood Summer Camp. We just felt acknowledged. We even made a video so everyone could recognize us. (Good thing we had name tags.)

Imagine our level of metaphorical apoplexy when we ended up within teacup toasting distance with the Queen . . . Queen Latifah, that is. Our takeaway from the conference? Bloggers need to stop giving the blog juice away for free.

6. We skirmished in the Mommy Wars–Sort of

Judging women’s adequate appreciation of motherhood is a plague upon the internet. But instead of choosing sides, we picked humor because, well, to quote our own piece: “Kids can be narcissistic Napoleonic assholes.” We might not have been as playful when Ellen took a writer and mother to task for “pinkwashing” Harry Potter. Let’s all just be sensible, m’kay?

7. We Read A Ton!

Almost nothing brings us as much joy as a good book. Our families, Cheez-its, and Sour Patch Kids are pretty great too, but books, well, we girls have no words. Who are we kidding? We’re nothing if not verbose and here are all of the book lists we made to prove it:

5 Books We are Thankful For

5 Books For the Carpool Line

Better Books for the Botttom of Your Beach Bag

Mo’ Better Books for the Bottom of Your Beach Bag

10 Books for Your Teens and Tweens Summer Reading List

More Summer Books for your Tweens

Books by Our Blogger Friends

10 Books for Your Summer Reading List

8. We Discovered Blogging is Better by the Pool

This was the year Ellen’s family put in a pool. They saved and they planned ahead and it should have been been completed by the beginning of May. Should have been. Mother Nature didn’t understand that we wanted our water fun with a side of sun, NOT in the form of endless rain. (Are you now singing Purple Rain in your head? No? You are now.)

Track the progress from us trying to pass off the excavation as a “fun summer camp activity” to the “Ghetto Chic Stage” it was forever stuck in, to the big reveal. It even served as our blogging office. Bring a cooler full of drinks and food and Ellen might even unlock the gate for you.

9. We Sent Up a Flare For the Teen Years

By February, we will have five teenagers between the two of us. Before you start passing around a collection plate to pay for our Sour Patch Kids and chocolate therapy, listen to this: it’s not so bad on this side of the border. Sure, teens can remind you an awful lot of their tyrant two year old selves (it’s amazing how much they are alike). But they can also be sweet and funny and generous when they let their true spirits seep out from under the cloud of Axe and angst they tote around. And yes, the teen years can be scary, but we believe firmly that duct tape, kisses, and prayers really do help.

10. We Got By With a Little Help From Our Friends

We had fantastic fun imagining how great our lives would be if we could just rent a Sister Wife. Actually that is not entirely true because we know the joys of Sisterly help. Don’t go signing us up for a reality show (unless of course, you have actual connections because we have some ideas for you). We’re talking about the all mom/all kid Big Love Camping Trip we take every year with our three other friends. No really, it’s fun.

Our Sisterhood is what it’s all about.

We also doled out some helpful advice. We don’t do this from a pedestal of judgment, but rather from the trenches in the spirit of “We Step in the Doo So You Don’t Have To.” We gave helicopter parents, hand-wringing parents of adolescents , and perfect toddler parents a nudge to the ribs because we believe we’re all in this parenting thing together and we all can learn and lean on one another.

But one of our greatest joys was meeting the friends inside of our computer. Lines were blurred and blogging friends became real life friends. True friends, no matter where they live, make life more rich and joyous.

Here’s to another great year full of friendship, love, and good enough parenting!

(Ellen promises not to toast you with this monstrosity.)

Terrifying Ghost of New Year’s Eve Past

-Ellen and Erin

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Feeling Holiday Stress? #TalkEarly and The Sisterhood are Here to the Rescue!

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On Dasher and Dancer, it’s party time again!

Holiday cookie swap? We’re firing up the ol’ oven and rattling our cookie sheets.

Seasonal Open House? We’ve got a wheel of brie and some phyllo dough at the ready.

Ice Skating/Hot Cocoa/Gingerbread House-Making Extravaganza. Sharpen our skates, break out the marshmallows, and hit up the ATM for extra money for the dentist.

Elf on the Shelf Holiday Hoedown? Yikes! PASS!

Twitter party? We’ve got an open social media management tool and we’re not afraid to use it.

Sisterhood say what?

Twitter parties may not be your usual holiday fare, but this one hosted by The Century Council and The Motherhood was as welcomed as a peppermint stick in your mocha latte. You can check out some of the takeaways and impressions in the graphic below.

By far the most important takeaway was the realization that for EVERYONE the holidays are packed with love and memorable moments but also stress. And plenty of it. All of that merry-making and memory-crafting means less time doing other things that frankly don’t stop needing to be done just because it’s December. Sock Bag O’ Shame, we’re looking at you!

It’s a point of fact–the more stressed you are, the less efficient you’ll be. And less efficient doesn’t always look like a gas guzzling car, it looks like a hot mess with a little too many miles of road under her eyes, if you know what we mean. It’s most definitely NOT the look you want to be sporting at the office Christmas party–doesn’t really go well with your blow-out and Tory Burches.

None of the good stuff, most importantly your family creating memories with a loving, sane mother, will get done until you find your holiday zen. To which we have a great and sensible solution—a time diary. We all think we have no time. Here’s one way to find your stolen hour. You can even use it to learn to knit. Just stick to scarves and sweaters, PLEASE.

Think of the amount of time you spend on Pinterest or on the phone with someone you don’t even like or even matching socks. We guarantee, if you write down your day hour by hour, you will rediscover a little time for you. Time that you can spend at the gym, the mall, Starbucks, or hunkered down with a good book—whatever YOU want as long as it re-energizes you and keeps you steaming ahead through the season.

We’re wondering why it takes them over an hour to figure out tha heels were a bad idea. We usually realize it in the shoe store.

So Christmas is coming early to you all this year, because to demonstrate our great time diary idea, we thought we would give you. . .

A Day in the Life of Erin

6:00 am: Rise and SHINE!

Ellen: Oh, sweet Cheez-its! Do not start this off all peppy, Pollyanna.

Erin: It’s only peppy for about 5 minutes and then I have to get 5 kids to school. I could be in the army for all I get done before 8am.

6:05 am: Wake teen #1

6:10 am: Wake teen #2

6:15 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom

6:20 am: Sign permission slip/check/birthright over to teens who forgot to show me the slip the night/week/month before

6:30 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom/Say good morning to Boy #3 and Boy #4 who rise and shine like their Momma

6:40 am: Wake tween who hates mornings

6:45 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom

6:50 am: Feed teens/ Remind them to make their lunches/Wake tween who hates mornings . . . again/Put Boy #4 in timeout for bodyslamming the cat

7:00 am: Mediate teen argument over bathroom/ Wake tween who hates mornings . . . Again/ Take Boy #4 out of timeout because I forgot about him

7:10 am: Wave goodbye to teens/ Wake tween who hates mornings . . . AGAIN/ tell Boy #3 and #4 to get dressed

7:20 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . (Help me)/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed

7:30 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . (HELP ME)/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed

7:40 am: Wake tween who hates mornings . . . WTH?/ tell Boy #4 to get dressed/ Give Boy #3 Cookies for Breakfast and tell him he’s my favorite because he is dressed, ready, AND has made lunches for his slacker brothers

7:45 am: Forcibly remove tween from bed/ Help Boy #4 get dressed

7:45 am-8:00 am: It’s a blur

8:05 am: Carpool to school

8:20 am: Home again drooling into my Diet Coke and Frosted Mini-Wheats

Ellen: I need a cookie for surviving reading that.

Erin: I’m dripping in sweat. And then it begins. . .

9:00 am: Phone call #1 from hubby: Can you pick up the dry cleaning? Shop for the office party?

9:15 am: Phone call #2 from long lost high school classmate: We haven’t talked in 15 years, but can you find the address of that guy who used to be my best friend?

9:30 am: Phone call #3 from school: Can you come in an hour early TODAY? We changed the day for mass.

9:45 am: Phone call #4 from friend: I’m starting a new business and want to go over the entire plan with you right now . . .

10:00 am: Phone call #5 from another friend: OMGeeeee, can you believe this? . . .

10:30 am: Shower

10:32 am: Ellen calls

Erin: You ALWAYS call during my shower. No matter what time I take it. I’m pretty sure I lose minutes of my life EVERY day looking for the hidden cameras.

Ellen: Melodramatic much? But you are missing the forest for the trees. WHAT do I tell you every time you get out of the shower to answer the phone?

Erin: That just because the phone rings, doesn’t mean I have to pick it up?

Ellen: You do listen to me! Just because someone invites you down a rabbit hole does not mean you have to tumble down it. If you want that hour, but really, if you NEED that hour, don’t let any summoning ringtone draw you away from it.

Erin: Noted. But pot, this kettle is calling you black.

Ellen: I know. Mine is even worse because it’s a silent Siren song: social media. I solemnly vow to put my money where my mouth is and record my time down the Facebook/Twitter/Pinterest/Instagram rabbit hole. I’ll probably find enough time to go to Starbucks, practice yoga, AND knit you a scarf.

Now go find your own hour and tell us what you’re going to do with it!

This post is part of our paid partnership with The Century Council’s #TalkEarly to your kids about alcohol campaign, but all opinions and time diaries are our own. We want you to find healthy ways to manage your stress because sighing, “It’s been a hard day, Mommy needs her wine,” could send the wrong message to your kids. Alcohol can be part of responsible celebrations, but it shouldn’t be the answer to stress.

-Ellen and Erin

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Finding the Funny While Recovering From Black Friday

Fabulous Gifts For Teen Girls

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We’re not much for the Black Friday hoopla, but we can get down with Cyber Monday. How can you beat shopping in your pajamas or while you’re at work–on break of course <ahem>. So we’re making lists and checking them twice and hoping we can get some steals and deals for our teen girls. Even if these gifts don’t go on sale, there is a price range for everyone. All 16 gifts have been Daughters of the Sisterhood approved, so behold . . .

Our Sweet Sixteen Gift Guide

Conair 1875 Watt Full Size 4-in-1 Hair Dryer

This is the best dryer EVER. Seriously. Erin almost stole it from Ellen while they were on vacation together. Good thing Ellen’s daughter Coco (15) does not let it out of her sight. It dries thick hair fast–like Ellen’s thick main of hair in under 20 minutes–and the smoothing attachment is a miracle. No more hand numbing contortions with a brush AND a dryer. The results are so good, it minimizes your flat iron time if it doesn’t eliminate it altogether. Best part? It’s way under $25!

Sephora Makeup Academy Palette

This might not be a steal, but it will get you squeals of delight and isn’t that what gift giving is all about? Plus, if you need that special shadow for that one special outfit, it’ll be as close as a trip down the hall.

Divergent Series Complete Box Set

If your teen hasn’t discovered this series yet, get this set in your shopping cart right now! Set in a futuristic dystopia where society is divided into five factions that each represent a different virtue, teenagers have to decide if they want to stay in their faction or switch to another – for the rest of their lives. According to Ellen’s girls, this series is a real page turner. The movie for the first book came out in March of 2014. We are firm believers in reading the book before the movie. Firm. Believers. So hurry up and get into this series before the rest of the movies drop.

And if you like Divergent, The Maze Runner is another great option . . .

The Maze Runner (Book 1)
The Maze Runner DVD or Blu-ray
The Maze Runner Dylan O’Brien Poster

Fans of dystopian literature will love The Maze Runner. (Confession: Ellen enjoyed the series immensely, too.) Please, please, please start with the book before moving onto the DVD. While the movie is exciting and pretty great, the book is full of rich detail that could not be crammed into the film. But speaking of details, the main character played by Dylan O’Brien is pretty easy on the eyes. This poster is topping Ellen’s daughter’s wish lists since they were fans before The Maze Runner even came out because of his role on MTV’s Teen Wolf.

Universal 3 in 1 Camera Lens Kit for Smart phones (including iPhone, Samsung Galaxy, HTC, Motorola and More), Tablets, iPad, and Laptops
We know that is a lot of words for a link, but to simplify–IT IS PURE AWESOME. If your teen is lucky enough to have a smartphone, then you know it’s a prized possession. Be a hero by making it even better with lenses that zoom, take wide angles, and produce cool fish eye effects. And it’s under $20! Best part? You might even be able to surprise her because she doesn’t even know she wants it.

SodaStream Fountain Jet Home Soda Maker Starter Kit

We’re not sure if the SodaStream is practical, but it sure is fun and that’s what gift giving is all about in our families. And Ellen’s family can attest that it’s also tasty. Ellen is not a big soda drinker, but even she is a fan of the mywater flavor essence (althooooooough, the root beer is pretty good). One great convenience is that the SodaStream doesn’t need any batteries or electricity to operate. It’s powered solely by the compressed gas carbonator that comes in the starter kit. Pretty cool.

Would You Rather? Board Game – Classic Version
We are huge fans of board games here at The Sisterhood. We play them at family gatherings, on random cold Saturday nights, and even on New Year’s Eve. This game is a favorite of all ages on those occasions, but it made the teen gift list because it is also a big hit at slumber parties. Maybe if you pull out this game at the beginning of the evening, you can avoid your own sleepover disasters. We’re rooting for you!

Clue
When we have a little more time, and some quiet, Clue is always a favorite. The intrigue gets us every time.

And if you have A LOT of time . . .

Risk Game
Because who doesn’t want to rule the world?

Mini Donuts Cookbook
Sunbeam Mini Donut Maker

Ellen’s family has such a fun time with this gadget.You can make a huge batch in no time because the donuts bake so quickly. The cookbook is really worthwhile, too. Ellen’s daughter recommends the Red Velvet recipe on page 49 (and so do Ellen’s hips as a matter of fact). One other tip: wooden chopsticks are great for lifting the donuts out.

Innergie PocketCell – Portable Battery Pack and Charger with USB Magic Cable Trio
This is the gift of power for your teen and the gift of peace of mind for you. Never fear a dead phone again–works for a variety of phones with the same Magic Cable (it has different adapters that you can flip around). Ellen can attest the battery pack holds it charge for quite a while just waiting to rescue you.

Soft Chevron Sheer Infinity Scarf
Infinity scarves are hot and this one is sizzling with its chevron print. It comes in a multitude of colors so you can give them to all of the teens in your life without them complaining about being “matchies.”

Fuzzy Winter Socks – Set 3
Girls love fuzzy socks. The end.

Remington Pearl Digital Ceramic Tapered Curling Wand
If your girl has long hair, this is THE curling iron that gives those trendy soft spiral curls. And this one won’t break the bank. Don’t be frightened off by the lack of clip: think no weird crimps at the bottoms of your curls. THAT is so 1988. But don’t fear third degree burns either because this one comes with a protective glove to protect your girl’s fingers.

The North Face Women’s Half Dome Hoodie

Teen girls love The North Face like they are embarking on a daily trek to Mount Everest instead of just traipsing into Chemistry class. This hoodie is one of the more economical ways to gift it. When you click and your size selection you will see that most of them are Prime eligible.

Sterling Silver Rhodium Plated Anchor Bracelet
Anchors are “in,” but this bracelet is sweet enough to survive the trend. It’s not too pricey either, so cry, “Anchors away!” and add it to your cart, Matey! (Please tell us you read that last part in a pirate voice. Please.)

One Direction 2015 Calendar
One Direction Duct Tape
One Direction is still going strong and since you can’t invite the lads over for dinner at least they can be with you all year long with this calendar. And in case you didn’t know, duct tape is B-I-G, so One Direction duct tape? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay and one more for good measure . . .

Crochet Lace Trim & Buttons Knit Boot Socks Black
Cold weather is all about the boots and adorable socks peeking up above them is the trendy way to go. Their feet will be extra warm in these. Now if we could only convince them wearing coats was a “thing.”

And just one more . . .

Fitbit Flex Wireless Activity + Sleep Wristband
Got an athlete who also likes tech? This helpful little tool tracks steps, distance, calories burned and active minutes. It also monitors quantity and quality of sleep and might just convince your teen it is time to get off of Netflix and get some more shut-eye.

Well, that last one was a little pricey and this one is super cool, so one more . . .

Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Instant Film Camera
Shake it like a Polaroid picture! We know, this camera is by Fuji, but it gets better reviews than the instant photo camera by Polaroid, and that is what is important, all super fun retro hip hop songs aside. Your girl will love the novelty of seeing a photo print out instantly and you will love the nostalgia. The credit card sized prints are vintage-y and kitschy enough to appeal to anyone’s inner hipster.

Watches Made From Wood

Need some gift suggestions for the teen boys in your life? We have those right here!

Need even more ideas? Check out this great super-size guide!

Holiday gift guide for teens and tweens | Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Hope these lists give you some help, but we aren’t done. If you’re not an Amazon kind of person, Ellen has one more suggestion. How about adopting a kitten? One size fits all. (How fast are you scrolling back to the top now?)

There is more to teens than shopping. Read our other parenting articles about teens here.

-Ellen and Erin

This post contains affiliate links. Except for the kitten. That is Pebbles and Ellen is keeping her. We’re sure you can find your own kitten.

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Thanksgiving Tribute to Teens. Seriously.

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Yeah, I said it. And I’m saying it with true sincerity. I am thankful for being the mother of teen daughters. Well, technically I have one teen and one tween, but my baby is about to turn thirteen and that is way close enough. Excuse me while I sob into her baby blanket.

But I don’t have the luxury of sobbing for too long. See, I’m hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the first time in about a decade. My memory is a little foggy but I’m pretty sure the first step to preparing for dinner is to completely switch the furniture between your living room and dining room and give then deep cleanings like they haven’t seen in five years.

No? THAT explains why I’m going insane, but just so you don’t lose faith in me, I did stop myself from going to Home Depot to get a gallon of paint. Okay, I had to turn the car around, but I’m NOT painting and that is the important thing.

But I firmly maintain it’s not delusion spurring me to sing praises to that often maligned teen demographic. I still feel like some of you are skeptical, but you’ll be true believers by the end of this post.

Tens Reasons I’m Thankful to Have Adolescents

1. They completely cleaned the basement rec room and ALL of the bathrooms . . . even under the toilet seats. I know.

2. They schlepped in all of the groceries for our feast, although they were mysteriously unavailable for the actual shopping. Apparently, I’m not raising dummies.

3. They have scrubbed and peeled a mountain of potatoes with protests so faint I could barely hear them through my earbuds.

4. Coco (15) is making the pumpkin pies. And not the fake “she ‘s baking” nonsense you do with wee tikes that takes twice as long and is twice as messy. She even cleans up. I KNOW.

5. They are doing laundry even as I hide in the closet writing this post.

And lest you think I just like having teens for the free labor . . .

6. They provide my cover story for

my One Direction infatuation
my intense interest in all things Hunger Games
my awkward love of Just Dance
our getting VIP tickets to see the Cake Boss
my viewing of TLC bridal shows like there’s going to be a test

7. I have tons of extra accessories and shoes to choose from now.

But most importantly . . .

8. They make me laugh. I appreciate their wit, their charm, and their comedic timing.

9. We can have for real discussions about books, movies, travel, music . . . and One Direction. Did I mention that before?

10. They are my very favorite people in the world and not just because I made them. They are beautiful inside and out. They make every experience more enjoyable because they are interesting people. I mean c’mon, look at Jellybean’s Medusa Turkey.

So goes my tribute to adolescents. Be sure to throw it in my face when I have my next teen induced breakdown. You’ll probably have to wait a whole 15 minutes before that happens.

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving Tribute to Teens. Seriously.

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Helicopter Parents: How to Know if You Are Swooping

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So it’s been a busy week in our lives. We both had kids finishing up high school fall sports and the first academic terms were ending (or getting close to the end). In both households, this proved fertile ground for learning lessons. There may have been an epiphany at Erin’s house that, wow, that zero really DOES bring your grade down. And at Ellen’s house, there may have been a moment to display some grace. But the biggest lessons learned this week weren’t for our kids but for a fellow mom we know.

After a week of torturous tween drama, Big Momma hand-wringing, and tears all around a sticky situation, this mom came clean, “I think I may be a helicopter parent.”

Erin- To which we say, knowing is half the battle (all credit to GI Joe).

Ellen- And get in line, Sister, you’ve got company.

Erin- No one wants to think they are THAT parent, but hovering is not just limited to hiding in the bushes outside of your darling’s classroom.

Ellen – So assuming that most parents don’t even realize they are swooping, let’s shine a spotlight on . . .

The Stealth Helicopter Parent

FLIGHT PATTERN 1

The Perception:

I don’t hover. My middle schooler is allowed to pick out her own clothes and even choose what goes into her lunch.

The Reality:

You are allowing your child to make choices, but are you letting your child make decisions to solve problems?

The Example:

Ellen – I chaperoned for my daughter’s sixth grade overnight environmental camp. My group of girls was lucky enough to have a fabulous educator who not only taught the girls about the Chesapeake Bay, but showed them they had the power to figure things out. On their own.

Right after introductions, she asked the girls to count off. There were about eighteen of them, and they all just shouted out random numbers in unison.

The other chaperones around me twitched and started to jump in. But the educator was prepared for this, because she just held up her hands and firmly declared, “They can do this.”

Before succeeding, they made two more failed attempts, prompting a mother next to me to mutter, “This is ridiculous.”

I replied, “How so?”

“I just don’t have the patience for this. Just count them off and get on with the lesson,” she replied,clearly agitated.

I replied, “This IS the lesson.”

The Problem:

When kids don’t work through tasks and proceed through their failed attempts, they never learn to make simple decisions without checking in.

“Miss Ellen, where should I put my clothes while I take a shower?” Really??

FLIGHT PATTERN 2

The Perception:

I don’t do everything for my kids. My 12 year old has a chore chart. He must check off every box or he doesn’t get his allowance. He earns his gold stars.

The Reality:

Chore charts are wonderful for BUILDING competence, but at some point a child should know what his responsibilities are and be able to follow through when there is no box to be checked and no adult to please.

The Example:

Erin — When I was the chair of a school fundraising dinner, I had not one, but two, different adults come over to commend me on my fabulous hard-working middle-schooler. What earned him his 5 star review? He refilled the napkins and the silverware BY HIMSELF. WITHOUT being asked or directed by an adult. Many of the other kids just stopped setting places when the napkin and silverware bins were empty.

The Problem:

How far we have fallen that the concept of an 12 year old displaying simple competence warrants such high praise? We need to expect more and stop accepting less. At some point, kids should not be working for gold stars but for the pleasure of a job well-done. Kids should be empowered to analyze what needs to be done, and then DO IT.

FLIGHT PATTERN 3

The Perception:

Well, it’s not like I’m writing my fourth grader’s essays for him.

The Reality:

But how much of a crutch are you for him in his schoolwork? Really?

The Example:

Erin – I let my 4th grader fail a science test, because he didn’t bring home his book to study. The big problem was that he didn’t care that he forgot it. When I voiced my concerns, he blew me off with a simple “I’ll be fine, Mom.” Did I drive him back to school to retrieve the book? Did we call a friend to ask for notes? Did we troll the internet for study guides? Nope, and while it was hard to watch his heart break when he showed us the big red “F” on his test, he was rocked by the experience. He has taken the reins and been charting his own course for success ever since.

The Problem:

Caring takes effort. Letting a child experience how crappy failure feels SHOWS them that the effort to succeed is worth it. Elementary school is also a great place to not just learn school lessons, but life lessons as well. The stakes are low here, so failure is a perfectly acceptable option AS LONG AS you LEARN from it.

FLIGHT PATTERN 4

The Defense:

When we have a test, I have to make sure my middle schooler studies. There is nothing wrong with that.

The Reality:

“WE” have a test? Give your child the tools to succeed, but then turn them loose to use them at their discretion.

The Example:

Ellen – Two years ago, my eighth grader decided that despite all she had been taught and shown, she was going to study for her Geometry test by flipping through proofs on the computer instead of working out problems.

I said, “This is not how you have been taught to study. This is not going to work, but I am now going to walk away and let you make your own decision.”

I painfully tore myself away. And she received a D . . . plus. But from that point forward, she started to be a true believer in proper study habits. I now have a high schooler who is succeeding under her own steam with the permanent transcript recording away.

The Problem:

Taking responsibility for your child’s wins and losses takes away two things: 1) The opportunity to learn when she fails and 2) The opportunity to celebrate when she wins. Think of yourself as the water boy instead of the quarterback. Give the field back to your kid.

Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” If you’re not going to let them find even ONE way to fail, then your kids are never going to get their light bulb moments.

Erin– So here is OUR big “Ah-Ha moment”. . .

Ellen – When we accept that we are prepping human beings for life on their own and not crafting reflections of ourselves, it makes it a whole lot easier to get out of that pilot seat we may not have even known we were in.

Erin– Self-realization is a beautiful thing and kudos to our friend for being honest and open about herself. For so many of us moms of tweens and teens, it’s time to move on over and out. It’s time to get our fannies over to air traffic control.

Our job isn’t over, but our child’s needs have shifted. They need us to provide safe skies where they can fly on their own, but they have GOT this.

Ellen – So let’s ALL hand over those controls. The best parents work themselves out of a job.

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